Page 54 of Hate To Love You


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“Then why did he think you weren’t speaking to him? Why did you stay with Maxon and Keeley to avoid him at Noah and Harlow’s place?”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course he told you.”

“He said you would explain.”

“All right. Remember I said that my father had gotten a friend’s daughter pregnant? I was talking about Douglas Lund. Amanda is Stephen’s younger sister. That wasn’t the only terrible thing my father did to his supposed bestie, but it definitely started the bad blood between them.”

“Why would you assume Stephen would blame you for your father’s sins? Because everyone else is?”

She nods. “I knew the affair was going on. I knew what my father is like. If I had said something… But I didn’t because, despite the age gap, they’re both adults and seemed happy, and I never thought he’d treat her like a piece of ass. But maybe I could have stopped it if I’d made my father’s business my own.” She gives a bitterly ironic shake of her head. “Then again, that’s true of a lot of things.”

“What do you mean?” Is she talking about the financial scam, too?

“Long story.”

One she’s not ready to tell. Another dead end.

With a frustrated sigh, I pull up at the inn. It’s dark except for the light shining from the window in the nursery. So unless Bethany invites me in, the evening—and my chance to get answers—is over until tomorrow.

I stop the car and put it in park. “I know you and Stephen dated at some point.”

She unbuckles her seat belt. “It’s late, and I’m not up for this conversation, Clint.”

When she opens the door, I grab her arm to stay her. “Please.”

With a sigh, she settles back in her seat. “All right. We didn’t date. He understood my life and he comforted me when I asked him to. I needed to know what sex with someone I actually cared about would be like. I needed to know if I could feel anything for someone I wasn’t screwing for the wrong reasons. He was the only decent sexual experience I had until you. I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m thirty. I’ve made choices you’ll probably never understand. My past isn’t up for negotiation. If that’s a deal breaker for you, then it’s better for me to know now. I’ll find another ride home tomorrow.”

Her words ping in my head. I don’t like her answer, but…she’s right. I have no moral high ground. In the past, I’ve taken women to bed for way less righteous reasons than needing solace or affection. Hell, my intentions with Bethany are definitely less than pure. Or at least they started that way. Some people would argue that I’m fucking her for the truth. That I’m using her. While that might be a smarter choice for my heart, that’s not what’s happening at all.

“I’m sorry, Beth. Your past is yours, and you owe me nothing. I was…” Jealous as hell. “Out of line.”

Under the sedan’s overhead lights, she bounces a soft gaze my way. “Honestly, I didn’t think it would matter to you until I saw your face. I’m—”

“Annoyed with my behavior? I don’t blame you. I’m pretty fucking annoyed, too.”

“No. In an odd way, I’m flattered. What I did has never mattered to any of my past lovers. I’m not looking for a caveman, but it’s nice that you care.”

Thank god she’s not totally pissed. “Is it asking too much to not let someone else touch you while we’re together?”

“Would that work both ways?”

Right now, I can’t imagine being interested in anyone else. And I definitely don’t need any more complications. “Yeah.”

“Don’t you want to think about whether you’d like to be exclusive?”

“No.”

She glances over at the dark ohana beside the house, then back to me. “Is Ash expecting you back at his place tonight?”

“I think he’s trying to see what’s between him and Samantha.”

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?”

The smart choice would be to walk away until I have my head screwed on straight. Until I’ve got some perspective. Until I’m not jealous that someone else gave her the comfort I want to shower on her. But I need every moment with Bethany. I need her trust. And I need her attention. The truth is, I wonder if I’m coming to need her.

Jesus, I put myself in the stupidest, shittiest position.

Still, there’s only one answer. “I would love to stay with you. I’d love to get those clothes off you, my hands on you, and hear you scream my name again.”

A blush steals across her cheeks again. “Now that Maxon and Keeley are back, we might have to be a tad quieter than last night.”

Fuck that. “They have a newborn, so I think they know all about sex.”

“They just don’t need to know my business. No one does.”

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