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I have my uncle here, and now I’ve been offered a place to stay by a man who I’ve only just met, but I know the option is there if I need it. Perhaps it may be good to meet others in a place I’m about to call home. It can be a refuge from the pain of far too many months, days, and hours at the hands of a violent man.
I step into the shower, allowing the water to rain over me. The water covers the trickling tears racing down my cheeks. There’s pain in my chest, but it’s not because of Rogan. No, this is an acute awareness that I like someone. A man. Someone who looks like he should be violent, but he’s not, and the fear of him turning into Rogan stings. It grips my heart, and I can’t help crying out. The sound echoes off the walls, bouncing left to right.
Frustration ebbs and flows through me. Sully offered me a new life. One where I don’t have to keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for the day Rogan finds me. Because I know he will.
As the water turns cold, waking me from my thoughts, I turn off the taps and step out into the bathroom. Even though it’s scorching outside, I’m cold. A shiver wracks my body as I wrap myself in the soft, fluffy material of the towel.
The bruises may have faded, but there are a few that have stayed. The scars of my past will forever haunt me. Through the colorful ink, I can see them, taunting me. Reminding me of who I was.
A girl who trusted.
A girl who gave everything.
Back in the bedroom, I sit on the bed, staring out the window, taking in the view of nothing but red hills in the distance. The heat is already starting to seep from the room. It’s stifling at the best of times, but today, Sully is leaving, and it’s as if he’s taking the warmth with him. I know he’ll want an answer to his offer. And I honestly don’t know what I’m going to say.
I’m clean of the drugs.
I’m ready to go out into the real world, but to trust a man again is not something I want to do. In fact, it’s the last thing I ever want to do.
A rumble of an engine stirs me into action, and I lean on the windowsill to see three bikes pull up into the parking lot. There are two men and one woman because I can see her curvy figure in a pair of blue denim jeans and leather jacket that cuts into her waist, fitting perfectly.
I can’t tear my eyes away from them. From her. When she tugs the purple-and-black helmet from her head, I note how beautiful she is. With confidence, she shrugs her leather jacket from her shoulders, and I notice the ink covering one arm from wrist to shoulder.
She’s absolutely stunning.
Sully saunters out, and I watch in awe as he shakes the hands of both men, then jealousy surges in my gut when he picks the girl up and spins her around. I don’t know who she is to him, but I can’t deny there’s yearning in my chest.
Do I really want this man?
He sets her on her feet, and when he turns, he glances up at my window, and I leap away with my heart thudding wildly. He caught me watching. Confusion swirls in my mind because I want to go with them, to have a life, but I’m so fucking scared it grips me in its feral claws, threatening to tear my heart from my chest.
I pull on my underwear quickly, then my jeans. As I’m tugging a white tank top over my head, there’s a knock at my door. I move quickly toward it and pull it open to find Sully standing on the other side.
“My Lucky Clover,” he says, cocking a smirk from the corner of his mouth.
I feel the heat on my cheeks, the blush he causes. “Hey.”
“I’m headin’ out,” he informs me. Which is of course why his friends are here.
He told me last night he’s going. And even though we only sat and spoke, debated about music, I realize I didn’t want him to go then, and now I’m pained because he has to leave.
“Oh.” The syllable falls from my mouth. Even though I don’t want to sound sad, I hear it. There’s disappointment drenching the word. “I saw the bikes pull up.”
“Aye, Monster is here,” he murmurs, gesturing with his hand down toward the staircase where I know his friends are probably sitting in the quad, possibly smoking. “I told him ’bout ye.”
This causes my eyes to snap to his. “You did?”
He nods, his eyes boring into mine, questioning me without words. He wants to know what my answer is. Will I go with him, go with them, or will I choose to move on alone? I have another week of being in here, then I’m out.
