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“And look,” he said, shoulders hitching up, “I get that it’s a stupid hang-up of mine, some ridiculous issue of my own with it, and yeah, my brothers give me crap about my job, but I know they respect it and me doing it.”
She knew that too.
She’d been there for the party they’d thrown for him to celebrate his promotion, had witnessed the pride on their faces then and many other times.
Sure they teased him because that was what his brothers did. Gave each other crap, and it was an equal distribution of it to all parties—former military to PI to architect to nurse to small town cop. Even the girls got their own dose of teasing.
Butshe’dpoked at a wound.
And done it deliberately. Many times over.
Because she’d seen she scored with it.
She just…didn’t know she’d done it that deeply.
God, she was even more of an asshole than she’d thought. “Connor,” she whispered. “I—”
He shook his head. “It’s my hang-up. Not your issue to tiptoe around.”
“Except that I knew it hurt you, and I chose to keep doing it.”
His fingers flexed. “There is that,” he said, tone going light. “Which means you should remember how big you owe me.”
“If you expect me to make up for my assholeness by baking you an apple pie, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”
He grinned, and she relaxed. Marginally. But she still needed to him to know what was in her heart—or some of it, anyway. “And yes, it might be a hang-up of yours, but I also know plenty of men who are nurses andnoneof them are as good as you.” She tugged at his hand, wanting him to look at her, wanting him to understand exactly what she thought about him, wanting him to see all the good things she saw. “You are great at your job. Great,” she whispered. “Everyone sees it. Me. Your coworkers. The other docs. Your family.” A squeeze. “You were made to be a nurse.”
He stilled.
And she knew this was it—her chance to keep moving forward, to put the talks with Pat on the deck to use.
Or to let her past keep holding her back.
But…she was scared.
So fucking terrified of letting this man in, even just a little bit, because of how hard she’d needed to work to keep him out in the first place, because of all the barriers she’d erected to get the job done.
Because he wouldn’t stay on the outskirts of her life.
He’d barrel right in, dig deep, and hold tight.
But she pulled up her big girl panties and pushed on. “I was an asshole to you because of myownhang-ups.”
Fourteen
Connor
He braced.
Because he knew this was going to be intense, that this was going to berough.
And he wasn’t wrong.
When Raven finally shared all that was going on in her head, he was pissed enough to flip a table—no, a fuckingcar.
“You probably don’t remember, but there was a little girl you were taking care of the first day I came to the hospital. She was”—Raven broke off, sucked in a breath—“covered in bruises and hurting and”—another breath—“she had cigarette burns on her thighs. She was like me. I was that little girl once and—” Raven tugged up the hem of her shorts.
“Fuck,” he muttered, tugging his hand free, thrusting it through his hair.
