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“Then what am I supposed to call you?” she laughed. “This is my man, Mace.”
I shrugged and closed the bird box. “Sounds good to me. I call you my ol’ lady.”
“Then I will call you my ol’ man,” Imogen laughed. “Though when I say that, I feel like you need to have a long gray beard and handlebar mustache.”
“Babe,” I laughed. “I think you’re are a little off base with that assumption. Though I’m sure one day I’ll look like that.”
She held up two fingers and mimicked scissors. “You may not know this, but I am pretty good with a pair of scissors. I can trim that beard up when it gets scraggily.”
“I will accept that and not think about why you have that skill.”
“Hey,” she laughed. “Even the dead need to look good.”
I shook my head and tossed the box in the hallway. “That one should go in the fucking garbage,” I muttered.
“Are you creeped out by me being a mortician?” she blurted. “Because a lot of people are.”
I shook my head. “The only way you would creep me out is if you told me you did some kinky stuff with the corpses.”
“Mace,” she hooted. “You are sick for even thinking that.”
I shrugged. “There are some fucked up people in the world, Imogen.”
“And you think I am one of them?” she scoffed.
“Never said that. I said the only way you would creep me out is if you liked to get it on with the corpses.” That was the truth. It was Imogen’s job, and she made good money doing it. No harm in that.
“Well, I don’t. I am very respectful of the dead.”
“Never doubted it, babe.” I grabbed another box and braced myself. “You sure we have to look in each of these boxes?” The dead birds were enough for me. I was scared to see what else Janet had collected.
“Yes, Mace. You might think conjugal visits are hot, but I’d prefer to have sex without it being recorded.”
I tipped my head to the side. “What if I was the only one who got to see the video?”
“I’m pretty sure the prison guards watch.”
She looked up from the box she was sorting through, and I wiggled my eyebrows.
“You’re not talking about conjugal visits anymore, are you?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Nah, babe. I’m thinking you and I need to see about making our own movie. You can get your rocks off to it if I get locked up.”
“Stop,” she laughed and chucked something yellow at me. It bounced off my shoulder and dropped to the ground. “We are not making porn. If you go to prison, you will have to use your imagination while you jerk yourself off in the shower.”
I snatched it off the ground and looked at it. “Did you just throw a rubber duck at me?”
Imogen tipped the box that she was sorting through toward me. “Yeah, I also have about a hundred others I can chuck at you if you get out of line. Watch yourself.”
“Stuffed bird and rubber ducks.” I shook my head and looked around at all the other boxes we needed to go through. “I wonder what else we’re going to find.”
“I can’t even guess, Mace, because the things we’ve already found have already blown my mind.”
I grabbed my next box and took a deep breath.
It would be a long day sorting through all of these boxes, but at least I was doing it with Imogen.
When Imogen was near, things were always good.
