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In that instant, I hate myself for every moment of pleasure I found with Natalia. Every moment when I wantedher, and not just to sow the seeds of a future revenge, to draw her in and wind the rope tighter and tighter until she hangs herself with it. I think of the moments when I’ve simply enjoyed her company, her sharp tongue, and her beauty, and I feel myself grinding my teeth until I can hear my jaw pop.
She is nothing but a means to an end. Nothing except a vessel for your revenge, and a path back to your life. When that’s done, she should mean nothing to you at all.
“The Obelensky family name will be wiped from the earth when I’m finished,” I murmur under my breath, flattening the photo out again. “I’ll make sure they pay for every drop of your blood they spilled, for every scream and every tear, and when I’m finished, I’ll make certain she knows what it feels like to fear.”
That’s the point of all of this, isn’t it?
I refold the picture, slipping it back into my wallet as I stand. I have a job to do, and when it’s done, I can focus on tightening thenoose around Natalia, until she has no escape. But I want to be sure that she won’t see it coming.
I want her to trust me, so I can see the horror on her face when she realizes what’s happened.
I could tell that she enjoyed the date, that the dinner I treated her to was a rare luxury for her now. She was an impressive actress–if I hadn’t gotten the information from Jakov that made me so certain that “Ekaterina” really is Natalia in disguise, I might have continued to doubt myself. She’d done an excellent job of pretending to be stunned at the embarrassment of riches I treated her to–the clothes, the earrings, the dinner out. If I hadn’t known better, I might have thought it was her first time experiencing all of that, instead of a reminder of a life that, once upon a time, was her everyday existence.
She’d almost slipped up with her comment about the champagne. I had a hard time hiding my own reaction to that, how closely she’d come to making a mistake. But she’d caught herself nicely.
I’m enjoying this game too much.Watching how hard she works to pretend to be someone else, to keep me from being suspicious, when I already know who she is–and me, pretending to buy all of it, because I’m so desperate for her company and her body, so infatuated with her.
Isn’t the obsession you feel just infatuation packaged in a different box?
I grit my teeth as I finish dressing and slip my gun into my waistband, ignoring the small echoing voice in the back of my head that refuses to leave me alone entirely.I’m driving the knife deeper, so it will hurt all the more when I twist it. That’sall that this is. Who knows? Maybe I’ll even get her to fall for me, and the revenge will be even sweeter. When she wants me, at the very least, it will be that much more delicious.
It’s not hard to track Yuri down. I know his movements fairly well already from working with him. He’s a creature of the evening, however, a night owl, and it’s hours before I see him emerge and head towards the dingy bar where I often meet him, probably to meet with someone else.
I check my watch, wondering if I should make a move tonight. I know that meeting or no, he’ll take a smoke break about every hour, and that would be the easiest time to grab him. But–
Fuck.I’m meant to meet Natalia. I hoped I could catch Yuri earlier than this, that he might go out for errands, somewhere that I could grab him from an alley. I might have enough time to catch and stow him before I need to be ready to go and meet her, but that would mean leaving him in the warehouse overnight before I could finish the job.
It’s long been a policy of mine to finish a job on the same night that I grab a mark, unless they’re meant to be delivered to someone else. There’s too much risk in leaving them in the warehouse overnight alive, even drugged, too much risk in waiting so long. For as long as I’ve been doing this kind of work, I’ve followed specific rules for myself–and neat and tidy jobs are part of that.
If there’s no one else to take them to–catch, question, dispatch.
I could reschedule the date.
I don’t have any way to reach her, though.She needs a phone.If I ghost her, it will undo all the hard work I’ve done.That’s the only reason I care. Not because I’m looking forward to seeingher, not because I crave the possibility of what she might let me do to her tonight.
I can’t jeopardize this chance. That’s all.
I can make the hit on Yuri tomorrow. Valeria will wait a little longer.
I hesitate, knowing I’m crossing a personal line, doing something I’ve never done before. I’ve never prioritized my own desires over work. I’ve never put off a job I was on to pursue something for myself. But the thought of losing the progress I’ve made with Natalia, of having her throw up the walls that I’ve only barely begun to breach, gives me a visceral feeling of something almost like panic.
Doesn’t that mean this has gone too far?
I’m already slipping away from the bar, though, heading back to my car, the decision made before I can even really decide it for myself.
I have a date that I can’t afford to miss.
—
The majority of what I need for tonight is already arranged. I have no intention of bringing her back to the apartment I’ve been staying in–it’s nowhere near nice enough for the game I’m playing with her, that of being a rich man who wants a beautiful woman to spoil.
The first half of that is true, at least. I don’t want for money, but without the cash flow that I used to have working for Viktor, I’ve been careful to save what I made in the past by living as frugally as I can while in Moscow–not to mention the need tostay as under the radar as possible, up until now. I had no need for a luxury apartment or five-star dinners while I was biding my time, but now I need the facade of it all–of a man in power, living large and spending without thought–the kind of man I used to be, and what I will very soon be again, if all goes to plan.
Standing in the doorway of the rented penthouse that I hope to bring her back to very soon, I feel a fresh sense of calm wash over me. I want two things–my revenge, and an offer of my place back in Viktor’s Bratva, with his apology for ever mistrusting me. Wiping out all traces of Obelensky’s family, bringing Natalia to him as my proof and for whatever revenge he wants to take, will accomplish that.
I feel certain of it, and at this moment, looking out over the luxurious, minimally decorated space that’s meant to be mine, I feel as if my plan is settling into place. After what happened on our first date and her acceptance of my proposal for a more secure arrangement, I don’t doubt that it won’t be long before I have her back here.
Just be careful of your feelings. Don’t get lost in the pleasure of it. It’s a set-up, a ruse to gain her trust. This is not your home, and she is nothing to you beyond what you can take from her.
