AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Mom, shh, it’s okay,” I would whisper to not disturb the monster who had retreated to the back bedroom.
“Ryan, baby, go, go now, stay at Conor and Finn’s,” my mother spoke with blood coming from her mouth.
There was no way I was leaving her. He could come out at any time and attack her again. She was my mother. I would protect her. I always heard Conor and Finn’s Daddy tell them, “you protect the women, that’s what a man does.” I would be a man; I will protect my mother. That night, like many other nights, I had her sleep in my bed as I laid on the floor guarding her with my life.
Shaking my head, I removed my hands from the wheel and rubbed them across my face, hoping that would make the memory go away. It didn’t work. The memories started to flood my mind. I could see it like it was yesterday: the ambulance, the police all in front of my home, the monster who lived there being dragged out.
I ran to it, yelling, “Mom. Mom. Mom.”
A cop tried to stop me, but I was bigger. I was a teenage boy who worked out and trained. That monster waited for me to not be home, and then he attacked.
As I stared at my hands, I could still see the blood on them from dropping to my mother’s motionless body that laid in the shitty kitchen that was in the middle of the mobile home. With my heart racing so fast, I thought for sure it would beat right out of my chest.
I leaned my face down to hers and kissed her forehead, stroking her blood-soaked hair, crying, “Momma, I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry. Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you, but I will never let it happen again, I promise.”
That promise didn’t matter. She was gone. My mother was beaten to death, and I was not there to keep her safe.
What kind of son am I?
That night changed everything. I left that mobile home park, never to return until right now when I failed another woman. A woman who was just a girl when I came and stayed in her home. Her daddy and brothers opened their home to me. Kenna would sit and play her guitar on the front porch of her house, and I would sit there most evenings and listen, letting the strum of the strings soothe me. I don’t know if she knows that she is the one who got me through the loss of my mother or the guilt that I felt for not protecting her. I regretfully never told or thanked Kenna for this.
As I sat in my truck, letting the guilt consume me from so many years ago, I shivered from still feeling Kenna’s hands in mine that night, months after I had broken down, broke from the pain of losing my mother and the guilt of failing her. I was sitting on the steps of the front porch, and Kenna was playing her guitar. The sound of her fingers hitting the strings made the most soothing sound.
Something inside me broke, and my eyes filled with tears. The tears just would not stop. With my elbows on my knees, I dropped my head into my hands to hide the tears from Kenna. I didn’t want her to see me weak or broken because that’s what I felt: broken. She reached up and pulled my hands from my face. As she intertwined her hands with mine, I peeked up into the most beautiful emerald green eyes.
That was the moment, the moment I knew she was my perfection. I knew there was no way I could have her. I would only be able to admire her from afar. I pulled my hands from hers and cupped her beautiful face. I felt it when she leaned into my hand. As I slowly slid my hand from her face, I tried to stop myself, but my thumb rubbed across her bottom lip. It took all my power not to kiss her, but I succeeded. Once my thumb ran across her lip and down her chin, I stood and walked away and right past Finn, who was watching from the front door.
Finn and I never spoke of that moment, and I don’t believe he ever told Conor. Conor isn’t thinking like Finn. He would break my neck if I ever did anything with his baby sister. I may be one of the best fighters around now, but everything I’ve learned I’ve learned from the family who took me in. Even though he is my best friend, my brother, he would not think twice about ending me if I did anything with his baby sister.
The last time I left this mobile home park, I had lost the most important woman in my life. Now, pulling out years later, I vowed I would make that motherfucker who put his hands on my Mackenna pay. Yes, she is mine, even if I can’t have her. She has always been mine. Tearing onto the road, I thought how good it would feel to beat that motherfucker, how it would feel to cause the same pain to him that I know he did to Kenna. How to scare him to the point of pissing himself. The anger was burning through me. My car rang with a call as I turned left onto my road. Finn’s name appeared on the dash.
“Finn, what’s up?” I asked firmly.
“Dude, I know you. I know this is eating at you right now, plus I saw the newbie's face you used as a punching bag at the gym,” Finn stated.
“I can’t right now, Finn. I’m about to—”
Finn jumped in before I could finish.
“Dude, I know how you feel about Ken. I’ve watched you for years pining over her, asshole. Plus, with your past, I know you are ready to fuck someone up.”
I said nothing. Honestly, what could I say? I knew that Finn knew, but there was no way I was saying it out loud.
Finn started speaking again, “If you are going to come tonight, I need you to keep yourself together. I don’t think Conor could handle the fact that you are in love with our sister.”
“Fuck, Finn, I’m not in love with Kenna. You don’t know what you are talking about,” not believing the words coming out of my mouth.
9
MACKENNA
Taking a deep breath, Chrissy turned the knob of the front door of my family home. I followed her into the place where I grew up, the place I hadn't returned to since my daddy passed away. I looked around to see the furniture my brothers had replaced, but other than that, everything was the same. The living room, where I spent so many times harassing my brothers, still had all the family photos hanging on the wall.
Where there was once a small, flowered sofa, now sat a large brown leather sectional that looked like you would sink into. Across the room was the big bay window that I can remember brought in the bright sunlight. The curtains that were once faded white had been replaced with new bright white curtains that hung all the way to the dark hardwood floors, which I knew had been refinished since the last time I was there.
As we walked toward the kitchen, I took notice of the massive television that hung on one of the walls. As I passed the staircase, I could not help but look up and wonder if my room was still the same. I mentally stated that I would have to go up and check. Entering the kitchen, I was taken aback by the changes. What was once an outdated kitchen was now sleek and modern. There was absolutely no way my brothers designed this kitchen.
"Do you like it?" Chrissy asked.
