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If storms had blown through, how long ago? It must have been before the world ended unless we had the luckiest set of solar panels in the world. And how long had it taken for the well water to be okay again? If it even had been harmed. I wasn’t sure about that. I grasped for information just outside my supposed specialty to no avail. What I wouldn’t give for an Internet connection and more information right about now.
Trevor hadn’t exactly been the most forthcoming tour guide. Hell, I didn’t even know what he’d done for a living before the solar flares.
As I moved farther from the castle, I could see shop windows had been broken, and on the main strip at least some looting had taken place. It was easy enough to see the bare walls and shelves through the gaping holes in the glass.
Maybe the drawbridge of the castle had been up when they came, and it hadn’t been worth it to try to scale the walls. Maybe that was how Trevor and I had found such a livable environment amongst these modern ruins.
On one wall near an arcade, with what looked like a fortune teller’s tent, someone had spray painted something about the fortune teller being dead and her services no longer being needed. It sounded like song lyrics. I was sure it was song lyrics. I strained to try to pick out a memory of the song in my head, a melody, more lyrics, anything, but everything was a blank. Maybe it was just clever, if not morbid, graffiti. Just because it rhymed, didn’t make it a song. Maybe it was some kind of street poetry.
Many of the rides already showed signs of rust. A few of them looked as if they’d been beaten with baseball bats—some hopeless youth taking out aggression at the world for not staying the way it was supposed to, maybe? I wished they’d left the bats so I could take a few swings. It would have been cathartic.
A wooden cut out of a man welcoming people to the park had been painted over so that he looked like a monster—a ghoul or a vampire or a zombie. It was hard to tell which one they had been going for. Covering the sign in black spray paint were the words: “Abandon all hope.”
What a cheery place to live. Somehow I couldn’t imagine any version of myself that could have ever been excited about this. And if I had been, God, how bad had my living conditions been before we found this place?
As I reached the end of Main Street, the park began to branch into different themed areas. On my right was a giant vampire head, his mouth wide open to form a door. Guests were meant to walk right in between those huge fangs to get to... above his head was a sign that once lit up with individual letters. It said “unhouse”. A large F was on the ground near a cluster of wildflowers that grew in abundance throughout the park.
Not my kind of fun. Or “un” as the kids were calling it now.
Just past the fun house, haunted house, and creepy clown-themed rides and stores, were the kiddie rides. The chickens started clucking as I approached. A few of the hens sat on nests, while others pecked at the bugs and worms through large cracks in the sidewalk. A rooster gave me an aggressive stare as if to say he’d peck out my eyeballs to keep his harem intact.
I held up my hands to let him know I had no intentions toward his girls and wondered if such a gesture even translated across species. How had Trevor managed to get the eggs with that rooster lurking about? I backed away slowly until he lost interest in me and went back to eating.
“Oww, Fuck!” I gripped the side of the kiddie ride as a sharp low abdominal cramp hit me. Oh shit. My period. What was I going to do about that? Whathad Ibeen doing about that? I was too embarrassed to bring it up with Trevor. It didn’t matter if he was my husband. I didn’t know him.
I was relieved at least to have a passingly plausible explanation for my feelings of weakness. Maybe it was just hormones. And I was sure the heat and humidity weren’t helping matters.
As I wandered the park, an idea hit me, and I went in search of a ladies’ room. I shrieked when a long slinky rodent zipped past me inside the first bathroom I came to. Of course creatures would be nesting in here. But on the wall was just what I expected: one of those machines with feminine hygiene products. Fantastic.
The machines were intact, so unless someone wandering past had a bunch of quarters on them, I might be in luck. I took apart the pipe on one of the sinks and used it to break into the machine. It was a lot more difficult than I expected, especially given how the metal box on the wall was rusting out.
When it finally broke, feminine care products rained out like candy from a piñata. I gathered everything that had spilled out like I had just found a hoard of gold and continued on my way. I stopped in one of the gift shops. Looted. Almost picked clean.
Whoever had been in the park before us must have been guys or the tampons would have already been raided. Despite the shop being savaged, I found a large shopping bag behind the register. I put my bounty from the bathroom machine into the bag then went and collected everything out of the other ladies’ rooms. A few of the machines were running low or empty but most were still full.
When I got back, Trevor was in the tower reading a book. “Find anything interesting?” he asked, indicating my bag as if I’d just been out shopping or something.
“More creepy than interesting,” I said. I wasn’t willing to get into a discussion about my hoarding. I took the bag to the bathroom and stashed it under the sink and locked the bathroom door. I was right, my period had started. I quickly took care of things and went back out into the main suite where Trevor sat with a curious expression on his face.
There was no way I was talking about this directly, but I did need information. What I’d collected would last several months, but I was sure there had to be a storeroom somewhere, probably here in the castle. If it was in the castle, I was set and could worry about what happened when that ran out way in the future.
“Umm, Trevor?”
He looked up from his book. “Yes, dear?”
I wished he wouldn’t call me that, but I let it go. “So, I know we don’t have running water, but surely if there’s a stock room in the castle, we have soap and shampoo at least.”
He seemed almost disappointed that I’d figured that out. What an asshole.
“Yeah, there’s a stock room on the second floor. Do you want me to go with you?”
“No. I’ve got it, thanks,” I said.
He shrugged and went back to reading.
When I reached the second floor, I found the stock room hidden away at the end of a hallway—something I’d overlooked in my previous exploration because it was so nondescript. I let out a relieved sigh when I discovered the door was unlocked. Inside was a wondrous bounty of little hotel soaps and shampoos, towels, toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning products, and... jackpot... feminine protection. Endless boxes of pads and tampons. It was the happiest I’d been since waking up in that pirate ship. These were things that made me feel halfway civilized.
I didn’t bother relocating any of it up to the tower. It was enough that I knew it was there. And with the drawbridge coming up each night, I didn’t have to worry someone would wander in and take anything. I was, somehow disturbed Trevor hadn’t already shown me this stuff. Wouldn’t he realize how important soap and shampoo and all the rest would be to me?
