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I want to live as I choose, as Natalia. Not Natalia Obelensky–just as myself. Without fear.
The possibility seems closer than ever–and still somehow too far away.
It’s hard to shake the feeling by the time I get to the club. I know I’m not at my best, and I feel Igor’s eyes on me as I walk past his office to the dressing room.
“Devochka.Athena.” His rough voice stops me in my tracks, and I turn slowly, feeling a knot in the pit of my stomach as I swallow hard and step into his office.
“Yes?” I plaster a smile on my face, forcing myself not to look as worried as I feel. “Is something wrong?”
“I’m not sure.” He steeples his fingers in front of him on the desk, his eyes narrowed. “That man came to my office two nights ago, after buying time with you. The one who took a fancy to you the night I almost fired you. I’m sure you know who I’m talking about.”
I feel my mouth go dry, but I manage to nod. “Yes–of course. I do.”
“Well, he informed me that you wouldn’t be working last night. I told him that wouldn’t do, since I get a cut of your earnings, and if you’re on the schedule, you’re on the schedule. Sick is one thing, but getting money that I don’t get a cut of, well–”
He trails off, and I feel the knot tighten, a sick feeling spreading through me. “I assumed he paid you for my time,” I say faintly. It’s the truth, it is what I assumed, but I have a feeling this isn’t going to go the way I want it to.
“Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t.” Igor shrugs. “That doesn’t change what you owe me.” He holds out his hand, his gaze flat and cold. “You don’t make money unless I make money, Athena. I don’t take kindly to my girls hiring out their services on the side. So if you want to keep reeling in this fish you’ve caught, you’ll hand over your share.”
I truly feel as if I’m going to be sick. I can feel myself going pale, thinking of how much he could take from me. “I don’t see how that’s fair–”
Igor stands up, suddenly, his bulk filling the space behind the desk as he slams his hands down onto it, making me jump and bite my lip to keep from bursting into frightened tears at the shock of it. “I don’t give a fuck aboutfair, devochka. Do you think anyone cares about a girl like you?” He sneers at me, his upper lip curling. “Do you think anyone will miss you,shlyukha?I could strangle you here and leave you in the dumpster out back, and no one would think twice about it. That is your choice. You pay up what you owe, or I take it out of your flesh.”
He leers at me, licking his lips as his eyes rake down my body. “I know what’s under those ugly clothes,devochka. I know how pretty it is. If you want to give it away without cutting me in, then maybe my cock wants a taste, too.”
“You–” I struggle for words, trying to think of some way out of this. Igor’s hands on me are the last thing I want, but I don’t want to lose my money, either. The memory of the letter I found today is far too vivid, and I can see my escape fading, further inthe distance, if Igor is going to take a cut of what Mikhail gives me. I know it won’t be cheap, either, what he takes from me.
Igor is around the desk faster than a man of his size ought to be able to move, his meaty hand on my face as he pushes me back into the door. He leans too close, his breath smelling of lunch and alcohol, and I feel myself instinctively shrinking away.
“Please–”
“Money or pussy,” he rasps close to my ear. “I’ll let you choose,devochka.”
I feel my eyes welling up with hot tears, and with everything in me, I force them back. “Fine,” I spit, pushing him away. “How much do you want?”
He grins toothily. “I knew you’d see it my way. I’d rather have the money anyway. Normally, I’d say thirty percent, but since you decided to try to keep it from me, we’re going to go with sixty, this time.”
“I don’t have itonme.” I glare at him. “I’m not an idiot. Do you think I’d walk around with that kind of cash on me?”
My mind is spinning as I’m speaking, trying to figure out what I’m going to do, if I’m really going to give him sixty percent.So much of that, gone.He has no idea how much Mikhail gave me–but I have a terrible feeling that he’ll know if I shortchange him.
As if he can hear my thoughts, Igor grins wider. “I know what you’re thinking, Athena. You’re thinking how you can get away with getting me less, but I have those rooms bugged. I can find out exactly how much he promised you if you talked about it in there. And I’ll check. If I find out you’re cheating me–”
I feel my heart sink. “I can’t get it to you tonight. Next shift–”
Igor crosses his arms over his chest. “I’ll take half of your earnings tonight, against it. And then you bring the rest tomorrow.”
I nod, feeling shaky and desperate to get out of the room. “Tomorrow. Of course.”
I can’t get out of there fast enough. As soon as the door closes behind me, I cover my mouth with my hand, trying desperately not to cry. I don’t want Ruby to see me like this, and I know she’s going to pick up on it. She always seems to know when I’m upset.
Sure enough, the moment I walk through the door, her eyes go wide.
“What happened? Something with Mikhail?”
I shake my head, teeth still gritted against the tears I’m trying so hard to hold back. “Not really.” I sit down heavily in my chair, explaining to her what had just happened in Igor’s office. I see her expression change, a mixture of sympathy and resignation, and she lets out a sigh.
“Did he do it to you, too?” I ask, staring at her, and she shrugs.
