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“For what?” I ask, staring him in the eyes. “How much longer? How much more time? I'm sorry, but I can't,” I say. I want to so badly, but it’s been six months now and I just can’t anymore. The pain is too intense, and the suffering too intense.
He kisses me passionately then, sending a wave of warmth down my spine as my knees buckle. His lips make my heart race as butterflies flutter inside my stomach. I give in to the kiss, allowing our lips to lock, and in the back of my mind, I can't believe he's kissing me out in the garden during the daytime because other people can see.
But I won’t let his kiss sway my decision. I pull away from his embrace and gently push him off of me.
“I mean it, Eric,” I say in a firm tone. “Tell your dad, or we’re over.”
At those words, he takes a step back, his eyes filled with grief. I wish there was a way that things could be different, but he has to decide for himself, and at the moment, he appears to be on the fence. The handsome man stares at me, unable to say a word. The pain in my heart returns as I wait for him to say something, anything, because the prolonged silence can only mean one thing. I close my eyes and let out a whimper.
“I just… can't right now, Kitty,” he finally says. I take a deep breath as his words sink in.
Of course. I should have known better. Eric was never going to tell his father about me, and Aunt Nellie was right all along; he was just stringing me along. My heart feels like it’s just shattered into a million pieces, and I wish I could crawl underneath a rock and die right now, but I don't want him to see how badly I'm hurting. Instead, I turn away and walk back to the garden’s entrance, my shoulders stiff.
“Kitty,” I hear Eric call out from behind me, but I keep walking. I can't let him see these tears rolling down my cheeks. I love him, but he’s made his choice, and I have to let him go. After all, Aunt Nellie was right. I'll never belong in his world, and I was crazy to ever think that I could. Our love was good while it lasted, but it's time for me to face the truth: Eric doesn’t love me enough to make this happen, and now, it’s time for us to go our separate ways.
CHAPTER19
Kitty
It's been a few days since I last felt Eric’s touch. My body feels weak without him, and my heart breaks a little more every day. I miss him so much, but difficult choices have consequences, and this is my cross to bear. Still, it's hard coming to the castle every day to clean, but at least my schedule was changed, so we haven’t run into each other. Today, I'm scheduled to clean the kitchen with another maid, and Eric never comes in here, so I know I'll be able to avoid him for the rest of the day.
As I scrub the enormous hearth, I fixate on the ash and grime as if my life depended on it because I've never been in so much pain in my entire life. I wish there was a way I could make my heart stop contracting with agony, but there's nothing that I can do about it. Tears form in my eyes, but I refuse to let one single drop roll down my cheek. I can't cry over Eric, especially not here. Not in the palace. This hurts like hell, but I have to be strong.
Then, I dunk a mop into the hot soapy water and wring it out before attacking the kitchen floor. I've been using work to distract myself from the anger and hurt inside. It works too, somewhat at least. During the day, I'm okay, but every night, I cry myself to sleep. My lips yearn to feel Eric’s kiss and I want to fall into his strong arms, but that’s just a pipe dream. He made his decision, so it’s time to let go. I push the mop along the kitchen floor, making sure I don't miss a spot. Somehow, cleaning actually keeps me sane.
“We’ll be able to see our reflections in that floor by the time you're done,” the maid I’m paired with for the day says with a friendly smile. I force a half-hearted grin back.
“I know, right?” Then, I turn back to my work.
I don't want to be rude, but I'm not really in the mood to talk either. I haven't been in the mood to doanythingexcept for clean for the last three days. I feel empty inside without my lover, and part of me wishes he would appear at the kitchen door right now and sweep me up in his arms, but I know that won't happen. It's over between us and this isn’t a fairytale.
At that moment, however, another maid rushes into the kitchen frantically, running like a chicken with its head cut off. She bends over and places her hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. A few other maids follow behind her, and we surround her as we try to figure out what's going on.
“King Wilhelm has ordered Prince Eric into the throne room before the entire court!” she says. We all gasp.
“Including us?” Erin asks with a puzzled expression on her round face.
“I suppose so,” Angelica says with a smirk. “Wearepart of the court, right?”
“Come quickly,” the first maid nods. “There are sure to be fireworks!”
My heart races because what the hell is going on? There aren’t very many public proclamations, and there’s definitely nothing on the horizon that I know of. But if the King has ordered Eric to appear in front of the entire court, it must be really important, right?
We crowd into an upper galley, where most of the staff is located. We’re three floors above the throne room itself, and I can see Wilhelm sitting with a stern expression on the throne. The old man is more dour than usual, with his whiskers and beard looking especially stiff. Uh oh. Whatever it is, it can't be good. He looks like he's out for blood.
Eric strides into the throne room at that moment with his shoulders back and his head up high. He’s gorgeous, as usual, with his black hair brushed back and his blue eyes practically glowing. He’s tall and handsome, and the maids around me let out a collective sigh of appreciation. I can’t help but stare because because it's only been three days, but I feel like I haven't seen my lover in forever.
Then, Eric turns his head slightly and glances up into the shadows. Oh God! Can he see me right now? I hope not, but I feel like somehow, he knows I’m here. My whole body shakes as my pulse begins to race. Those blue irises still have that effect on me, and somehow, I know he sees me. But then, my lover quickly turns away and continues to approach his father's throne. Somehow, Eric doesn't seem worried at all, but I don't thinkheeven knows why he's been summoned here today.
King Wilhelm stares at his son furiously as the entire court watches. If I were Eric, I would be terrified right now because everyone knows Wilhelm can be vindictive. Yet my lover maintains his cool, and looks right back at his father with a steady gaze. Murmurs rise in the room with all sorts of hushed speculation, and I can't take it anymore because the suspense is killing me. I need to know what's going on. Could it be that Wilhelm is sending him away again? But why?
“Silence,” the King booms. The room goes quiet, and everyone is still. Wilhelm stares at his son, his blue eyes narrowing. “Eric, do you know why I've called you here today?” My eyes are locked on my lover as I await his answer. What's this whole thing about?
“No,” the handsome man replies, unperturbed. Oh God, this is just going from bad to worse. I know it.
“Have you been dating someone?” King Wilhelm asks, narrowing his eyes into slits. My heart beats even faster. Why would he ask him something like that? Did he find out about our relationship? Maybe someone saw us together and told him about us, but that can't be because we were always discreet.
“You're asking me about my dating life?” Eric scoffs. “In front of all of these people?” He looks around at the members of the court with a dismissive, yet confident, air.
