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One early afternoon at the start of September, when the air had just begun to grow crisp and the leaves were spackled with vibrant, warm colors, I sat across from Josh on the patio outside. It was rare for me to be at his mansion for anything other than a session or at bedtime these days, but on this particular afternoon I had nothing to do. So I settled into one of their chaises and opened up a worn copy of my favorite book.
For reasons beyond my comprehension, Josh had decided to join me, plopping down into his own chair and cracking the spine on a new novel from a prospective author. And, in case I’d thought it couldn’t have gotten worse, Laila sauntered out as well in a bright red bikini, claiming, “it feels so stuffy in the house and we only have a few more days of pool weather, so I might as well take advantage of it!”
The three of us silently kept each other company with only the lilting notes of some smooth jazz Laila had put on the radio to fill the space. Every other page or so, I would glance over at Josh when Laila wasn’t looking; even though my disklike for him had largely replaced any gushy feelings I had for him, Josh was still an incredibly attractive man.
I would never admit it, but there were still nights that I’d spend with my fingers buried between my legs and my mind full of memories of him. Santiago and I had kissed for the first time a couple weeks ago and it had been nice, yet that was as far as he’d wanted to go. As sexually and mentally frustrated as I was now, it was hard to avoid Josh’s distracting features.
In my heart, I knew that if I stared for too long, those old feelings would return and I would need to give this job up, so I kept my gazes to a minimum.
Joshua
Though I did my best to hate her, Amelia still managed to look dangerously cute while stealing blushing looks at me as we read separately and Laila lounged on a pool floatie. I pretended not to notice in a show-stopping performance that would’ve won me a Tony if this were played out on stage and simply flicked through the manuscript Anthony had sent to me from one of his other friends.
But when the urge to meet her eyes became too great, I coolly lifted the manuscript higher to hide my face from Laila, and briefly peered over at Amelia. She bit her plush lips when she noticed me and her bare thighs clenched as they always did whenever her supple body wanted me but her pride wouldn’t let her voice it.
In all these weeks of subtle fighting, I hadn’t forgotten the initial lust I felt for Amelia—it was just easier to channel it into Laila, who probably thought I’d fallen back in love with her. And maybe I had, given my eagerness to be around her now more than ever.
And yet, there was an unmistakable challenge that came with Amelia, a defiance that stoked embers within me that had long lain dormant.
It would have been no trouble at all to tell her boss I’d decided to return to in-office care to avoid my past with Amelia altogether. I had considered it that night I left her panting by the front door, thinking that what we’d just done was a spectacular “last hurrah,” but then I started to think about how empty my house would be without her.
For as much as I despised her ability to move on so quickly from me, it also dared me to keep chasing after her, to move mountains to make her mine again. Her presence here was enough evidence to prove that I hadn’t been rejected yet, and though that fear was still there, my competitive nature was stronger.
Still, I would have to be careful now that Laila was back—not only because she could cause us serious problems if she found out, but also because the resurgence of my feelings for her were fatally complex. The more I thought about it as I gazed at Amelia, the clearer my conclusion became: I wanted what I couldn’t have.
Call it the mentality of a successful businessman or the mindset of a man in his forties who knows his time is waning, but that was the truth. I had seen Amelia as this young woman who I could fall desperately in love with and I continued to have some semblance of that affection for her even after she scorned me. And Laila, the first person I’d ever loved who was divorcing me, still managed to worm her way back into my heart the minute she walked back through my front door.
Looking to my left to find my phone so I could share this news with Anthony, I failed to notice how the manuscript in my hands had been involuntarily lowered to my lap, giving Laila the perfect view of me and Amelia staring at each other for the past thirty seconds.
Casting one last glance at Amelia and enjoying the way her fingers gripped her book tighter, I rose from my chair and hobbled back inside to call Anthony and get his advice.
Amelia
When Josh caught me looking at him earlier today, I’d almost bolted into his house and secluded myself in my room out of embarrassment. Weighed down by the lustful, knowing glint in his eye, I stayed where I was, letting him drink his fill after so many weeks of denial.
In the back of my mind, I knew this might alert Laila to our affair, and with Josh’s chocolate-brown irises on me, I found I really didn’t care. Was it weak to still shiver under his attention after I’d sworn him off? Was it worse if I was simply unwilling to let him go?
I’d watched his interactions with Laila from a distance on the rare occasions I was home when they were and had to suppress the bitter envy coating my tongue every time she laughed at his jokes or he winked flirtatiously at her.
Now, as we sat on the patio, I adored his attention despite my resolution, and ate it up greedily. When he got up to make a phone call, I returned to reading my book, unaware of Laila swimming over to the side of the pool to hoist herself out.
“You must have gotten bored here with no one but Josh to keep you company for all those months,” she noted abruptly, demanding my attention with the speculation in her voice.
“Not really,” I said, searching for an appropriate answer. “I make it a priority of mine to get to know my clients and Mr. Adams has been one of the more interesting people I’ve assisted with their injuries.” Trying to keep my tone clinical and slightly pious to deter Laila from asking more questions, I then smiled politely and returned to my book as though I had nothing more to say about Josh.
“Mmhmm,” his ex-wife murmured, sounding disinterested in my answer, before joining Josh in the house. I waited until she was gone to breathe out, fully aware that if she caught a whiff of a lie, Laila could tell Dr. Morales everything and I’d lose my job, Josh, all of it.
Joshua
After our small indiscretion at the pool, it seemed Amelia and I couldn’t return to snapping at each other like rabid dogs. Her remarks had less bite—“Just keep your leg straight, Mr. Adams, and stretchthis wayso you don’t hurt your back too.”
And my comments were disinterested at worst—“Oh, I didn’t know you were taking the weekend off to go see your sister. Have fun.”
It was a miracle it took Laila long enough to mention what she did at breakfast today, her icy-blue eyes tinted with meanness. “You know, Amelia, I’ve been watching you work with Josh for a while now and I think I’d be able to take over if you wanted to go on your vacation early.”
I nearly choked on my mouthful of coffee as Amelia cleared her throat, looking up like a deer in headlights from where she’d been tying her shoelaces. “Oh, Ms. Peters, I really don’t mind sticking around until the end of Mr. Adams’s contract. That’s my policy with all of my patients, anyway.”
Laila smirked mercilessly. “That’s not what I heard from Dr. Morales—he said you gave up all your previous clients to work with Josh. He must be prettyspecialif you’re willing to break that policy for him.” It was impossible to ignore what she was implying and in that moment I wanted to take Amelia in my arms to shield her from this humiliation.
