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The apology just made everything worse. He might as well have said he truly believed everything he said was the truth, and because this was Lysander, Estrella found herself regressing, doubting herself as she used to.
The ordinary, talentless princess, not as smart or beautiful, not as brave or strong as any of her siblings - how could she have forgotten, how could she have been so arrogant to have forgotten who she really was?
Lysander's words had to be true, she realized painfully. People looked up to him, a man whom many described as the finest warrior of his race. That was just the kind of prince he was, and so if he believed she would only be a hindrance to their plans—-
Estrella saw Lysander start to speak, and she quickly shook her head. "You don't have to explain. You know these things better than I, so it must be as you say." The words rolled down her tongue without trouble. She had seen the light now, and it shamed her, when she thought of how she had been acting while he was gone, making decisions for an entire race like she really knew what she was doing.
Everyone must've thought I was so full of it. Laughing at me behind my back because they knew all the good things that I made happen were probably a result of pure dumb luck and several strokes of good fortune. God, I was so dumb to think I could really rule in Lysander's stead. The sheer pretentiousness...
Lysander couldn't help flinching upon hearing his wife's mental self-castigation. Stop thinking things like that—-
He saw Estrella stumble back the moment he spoke in her mind, and Lysander whitened, realizing too late he had ended up hearing something he wasn't supposed to hear...and he just had to let her fucking know it, too, like some asshole who enjoyed twisting the knife to make people bleed more.
SHIT.
"I didn't mean to—-" He tried to reach for her hands, but she yanked them out of reach in a seemingly instinctive gesture, and Lysander froze. She had never refused his touch before, and that she was doing so now—-
Estrella nearly wept with relief when the door behind Lysander suddenly opened, and the twins along with the kingdom's chief spymaster came out. "Fina." She rushed to her friend but then she saw the strangely discomfited expression on the older woman's face—-
"Your Highness."
Oh no. She knew that look, and she stumbled to a stop. Fina believed the same thing, too.
"I need a word with you, Fina," Estrella heard Lysander say.
And now, they were probably going to talk about her.
The other woman bowed stiffly to Estrella but swiftly turned and walked away before Estrella could say anything. She watched Fina catch up with the prince and realized it was her first time to see the two in each other's company.
And...they looked good together. Probably better than she and Lysander did, because Fina was everything she was not. Smarter and more experienced, a person who had earned Lysander's respect...someone who could rule the Faes far better than an inexperienced and unskilled outsider.
THE PRINCE DIDN'T APPEAR inclined to talk right away, and Fina was thankful for that. She had no idea what had gone down between him and the princess, but she wasn't going to take any chances. She had to be careful and cunning like she always was, play it by the ear and hopefully have Lysander unknowingly clue her in.
It was only when they were at the very edge of the property when the prince suddenly turned to her and asked abruptly, "Is it possible that Estrella could've misread the situation? That in her inexperience she might have indeed believe she had won the battle at Miller Mine and not you?"
"The princess is a great many things, Your Highness," she couldn't help saying sarcastically, "but I have never figured her to be an idi—-"
Anger flashed in the prince's eyes as he cut her off, saying icily, "Take care with your words, Fina. I accord you the respect you deserve as my former mentor, but that can only go so far."
Shit. She had obviously miscalculated that one terribly, and Fina quickly backtracked. "I'm sorry, Your Highness." Her voice trembled convincingly with unshed tears. "It's only...I had a feeling this would happen. After all..." She thought of something completely random to say and blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "The twins..." She made her voice break off like it was suddenly hard to speak, made her eyes well up like she was just a tiny push away from bursting into tears.
And then she waited.
Lysander's head jerked up. "The twins?"
She kept waiting and let the silence grow tense and uncomfortable, knowing from experience that if she waited long enough...
"It's alright." The prince's tone was stiff.
