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“I don’t think it would work. Like I said, if she takes this job she’ll be trying to make partner in three years,” he explained. “She won’t have time for anything but the job. She’ll work weekends and late nights. She’ll need to focus, and not on a relationship. The stakes feel higher in a firm like that. The judges in Dallas don’t take Fridays off for fishing.”
Everything moved so much faster when he left Papillon. They would be living in two different worlds, and he wasn’t sure she would even look back. If she did, he would likely be a fond reminiscence, a memory of those months whenshe’d worked on weird cases and fell into bed with a small-time lawyer who’d loved her truly.
“I don’t like this.” Paul’s brows had come together, a look of genuine consternation on his face.
“Well, I don’t like it, either,” Quaid replied.
“No, not the whole Jayna-leaving thing, though I don’t like that, either. I don’t like this new you. You aren’t a man who lies down and takes what life gives him,” Paul stated, putting his napkin on the table.
“Many would disagree.” Over the course of the last few days he’d wondered if that wasn’t their problem. He did take the path his father had placed in front of him. He’d done it with very few questions, and for the most part his life was a good one. Jayna had never accepted that her life was dictated by where she was born and the family she was born into. She’d fought it all her life. They were opposites in this. He’d loved writing his books, but he hadn’t taken the leap to turn it into a real career because he couldn’t let his town down. Jayna had given up everything to find the career she thought she wanted.
“I’m not talking about you taking over for Dad,” Paul argued. “I’m talking about you laying down arms. You have gone after that woman with everything you have but one little pushback and you’re planning the rest of your life without her. I can already see that you’re working on your pining-for-her face.”
“I am not.”
“Yes, you are, son,” his mother agreed. “It’s a little like your I’m-about-to-be-sick face, but with more feeling behind it. And Paul is right. You’re not fighting for what you want.”
“How do I fight when she’s not ready for what I want? I can’t force her to stay here with me. I can’t force her to letme go with her. I’ve offered her whatever she wants as long as I can be with her. What else do I do?”
“Well, it sounds to me like she doesn’t know what she wants,” his mother mused. “It sounds to me like she’s jumping back into what she knows. I know it seems like I’ve changed overnight and you’re worried that I’ll revert to form, but seeing Paul nearly die and then nearly dying myself... well, it’s like I lifted a veil that was covering my eyes for years. I didn’t love your father the way he needed to be loved. I did all the things I thought were important for him, but what I never did when he was alive was ask him what he wanted. I didn’t take the time to know him the way a husband and wife should. I’m not watching you make the same mistake. If you want her, fight for her.”
“I don’t know how to fight for her. There’s no dragon to slay, no villain to beat up.”
“Yes, there is,” Paul insisted. “It’s Jayna. She’s the dragon. Well, her insecurities are. It’s called a metaphor. I learned that in screenwriting class.”
His brother was annoying but also right.
And so was his mother. He’d told her he would do whatever she needed him to do, but he’d been gentle about it. He wasn’t going to overrule her and try to tell her how life was going to be, but he could make a damn fine argument for why she should stay here and give them a real chance.
Arguing was what they did best, after all.
She was up in the air right now, likely going over her closing arguments for the case that they had been duking it out over their entire relationship. She would be weighing every word she would say before she walked into that courtroom and tried to take him down. She would be so precise and focused.
What if he wasn’t? Not the not-precise part. He intendedto be very precise about what he said. But he didn’t have to have such a narrow focus. She was in every part of his heart and his life. Should this be any different?
Quaid stood, his mind rolling with possibilities. “I need to get to the office. I’m going to rewrite my closing on this case.”
“And I’m going to have Paul take me to run a few errands in town before we head over to the courthouse,” his mother announced.
Quaid frowned down at her. She’d never come to the courthouse for one of his trials, never gone to watch his father work. “Why would you do that?”
“I’ve been told it can be an amusing way to spend an afternoon,” she replied.
“I’m going to make a sign.Team Havery.” Paul was back to grinning. “But you should know I actually bet on Jayna to win. Hey, it was a little bet. Five bucks. Nothing more.”
“Well, that’s five bucks you’re going to lose, brother.” Quaid strode out of the dining room.
This was one case he was going to win.
•••
Jayna stared at the courthouse steps, wondering how she was going to survive the next few days here in Papillon without crumbling.
Or she could actually sit down and figure out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She could be an adult and make a pros and cons list because there was more to living in Papillon than a boy. Her sister was here. Her mother was here, and it might be time to talk to her, to see if there was anything to be salvaged. If she stayed and it didn’t work out between her and Quaid, she could still have a life here. It wouldn’t matter that everyone was looking at her. She could stare right back. She wasn’t a fifteen-year-old whodidn’t fit in. Somehow this place she’d grown up in had changed, or maybe she’d been the one to make the change. Maybe she’d needed to see the world to understand how warm this place was, how much she could do here.
She’d spent the weekend with Mitchell Bradford and his partner, Lea Stone. They’d been friendly. Well, the high-powered-lawyer version of friendly, which was aggressive with only a hint of fang.
She’d been surprised to find herself spending more time talking to Mitch’s wife, Laurel. She would have told anyone who asked that talking business was her wheelhouse, but she’d found herself having a glass of wine and asking about what it was like growing up with Lila and Lisa. They’d had a lot in common, and she’d relaxed and even talked to her about Quaid.
