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“Until about two seconds before John came out and told me you were okay.”
He’d been in surgery a long time.
That didn’t make him happy.
What did?
Raven covering his palm. “Turns out that Lex is even more stubborn than me,” she told him. “And that meant I eventually was at a place where I could recognize that I hadn’t killed you. I’d saved you and given you a chance and”—her throat worked—“when everyone else had given up, I wasstillfighting for you.”
He inhaled so sharply that he winced.
“Shit, honey,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I—”
“Shut up, baby.” He flexed carefully, pushed himself up so that he could cup both her cheeks. “I am so fucking furious at you,” he ground out, shaking her head just slightly. “How could you possibly think that you were responsible?”
Her other hand coveredhisother hand. “I think we’ve already established that my first instincts with regards to my family baggage aren’t always the greatest.”
He growled.
“But honey”—her fingers flexed—“the point is that I saw reason. I am not my mother. I am not responsible for her actions or the bullshit she tries to spew at me.” A breath. “I am not my past. I’m only my present. And when my present isn’t good enough and I don’t make the right choice or to the right step or give the right gesture, then…I’m my future. And that’s okay too.”
He was still pissed that she’d blamed herself—even if it had only been for a few hours.
But he was also so fucking happy that she was mentally in this place—and proud of her because that wasn’t an easy thing to come to terms with.
And he was grateful to Lex for supporting her in that.
Lex had been at the hospital a lot since that night, since he’d missed the text Connor had sent him to meet up at Raven’s house—and thank fuck for that little bit of miscommunication. It was one of the reasons he was still breathing, Raven and the rest of his coworkers being the others. However, it also hadn’t escaped Connor’s notice that Raven and Lex had come to some sort of peace.
Knowing that Lex had saved him from a second stab wound courtesy of Sylvia’s knife blade had indebted Connor to him.
But knowing that Lex had then cared for Raven when he hadn’t been able to? Had helped her out of that cycle that could have broken her?
Thatdebt was larger than life.
Still, he leaned in, held her eyes, and said, “This wasn’t your fault.”
“I know,” she murmured, expression gentle.
He sighed, studying her face, taking in what she was saying…and what she wasn’t.
She was okay, but this wasn’t something that would leave her, not for a long time.
“We’ll compare nightmares, yeah?” he asked lightly. “Trade fire for knife wounds.”
A wince. A glare. “Too soon, honey. Too freaking soon.”
“No”—he kissed her nose—“it’s not,” he whispered. “Because it’s never too early to be our future.”
Epilogue
Raven
“Andthen,” Aunt Pat said, reclining back against the cushions of Raven’s soda, glass of wine in hand, sage tone in full effect, “I told her that her family sounded like a bunch of assholes considering that the first time I’d laid eyes on her, I thought she was a drunk or a drug addict who was too messed up to make it to bed.” She scowled. “Of course,” Pat went on. “That was before I knew her stubborn streak.” A glance at Connor’s belly. “And before I knew her biological one was even worse.”
Raven turned her gaze toward Connor, who was propped up in a recliner and taking his bonding time with Pat seriously.
Veryseriously.
