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I fumble through the pockets, finding the slim wallet he carries in the back. I slip it out, glancing nervously every few seconds over at Mikhail’s sleeping form, ready to jump back into bed with an excuse that I had to go to the bathroom at any sign of movement.
I know it’s foolish to hope that there’s any significant amount of money in the wallet. There’s not–only a few cards that I know I have no means of using. I want to know where he’s keeping the money he took from me, as well as the picture of Sasha and my jewelry, but I have a feeling it’s somewhere that won’t be easy for me to get to.
There doesn’t seem to be anything else in the wallet–until I peek into the thin pocket at the back of it and see what looks to be a folded piece of paper.
I glance at Mikhail again, wanting to be very certain that he’s asleep. When seconds pass without him moving, I slip the paper out, unfolding it carefully.
It’s not paper. It’s a photo, a bit faded and creased now, as if Mikhail has looked at it many, many times. It’s of two people, a woman and a child sitting in a field of flowers. The woman is looking at the camera, eyes bright and happy, her white blonde hair in a braid, wearing a chambray shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tucked into a pair of khaki shorts. In her arms is a boy who looks no older than six or seven, with the same light hair, laughing as the woman tries to keep him from scrambling out of her arms.
It stuns me into sitting absolutely still for a moment as I stare at it.Whoever is in this picture is why Mikhail’s so driven for revenge. My family had something to do with what happened to them.
I have no proof of that, but it’s all that makes sense. I can feel the joy emanating from the photo, a moment of perfect happiness, and I feel something thawing in me towards him as I look at it.
I’ve never had anything like that, something so pure and beautiful. What would I do if I did, and it was snatched away from me? Who would I be willing to hurt? How far would I take it?
I’d led Maximilian and Levin down into my father’s compound to free my half-sister, killed guards I knew by name, watched Max kill my father without a thought of trying to stop it, all for someone I’d only just begun to know. How much more would I do for someone I loved so much?
I look at the picture again, wondering who they were. Had he been married? Was the woman in the photo his wife, and the little boy his child? Were they some other relation to him?
Did my father murder them?
I want to look at it again later, when I have more time. Quickly, before Mikhail can wake up and catch me, I slip it between the mattresses, tucking it so that not even the edge of it shows.
I hesitate, wondering if I should risk anything else.If I had the money–
Going downstairs is dangerous. One creak, one misstep, Mikhail waking in the night and finding me gone, and things will be worse than they were before. But wasting the opportunity feels worse.
Quickly, quietly, I step over to the closet. I can feel my heart beating in my throat as, teeth clenched, I slowly ease the door open. I’m trembling, anticipating the creak that will wake Mikhail, but the house has been well-kept. The door opens silently, and I reach in, finding the dress I’d worn that first day out and slipping it off of the hanger with a whisper of fabric.
I dress quickly, my pulse still hammering. If I find the money, I want to be able to make a run for it while Mikhail is still asleep. With every step I take towards the door, I feel as if I’m on the verge of dissolving with fear, waiting for the sound of his angry voice behind me as I carefully turn the lock, open the door, and step outside of the bedroom.
I’m out.For the first time since I arrived in this house, I’m standing outside of that room alone. I feel a trembling urge to run without stopping to look for the money, but I push it back. I can’t leave without money. I’ll have nowhere to go, no means of getting out of Moscow, or even of finding somewhere to hide until I can find a plan.
Ruby.I think of her, and a shudder of fear goes through me. If I run without money or any means of helping myself, of helpingus, then there won’t be anything that can save her. Mikhail will go after her, either to use her as a means of getting me back, or just to punish me for running at all.
If I have the money, I might be able to get us both out of here. I could tell her the truth, and if she believed me, she’d be willing to leave with me. I could save us both.
It gives me the courage I need to creep down the stairs, slowly making my way down with tiny, tiptoeing steps as I reach the end of the staircase. I step quietly towards the room that I’m fairly certain is used as an office, thinking that the money might be in there. I don’t have the time to search through every room in the house. The only thing I can do is try to guess where it might be most likely hidden.
The door is locked. The knob rattles a little under my touch, and I jerk back, heart hammering in my chest, a surge of disappointment washing through me.
The keys.I glance back towards the front door, weighing the danger of continuing to stay downstairs with the need to find the means to get myself–and Ruby–out of this. I imagine going back upstairs, lying down next to Mikhail again, wondering what tomorrow will bring. I feel my heart clench in my chest, imagining giving up even the tiny chance that I could get out of here–tonight, even.
I’m already walking towards the front door. The dish where Mikhail left his keys is there, and I lift them as carefully as I can, walking back to the door that I assume is the office. I listen for his footsteps as I start to go through the keys on the ring, trying each one to see if it opens the door for me.
None of them do.
Another swell of disappointment fills me.What now? I can’t go through every door in the house. I don’t have time. I stand there, trying to decide what to do now that all my plans have failed–and I stand there a second too long, lost in thought.
Mikhail’s voice behind me is what jolts me out of it.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Natalia?”’
His voice wraps around me like cold silk, and I feel a shiver go through me that chills me to the bone.
“I let my guard down, didn’t I?” he continues, and I can hear his footsteps moving towards me as I stand there, too terrified to turn around. “I didn’t lock you up before I fell asleep. That seems to have been a mistake.”
I can feel him very close behind me now, and a fine tremble works its way through me, making my stomach clench. I almost feel as if I might be sick again as I feel his hand brush my hair off the back of my neck, his fingers trailing up to the nape.
