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Before I could say anything more, Kalon and I were back at the cabin, standing in the middle of the living room. It felt peaceful and normal, but I knew that normal wasn’t in the cards for me anymore. Even if I was able to go about my life like before, the simple fact that I had to feast from humans now was enough to end the illusion of normalcy. Plus, there was also Kalon to take into consideration.
“What are you thinking?” Kalon asked quietly.
I looked up at him. “That I have no choice but to love you.”
Chapter 23
Kalon~
That was not the declaration of love that I’d been hoping for, and now I understood why Mora resented the prophecy so damn much. We were never going to know if our words of love were given freely, or if they were given because we’d been forced into this situation. Even though I felt like I loved her out of choice, we weren’t ever going to know if that was really the case or not.
“Not sure how I feel about that,” I replied honestly. “Hearing you say it, I understand better what you meant when addressing my feelings about you.” Her face softened with understanding, and if a vampire could ever look tired, Mora looked it. “Even though I feel that my love for you has nothing to do with the prophecy, there’s no way to ever convince you of that. I know that now.”
Mora’s brows furrowed in thought. “Maybe, maybe not.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I can feel your pain, and you can feel mine, then why can’t we feel our love as we fall deeper into this thing between us?” she posed. “I can feel everything about you when we’re having sex, so maybe I’ll be able to see into your heart one day. Maybe this…this prophecy won’t be all bad.”
I tried hard not to smirk. “Is this you trying to be positive?”
“This is me deciding not to make this…” Mora let out a deep sigh. “This situation is already difficult enough as it is, so…it…it doesn’t need me making things harder.”
I let out a dark laugh. “Jesus, baby.” I let out a sigh of my own. “You sound like you’re headed to the goddamn gallows.”
Her lips twitched, and I could feel my chest relax a bit. We were a disaster, and this thing between us was a mess, but I was really beginning to believe that we were going to be okay. As long as we were left the hell alone, we could figure this out. If people kept coming after us, there was no telling when Mora would finally get fed up and kill everyone.
“I’m just confused, Kalon,” she confessed. “I’m confused about everything that I don’t know, unsure about my future, and so damn mad at you for doing this to me.” Another deep sigh. “Have you any idea how…discombobulating it is to want someone that you’re mad at so badly? My brain can’t make up its mind to accept this or fight it. I feel like…I feel like I keep turning left, then changing my mind and turning right. I’m so goddamn confused, Kalon. I’m so goddamn confused, but at the same time, everything feelsrightwhen you’re with me. When you’re with me, I forget that I’m a vampire and that I don’t want to be one. When you’re near me, I want what we have to work out, but then…but then, who in their right mind wants to be a vampire?”
I could appreciate how confused she felt. “Maybe we just need to focus on the reality of our situation,” I suggested. “You can’t change back, Mora. You can’t change back, so unless you plan on being mad at me for the rest of our existence, that’s an anger that you’re going to have to let go, baby.” I regarded her carefully. “You’re mad at facts, and that’s not going to help anything. I understand wanting to hold onto your pride and anger, but an eternity is a long time, Mora.”
“I feel like I’m supposed to be tired,” she whispered, and my heart ached for her. “I just feel so damn…I just want my brain to shut off for a while, Kalon.”
“Because I had insisted on knowing everything about you, I know where your father is, Mora,” I told her, and her grey eyes widened. “I can go with you to speak with him, and if he does have some advice on how to control your visions, that will help with the overwhelming feeling of being what you are.”
“And if he doesn’t know anything?”
I walked towards her, placed my hands on her shoulders, then said, “Then we’ll figure it out. Whether people believe in psychic ability or not, there’s so much that can be researched online, Mora. We’ll try it all, baby.”
“And if they keep coming for us?
“Then we’ll be waiting,” I assured her. “However, I seriously doubt that anyone’s going to be coming after us again, Mora. That little demonstration earlier got the point across, I’m sure.”
“The worst is going to be losing my parents,” she said, and I knew that there was nothing that I could say to make her feel any better about that fact. “Losing my parents and losing Zaire are going to be hard.” Her brows furrowed when she asked, “And what am I supposed to tell them when we never have kids? I have no problem going through the motions with you for their sake, but what am I supposed to say when the time comes for them to expect grandchildren? I can sell a whirlwind romance, but I’ve never said anything about never wanting kids.”
I cradled her face with my right hand. “We pretend to try for a few years, and then we tell them that I can’t have kids,” I told her. “We’ll blame it on me, and when they mention adoption, we can also blame that on me. We’ll tell them that it would be too much like feeling like a failure in my own home, so we decided to not have any.”
“This sucks,” she muttered, and she wasn’t wrong.
“I know,” I agreed. “Still, no matter how…trying it feels right now, there’s no going back, Mora. There is no unringing the bell. There’s no going back in time, so we need to deal with what’s in front of us. We need to focus on what’s important right now.”
“You’re the only thing that feels important right now,” she replied softly. “You’re the only thing that makes sense when I’m trying hard to wrap my mind around everything else.”
“I hate that you don’t sound happy about that,” I replied truthfully.
“It’s nothing personal,” she lied. “I’m not happy aboutanything, Kalon. I’m not…my emotions still haven’t sorted themselves out, and I have no idea when they will.”
I had no idea what to say to that. It’d be different if she were ranting and raving, acting unhinged. If she were an angry mess, then I could focus on calming her down. However, she wasn’t an angry mess. Instead, Mora sounded calm and resolute. She sounded perfectly fucking sane.
