Page 54 of The Boss


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“Yeah, I do,” Beth snapped, instantly regretting her outburst when Lana flinched. “Sorry. I know you’re just trying to help and I know you lost your parents too, but my dad—”

“You didn’t lose both your parents. Your dad was still around.”

“No, he wasn’t. That’s why I can’t do this…” Her last words ended on a sob and she swiped a hand over her eyes, holding up her other hand to stop Lana from hugging her.

“It was like he was dead to me. He didn’t care about me once he lost Mom. I didn’t exist anymore, he loved her that much, and I could never do that to another person. I don’t want to ever love that much so I shut down when I lose them. It’s masochistic.”

“It’s life,” Lana said softly, her hand resting gently on Beth’s shoulder. “Aren’t you the one who’s always raving on about living life to the fullest, about making the most of every minute? Well, from where I’m standing, looks to me like you’re not living by your own motto. How is shutting yourself off from this amazing opportunity with a guy you really like living life to the fullest?”

“I don’t like him, that’s the problem.”

“Huh?”

“I love him.”

Beth’s admission came out on a sigh, a heartfelt, soul deep truth ripped from within. She’d suspected it for a while, probably from the first time he’d called her Fancy Feet, but she’d done her damnedest to ignore the truth, or sugar-coat it in terms like fling.

However, whichever way she looked at it, she was in love with Aidan, every impressive, delicious, inch of him.

“So let me get this straight,” Lana said. “You love him but don’t want to have the time of your life because you might lose him one day?”

I love him.

Those three little words echoed through Beth’s mind, her heart, reaching down to her soul and making her ache with the joy of it.

She loved a charming, warm, sexy guy who was offering her the world…and she’d said no.

Was she nuts? Maybe she should take a chance?

Her heart clenched at the thought, a lifetime of being cautious shadowing her emotions, whispering ‘it’s not worth the pain’.

But she was in pain now, a constant deep-seated ache she couldn’t shake no matter how much she tried to convince herself she’d made the right decision.

She loved Aidan.

It all came back to that.

Did she have the guts to confront her fear, embrace it, and take a chance on a once in a lifetime kind of love?

“Yes, I love him and no, I don’t want to acknowledge it for fear of losing him one day. Sounds a bit silly when you put it like that.”

Lana’s gaze filled with compassion. “It’s not silly, it’s how you feel. But you’re the ultimate risk taker. I just don’t want to see you cheated out of happiness when this could be the best risk you ever take.”

“As you’ve always told me, riskismy middle name,” Beth muttered, a small flame of hope quickly fanned by excitement and anticipation and a wealth of possibilities, growing to a raging inferno of optimism in a second.

She could do this.

What was worse? Not taking a chance and missing out on months, maybe years of happiness with the guy she loved, or losing him one day in the future after living life to the fullest with him by her side?

“So does that mean—”

“It means you’re the best cuz in the whole world.” Beth leaped from her chair and flung herself at Lana, squeezing her in a bear hug until they both laughed. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have some serious thinking to do.”

She left Lana shaking her head, a serene smile on her face, and raced out the door, the plane ticket making comforting crinkling noises in her back pocket with every step.

She may have doubt demons dogging her but it was time to face her fears.

She just hoped it wasn’t too late.

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