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Normally after sex, Josh and I would lead each other to his bathroom where we’d clean up before shuffling to his bed to enjoy the afterglow as amicably as possible. This time, though, I felt him stiffen behind me and a coldness settled over the two of us.
Josh stepped away, tucking himself back into his pants while I swiped at his mess with the napkin he handed me once he was composed. When I dared to look up at him, Josh offered me an indifferent smile and chastely kissed my forehead before limping to his room. His door closed with finality, leaving me to wander into my own room, shouldering a mixture of confusion and shame.
There were no murmured praises or patterns traced into my bare skin with his fingertips. No chances for me to offer to massage his knee or lighthearted jokes about how our days had gone. This time, we parted as strangers.
It seemed that my date with Santi had been Josh’s last straw and now we were officially no more than two people who shared intimacy like an event to be completed. Back when I’d met him in January, I would have been proud of myself for maintaining a boundary as best as I could while carrying on with a client, especially one like Josh.
But now that I’d gotten to know him and fallen in love with him, all I could feel was melancholy. I knew I had no one to blame but myself for the way things had turned out and as I listened to the sound of Josh whistling while he showered, I began to dread the coming months.
Chapter Thirteen
Amelia
“What’d you expect?” Natalie asked sympathetically, flipping through her patient charts in search of her next appointment. “I don’t know Josh at all, but even I could have told you that he’d be an asshole after how he treated that hospital he was at.”
I cringed at her harsh words, even though they were true. “I mean, I did go to dinner with Santiago last week, but that was after I told Josh we couldn’t really be together until after his treatment.”
Natalie rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath about how she knew this was going to happen before looking straight at me. “Ames, honey, you can’t avoid this kind of drama when you’re involved in a relationship with one of your patients.” She whispered that last part and I was grateful for her discretion, especially when she uttered an ultimatum, “you need to cut all ties with him that aren’t purely professional—his ex-wife being back in town will help with that, I think. It’ll be hard since you’re still living with him, but maybe you can treat him like a neighbor you sometimes assist with his injury.”
She had her hands spread out in front of her as though she was laying out all the possibilities for me to examine, but I didn’t need to. With a sigh, I wearily agreed. “Everything with Josh is getting too complicated and I can’t believe I let it get this far. When I first met him, I think I would have rather died than submitted to his charm and now look at me.”
I sniffed, swiping the back of my hand over my eyes to keep the tears from spilling. “I’m sitting here, crying to my sister about how unfair it is that the rich guy got to have his cake and eat it too…how could I be so stupid?”
Natalie reached across her desk, sparing a glance at the framed photo of herself and Benjamin, and smiled. “Maybe it will work out in the end, Ames. But right now, you need to put yourself first because no one else will.”
There was aching sincerity in her hazel eyes, like Natalie wished she could figure out the whole mess for me and spare me my due suffering. With a watery smile, I stood and came around to her side of the desk, pressing a kiss to the crown of her strawberry-blonde hair. “Thanks, Nat.”
Now that I had my marching orders, I crept out of Body, Heart & Mind, not wanting to face Dr. Morales after I’d had sex with another man on the same night as our date. It was July 31 and Laila Peters would not be at Josh’s mansion until August 2, giving me ample time to embark on Natalie’s advice.
A thousand emotions flew through me at the thought of reducing Josh to nothing more than a client again, and most of them were positive. For one, I wouldn’t be constantly worrying about someone finding out about us or making a mistake that would cause Josh to throw me out. And there wouldn’t be any awkwardness—I hoped—with his ex-wife if all she ever saw us doing together was working on his knee.
Our contract would expire in November, if Josh continued to excel in his treatment, and then I could move on. Maybe I would even start a real relationship with Santi if I found no other reason to stick around for Josh. I tried ignoring the intimate attachment to Josh that we’d nurtured over the past six months and a small smile graced my face at that weight being lifted.
I inhaled the summer smells of sunscreen and freshly-squeezed lemons while hailing a cab, fully intending to spend the rest of the day out and about in the city so I wouldn’t have to see Josh until tonight. After having been beholden to him for so long, I relished in the surge of independence I’d been missing since February, and planned out the rest of my day without a care in the world.
Joshua
Laila stumbled in at three in the morning, clearly attempting not to wake Amelia or me and failing miserably as she almost tripped over her suitcase. Having been jarred awake by her noise, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and threw on a robe, grimacing at the icy coldness of the floors beneath my bare feet.
“Joshie!” my ex-wife squealed in excited drunkenness, throwing her arms around me and nearly causing the both of us to collapse. “I’m home!”
“I can see that,” I murmured with a frown, removing myself from her embrace and motioning to Amelia’s room. “Be quiet or you’ll wake her up too.”
Laila rolled her reddened, sea-blue eyes and sauntered into the kitchen, sarcastically filling a glass with water from the thinnest stream possible. I mouthed my thanks at her and in the harsh lights she’d turned on while passing by me, stared at her disheveled appearance.
Very few people got to see her this way—myself and our driver—so I didn’t bother asking how she got here while I was fast asleep. But even with her blonde hair tucked haphazardly behind her ears and her angular face devoid of makeup, Laila was stunning. After not seeing her for so long, I took her in with a fresh gaze and was surprised to feel my heart flutter.
Obviously, it had been awoken from its sleep by Amelia and now I was more susceptible to Laila than before, a thought that didn’t annoy me as much as it should have. The last couple of days following the incident at the front door, Amelia had been almost cutthroat in her response to my dismissive behavior, refusing to acknowledge me unless it was during our sessions.
I couldn’t blame her, not really, because I was the one who had initiated that separation after she left for her date with Dr. Morales. However, I was only human, and I found myself missing every little thing we used to do, like reading next to each other and planting seasonal flowers in the garden.
If I were as lucky as I was in my youth, Laila might be able to fill that hole.
Almost as if she could read my mind, my ex-wife gently grasped my upper arm and mock whispered, “let’s go to bed, Joshie. I’ve been up for the past twenty hours and you know how my creativity starts to wane when I don’t get my full eight.”
I couldn’t help but smirk fondly to myself at that, remembering how, years ago, Laila would pull me back into bed with her every morning for an extra fifteen minutes of cuddling. And in my elation, I didn’t remind her that we hadn’t shared a bed in over a year and a half, too excited at the prospect of feeling a woman’s warmth in my sheets.
We huddled close to each other, Laila positioning herself carefully around my right knee even in her inebriated state, and drifted off pleasantly.
