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“A meeting?” It struck him what kind of meeting they might find after midnight. “NA?”
“I’m sorry. I know you needed me here, but all I could think about was using and I can’t. I can’t.” His brother’s voice broke, and he had to take a deep breath. “I was under a lot of stress, stress that I put on myself, and when I’m stressed I don’t deal well. So I had Jayna find a meeting for me. Luckily it’s pretty easy to find one in the city. I’m sorry. It was selfish.”
“No, it wasn’t. It’s the most mature thing you’ve...” He realized what he was about to say and how it would do nothing but add more weight to his brother’s burden. If Paul was being honest, then he was hurting in a way Quaid couldn’t understand. He knew he had every right to feel what he felt, but he could also show his brother a bit of grace for trying. “It was a mature decision. How are you feeling now?”
“It helped. I talked and got some stuff off my chest and listened to other people. I would never have imagined how much listening helps,” Paul admitted.
“What do you do when you’re in Papillon?”
“Oh, I’ve gone to a meeting almost every day I’ve been home.” Paul sat back, a cup of that stale coffee in his hand.
“Really?”
“Yes. There’s one at four every day at the library. It’s held in one of the conference rooms off the main building. I’ve also got a sponsor who’ll answer my calls, but he’s back in LA. When I was there, we had coffee a couple of times a week to check in.”
“You really do this?”
Paul nodded. “I have a schedule and reminders on my phone. It’s my rehab, and I won’t miss it. I know how slippery that slope is. I’ve seen the bottom, and I don’t want to be there again.”
He was quiet, thinking about what Paul had said. He had so many questions, but he wasn’t sure what would be rude to ask.
But being polite hadn’t worked for them. Maybe it was time to be frank. “Why do you think it will work this time?”
“I can’t promise that it will. I can promise that I will do my best. I think that was what settled in me this time. The other times I thought I would go through the motions and check off the boxes and that meant I was cured. This time around, I realized I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. There is no magic button to push that will make me normal. I have a disease, and I am the only one who can make the decision to control it. I have to make the choice every day. Sometimes it’s a minute-by-minute thing. But I want to live, Quaid. I want to make something of myself. I want to stand in front of our father one day and... I want him to be proud of me.”
So much of his resentment lifted in that moment when his brother said what every child wanted. He longed for love and respect, for family and affection. Withholding thosethings wouldn’t make Quaid feel safer, wouldn’t make a loss less tragic. In fact, for him, it might make it worse.
He put an arm around his brother’s shoulder. “I will help you in any way you want, brother.”
Paul leaned in, tears falling. “I want to stay home for a while. I want to be here with you and Mom and Jayna. Do you think I could do that? I can get a job and earn my keep, but I want to be home for now.”
He held his brother tight. “Of course.”
Jayna had been right. They’d needed this.
“Mr. Havery?”
Quaid looked up. “Yes?”
A nurse stood in the doorway. “Your mom is being moved to her room now. You can come and see her, but very briefly. She needs her rest.”
He stood, helping his brother up, and they went to see their mother.
Together.
chapter fourteen
Jayna set the phone down, perfectly satisfied with the way that call had gone.
If Quaid was all right with it, she had a lawyer lined up for Paul. He was a top-of-the-line entertainment lawyer who believed he could get the suit thrown out over breach of contract by the plaintiff. If there was no contract, there was no case, and the intellectual property reverted to Paul.
Her joy at solving the problem was tempered by the fact that she had a far more personal problem.
It had been a week since Mrs. Havery had been released from the hospital. Quaid had moved back to the house in order to help take care of his mother. Something had changed between him and Paul. Something good but perhaps a bit dangerous for her. They’d both tried to get her to move in. They wanted her at the big house, but she’d refused.
While they were in this building with its tiny apartment, everything seemed workable. She’d stood outside the big wrought iron gates of Havery House and felt like she was seven years old and didn’t belong again.
“I’m here,” Sienna called out from the outer office as the chime signaled her entrance. “Sorry I’m late. I had to talk toIvy’s teacher. She got into a bit of trouble. She’s been reading when she should be working.”
