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It was something that she had learned the moment that both those things had been ripped away from her and her sister. Using that memory to give her strength, she asked, ‘What about their emotional needs? In those precious first few months and years, and then later on in life? And where will we live? Will we even live together?’ she asked, seeing his eyes flare in response to her last question. ‘I want...to do thiswithyou. I don’t want to tell you about my first scan after the fact, or first steps or first anything. I want you to be there with us, I want... I want to share it with you.’
And it wasn’t just for her child, Amelia realised as her heart quivered in her chest, waiting for his response. For years she had taken the reins, looked after her sister, taken care of her mother, made the hard decisions and had the difficult arguments and still, despite that, she wanted to give him part of this and it terrified her. Because if she learned to rely on him, if she learned to lean on him and he walked away? It would break her heart permanently.
But she couldn’t let fear deter her and she pressed on. ‘I don’t know how long Issy and Gianni will be away, but when my sister comes back, I want to share this news with the happiness that it deserves. I want to be able to tell her what my future and our child’s future is going to look like in the next few months. There is nothing that can be done about the Aurora project now for at least another week. And I want... I’mhopingthat you will give us that time for us to learn enough about each other to see if this might work? To see if we can be more. To see if...you can trust me.’
Alessandro couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t seen the sincerity and the need behind her questions. She had laid herself more open here than in what they had shared last night. And her hopes fed almost directly into his daydreams, fantasies that were becoming more like wishes with each moment he shared with her. Wishes that had gold bands and diamond rings that shocked as much as scared him.
But he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t feel a sense of panic, a sense of being rushed that made him anxious, as if his hand was being forced before he’d had time to think things through properly himself.
He thought about what she’d said about Gianni and her sister. The moment he’d finished his call with Sofia he’d sent word to St Lovells, ensuring that his cousin would at least know that the project had been saved and there was now no longer any threat to Rossi Industries. But hadn’t he avoided speaking directly to Gianni because he had no idea how to explain to the man closer to him than any brother what was happening with Amelia?
No matter what he felt, though, the last thing he would allow was for his child to grow up amongst frigid cordiality or burning mistrust and resentment. He and Ameliadidneed to work together to find a way through it all for the sake of their child.
‘What are you suggesting?’ he asked, curious as to how what she was hoping for fitted into the folded pieces of paper in the jar.
‘I have written out a number of things we can do together.’
Dios mio.‘Amelia. Is this the romantic version of team-building exercises?’
He instantly wished he could call the errant thought back, until Amelia’s surprised laugh fell between them, lightening the mood and brightening her eyes in the most incredible way. ‘It is the solution to a problem,’ she forced out through her smile.
Reluctant to lose the moment, he eyed the folded paper suspiciously and continued to play the grouch. ‘Fine, but if you expect me to fall back with my eyes closed and trust that you’ll catch me—’
This time the laughter that erupted from Amelia was fresh and wild like the flowers on the meadow between his and Gianni’s estates.
‘You’d crush me,’ she replied, after successfully swallowing her laugh.
He couldn’t help the responding pull at the corner of his lips, or the way that it captured Amelia’s gaze.
‘I would,’ he agreed and, somehow, they were no longer talking about trust exercises. Shaking the erotic thoughts from his increasingly dirty mind, he took a sip of the espresso, only mildly cooler since it had been made. She knew how he liked his coffee. Black and scalding. He refused to acknowledge it, but it meant something to him. ‘Okay,’ he said, taking a deep breath. ‘But,’ he said, bargaining, ‘I reserve the right to veto.’
She considered his offer. ‘You can haveone,’ she countered.
He narrowed his eyes, assessing her as an opposing player in this game she had created.
‘If I do this, then you will do the same ones that I pick,’ he demanded.
This time she narrowed her eyes as—he imagined—she remembered whatever it was she had written on those little pieces of paper. He held his breath, despite believing that she wouldn’t have asked him to do anything that she wouldn’t do herself.
‘Okay,’ she agreed.
Something eased in his chest. ‘Then let’s play,’ he said, reaching towards the jar.
Amelia’s hand shot out to halt him, drawing his eyes to hers. He would feel the punch to his gut for days.
‘It’s not a game,’ she said quietly.
He just about managed to stop the flinch that pulled at his body. She was right and he knew it. There needed to be trust. They needed to find some kind of accord, because he couldn’t, wouldn’t let his child grow up in an environment that remotely resembled the one he had been born into. He would make sure that their child had better.
‘I know, Amelia,’ he promised.
You are safe with me.
His words from last night echoed into his mind, his vow one that he had meant and one that he wouldn’t break.
‘So, I just...’ He dipped his hand into the jar and riffled around inside as he’d seen children do at the local village fete his father and uncle had tried to sell their horrible wine at.
The thanks in her eyes was painful to bear—that it was for such a small thing. Had he really been acting like such a monster? Swallowing, he pulled out a tear of paper and unfolded it. There in looping handwriting that belonged to Amelia was not what he had expected to read. He had been prepared for a checklist—dinner out, a film maybe. Even an art gallery.
