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Holy mother of—why is he doing this to me?
Why?
My eyes sting.
I blink a few times, fighting back the tears that are two seconds from spilling over. “Miles, that’s really sweet, but... I’m just not sure it changes anything. What do you want?”
“A second chance.”
I knew he’d say that.
My eyes flutter shut and I draw a breath.
This is the moment of truth.
We’re about to find out if I’ve feasted on enough self-help TikToks and audiobooks to battle the addiction.
Because the truth is, Miles Cromwell is still my favorite high, and all I want is another fix.
Because none of his heartfelt apologies explain how this ever works with us, and I don’t believe it can.
“Jenn? What are you thinking?” he whispers, so close to me now.
He’s leaning across the desk, tormenting me with the proximity of his lips.
“Miles, I—I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But?”
“But I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I can hear his lungs heaving. I think his soul escapes in that breath.
“Because I hurt you? I’ll make it right, Jenn. Whatever it takes. Anything.”
His eyes search mine, pleading, but I shake my head.
“It’s not just that. I’ve had some time to think since you were away. It’s just... We’re very different people. Sometimes, we’re good together. Sometimes, we’re too good, if I’m honest. But I don’t know if sometimes is enough, and when it’s not, our lives clash and short-circuit and nothing works.” I don’t dare look at him. I turn my head and pretend to stare at my computer screen. “I’m staying here in Pinnacle Pointe, no matter what happens, and I’ll try to make Gram proud. Going back to Seattle pretty much confirmed how off it feels. But I don’t think that’s the life you want—”
“How? I own the house next door,” he says.
“And you’re not living there most of the time. You have other interests, a massive company to run, and traveling is almost as easy as snapping your fingers. How could you ever settle for this and... and really make a life here?” I pause. And make a life with me, is what I really mean, but I can’t bring myself to say it.
We both draw heavy breaths at the same time.
“Deep down, you’re a good man. Someday, I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for, but I don’t think it’s me and my little inn. If we tried to start a life together, I’d only get in your way. Our personalities would clash. You’d always be there to bail me out or try to protect me, but sooner or later, I’d just get hurt again. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. If a fish loves a bird, where do they live?”
“Am I the fish or the bird?” His smile is so sad it breaks me.
I can’t help smiling back, feeling my heart turn to dust. “Whatever you want, but my point is, we’ve had our moment.”
“Don’t do this, Jenn. I know I fucked up and I’m sorry.” He reaches over, clasping my hand, always so small in his palm. His fingers curl around it like a security blanket I can’t stand to throw away.
God, I’ve missed his warmth so much.
And I’m going to miss this man forever.
The tears slide down my cheeks, but I put on a brave face.
“I know it’s... it’s hard. And I’m sorry, Miles. It’s killing me too, but if we get back together and break up again like I’m sure we will, it’ll only hurt worse later. Plus, if I hadn’t found Ava Wickes by accident and followed her to get a confession, would we still be having this conversation at all?”
He doesn’t answer as he releases my hand and falls back a step.
I nod. “That’s what I thought. I’m sorry. It’s probably best if you go...”
“It’s not like that,,” he whispers. “The only reason we wouldn’t be talking is because I’d still be running around trying to figure out the truth about my dad to save him and save the damn company. The second that was done, I’d be here. Tell me you know that, kitten.”
Kitten.
Oh my God, he’s shattering me into pieces so small I’ll never fit together the same way again.
“I can’t live without you,” he rasps, all smoldering pain.
Fumbling, I reach for a tissue at the edge of the desk and wipe my eyes. “Y-yes, you can. You were doing it just fine before me.”
When I hear him sigh, I think that’s it.
I’m expecting him to storm off like he should.
Instead, he reaches over and grabs my hand again.
“What are you doing?”
“Come with me. I need to show you something first, before I know I’m done.”
“Miles, you should go.” My voice hitches again.
“I’ll leave as soon as you see it, if you still want me to.”
With a sigh, I don’t resist as he leads me out the back door and around to the gardens.
