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Scowling, I shot back, “that’s real mature, Old Man.” He let that one slide with a wave of his hand and we squared off in silence for a while. Finally, I spoke. “At the beginning of all of this, I thought you were a stuck-up, rich snob who wanted to charm his way into my pants just so he could get another notch on his belt or get back at some nagging wife…sorry,ex-wife.”
Josh only stared at me so I continued, “and then it felt like things were different after that first time we slept together. For a while, I believed those ‘precious nothings’ you whispered in my ear, but then I put up that boundary and it just…stopped.”
“What’d you expect me to do?” he inquired, furrowing his brows at me.
“I-I wanted you to fight for me,” I admitted, looking everywhere else in the room but him.
Josh shook his head disappointedly, explaining, “I don’t live in your head, Amelia. You wanted me to play by your rules and I did. And I think it showed us exactly what we needed to see—this won’t work because you’re just starting to understand how the adult world works and I’m still hung up on Laila.”
I hadn’t wanted to cry earlier when Laila had threatened me but now I felt tears prick at my eyes. “So I was right,” I surmised cynically. “You didn’t really want me.”
“No, no, I do—did. There’re just too many variables to contend with right now and to be honest, I’m not even sure ifyouwantme,” Josh said. “When I told him about us, Anthony pointed out that I might have been blinded by the second chance I thought you gave me.”
He smiled sadly to himself. “I got so caught up in feeling young and in love again that I didn’t even stop and consider what your intentions were…and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.”
I interrupted him. “Well, you don’t have to decide anymore, with me, at least. I’m leaving.”
All I heard over the rushing of blood in my ears was Josh sucking in a surprised breath as I forced out, “I’m tired of being pulled back and forth. I know I was the one who said we couldn’t be more than fuck buddies, but you’re the one who’s still clearly infatuated with Laila. I can’t waste my time waiting for someone who won’t be there at the end of the line. ”
Josh stared at me, his mouth hanging open in shock, and I waited for him to make some grand, romantic gesture, to beg me to stay and promise that he’d file the divorce today. But none came. Instead he grimaced and looked away from me, muttering, “If that’s what you want, Red, then so be it.”
My muscles shook as adrenaline spiked through me and I had to fight the urge to throw something. I had given him one last chance to prove that I meant anything more to him than some carefully chosen words and Josh had failed me again. I had nothing else to say to him that wasn’t vitriol so I excused myself from his office and went to his guestroom to begin packing my things.
An hour later, Laila arrived and I had to stop myself from laughing ruefully at the predictability of her stopping by my room first before finding Josh. “Your contract with me will be terminated tomorrow,” I told her, my voice devoid of any emotion. “I’ll make sure Dr. Morales doesn’t charge you for the remaining treatment. Mr. Adams should know what to do for exercise and stretching now, so all you’ll need to do is make sure he doesn’t overextend himself, Ms. Peters.”
“I’ll see to it, Amelia,” Laila replied smugly, tapping her manicured fingers against the doorframe. “It was nice to meet you.” And then she was gone.
Unsurprisingly, I heard her talking animatedly with Josh down the hall, the two of them clearly elated that I would be leaving. With my suitcases put in order and my boxes taped, I threw myself onto the bed and tried to fall asleep in the dying light of early evening.
Joshua
“Sounds like I’ll be your new physical therapist,” Laila crowed, throwing her arms around my shoulders as I scribbled notes on the manuscript Anthony had given me. “Amelia just told me she’ll be leaving tomorrow.”
I hummed in response, too upset at myself for not finding a way to keep Amelia around while I sorted out my feelings for Laila. Logically, I knew I couldn’t have them both, but somehow it felt worse to lose Amelia in favor of my ex-wife. But, that’s the hand I’d been dealt and I wasn’t about to pull some dramatic nonsense to escalate a problem that had been tentatively solved. Even if it concerned a woman I (still) loved.
As Laila strutted around the room, triumphantly telling me all about the other half of her “good day,” which involved a lucrative meeting with her manager, I debated what I knew would be a risky move.
The egotistical, self-centered part of my brain had begun imagining what would happen if I snuck into Amelia’s room tonight to take her one last time. I knew I’d have a hard time telling her what she meant to me, but maybe by making love to her again, Amelia would see that I still cared deeply for her.
And, if all else failed, this would get her out of my system for good. I could go back to tolerating Laila with chagrined smiles and be more devoted to her than I had been in years. It wouldn’t be love—but at forty, could I even hope for that anymore?
Chapter Sixteen
Amelia
Asoftknockatmy door stirred me awake and I blinked groggily in the cool darkness of Josh’s guestroom. “Come in,” I called out hoarsely, the thousand-count sheets pooling at my waist as I moved to sit up while adjusting the straps of my tank top to protect my modesty. It was pointless, of course, to pretend like the person on the other side of the door—it could only be Josh—hadn’t seen me topless, but I couldn’t imagine being so vulnerable around him again.
Brassy hinges creaked softly as the wood door rasped against the massive rug decorating the floor and there he stood, a slight bend in his right knee that came after long days like these. Josh had his hands shoved in the pockets of his pants and my eyes followed the glint of his watch where it reflected the moonlight as he crept in. He must have noticed the way my gaze flickered to the crack in the door, assuring me, “she’s asleep…had too many celebratory cocktails.”
Anger swelled in my throat at the thought that Josh was coming in here to finish the gloating his wife had started earlier and I furiously whispered, “well then aren’t you in the wrong room, Josh? In here, there’s nothing to ‘celebrate’ except my liberation from you and your games.”
I had fallen asleep before remembering to close the cream-colored blinds hanging limply on either side of the window, framing the twinkling stars above and allowing enough light to seep in through the panes of glass to faintly illuminate most of Josh’s face. At my coarse barb, his calm features hardened and as he leaned against a bedpost, Josh exasperatedly replied, “I came in here to apologize, Red, and you won’t let me get a word in edgewise.”
Fanning my arms out in front of me as though I’d created an imaginary stage for Josh, I tersely motioned for him to say what he had to. Josh sighed, bringing his right hand out of the pocket of his slacks to scrub down his face, and began, “you probably hate me now and I guess that’s fair—I haven’t done anything lately to make you feel otherwise. But I came in here hoping that we could at least end this on friendly terms.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “And how do you propose we do that? Do I need to remind you that Laila is just down the hall? Isn’t she supposed to be the one you’re making up with?”
My flurry of questions made Josh’s head tip to the side in contemplation for a minute and then he answered firmly, “you and Laila are the only women I’ve ever felt strongly for. So even though you’ll be leaving tomorrow, it’s important to me that you know that. And Laila…Laila probably assumes she’s won everything already, including me.”
