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“I thought you were going out tonight,” Benjamin said, pausing in his scrubbing of the dinner dishes to glance over at me as I lounged on the couch.
Natalie looked up from her computer, adding, “Didn’t I give you the number of Benny’s friend, Xavier? Maybe you should call him up…he seemed nice.” Her tone was insistent and motherly and I groaned as I considered what I should tell them.
The truth was, I didn’t have the heart to remind them that I’d gone out with Benjamin’s friend last Friday. After cheap takeout, he had suggested that I come upstairs with him for a “nightcap,” a word I’d only heard guys use when they were trying to sound illustrious and important.
Out of boredom, I had gone with him and after surviving a shot of single-malt whisky, we’d fumbled our way into his bedroom where Xavier had spent all of five minutes thrusting haphazardly into me before finishing. I’d answered the obligatory, “Was it good for you too?” question and bolted, glad to be free of him.
“I just want to have an easy night in,” I finally lied, “but I can go out if you guys want the apartment to yourselves for a while.” After living with Natalie and Benjamin for a few months, I’d become accustomed to seeing myself out when they hadn’t spent much time together during the workweek.
“We were actually thinking of going to that bar on the corner later,” Natalie answered, sharing a shy smile with her husband. “I don’t mean to nag or anything, honey. I just want to make sure that you’re getting out there and meeting people.”
“And getting closer to getting off our couch,” Benjamin teased without a hint of meanness.
Throwing one arm over the back of the couch to hoist myself up so I could glare playfully at him while sticking my tongue out, I sassed back while looking at my sister, “Nat, I think it’s time for a divorce. This man is trying to kick me out of our apartment.”
Natalie giggled and Benjamin laughed and I rolled my eyes mirthfully at their reactions. “Besides,” I continued after slumping back into the worn cushions, “I’ve met plenty of guys…probably all of the eligible ones within a thirty-mile radius. None of them pique my interest is all.”
“Not even Xavier?” Benjamin asked, folding the dish towel and hanging it back on the rack.
I heaved myself back up into their eyeline and tried for a half-hearted smile. “No, not really. Sorry, Benji.”
Natalie clacked away at her keyboard and her husband replied with a two-fingered salute. “Duly noted, Captain.”
Their attempts to set me up with their friends and acquaintances were sweet, especially when they genuinely took my feedback into account, but I knew I had to find the right guy on my own, if he even existed. I didn’t think Natalie and Benjamin would be all that jazzed about hooking me up with the sort of guy I pictured while alone in my bed late at night.
In those, sweat-slicked midnight hours, the man I pictured had kind, brown eyes and broad shoulders I could cling to in the heat of passion. He’d have a certain authoritarian air to him that he’d use to care for me, and a softness I would slowly tease out. Unlike the boys I’d gone on dates with, his hands would wander with purpose and his naked hunger would carry a fierceness to match my own.
In my experience, this guy didn’t run in the same circles I did, but that didn’t stop me from crying out for this nameless figure in the privacy of evening shadows.
The clumsy clacking of Benjamin looking for his and Natalie’s shoes jarred me from my thoughts and I blearily stood. “Lemme know if you need someone to pick you up,” I offered, reaching out to accept their hugs as my sister and her husband headed toward the door, eager to spice up what was left of their Friday night.
“We will,” Natalie promised, kissing my cheek. “Try not to have too much fun without us, Ames.”
“I could never,” I said sarcastically, dismissing her quip with a wave of my hand. “Have a nice night!”
They bid me the same and bustled themselves out the door, leaving me to lock it behind them. Silence filled the apartment as I considered how to spend the rest ofmyFriday night. After a few minutes of deliberation and indecision, I decided to put a movie on our TV and fall asleep on the couch so that I could spring into action more quickly if Natalie called.
Carelessly, I picked a random romance movie and settled in, grabbing my phone to scroll through the internet while the movie played in the background. About halfway through, I felt my eyes grow heavy and the elbow that was keeping me upright eventually slipped, prompting me to curl into the blanket draped over me as I fell asleep.
In my semi-wakeful state, I had a dream carried by the sounds of tantric drums and sultry violins from the TV still on at a low volume. Amidst their alluring beat, I found myself in the arms of the man I’d been searching for, tipping my head back as he laid claiming marks along the skin of my neck. I laughed wantonly at the scratch of his stubble and the bruising grip of his fingertips where they dug firmly into my waist. His smell, masculine and woody, filled my senses intoxicatingly.
Unlike Xavier and Shawn and Demetri and all the others, this man lit scorching paths of pleasure in my veins and as I descended further into sleep, the small fires became roaring flames.
Chapter Three
Joshua
I breathed in deeply, feeling the crystalized air enter my lungs and jolt my system awake as I surveyed the ski slope stretching up into the sky above me. There were other early risers like me who had already ascended the trails powdered with fluffy snow that had just stopped falling an hour or two before. I tucked my chilled nose back beneath my wool scarf and slid over to the lift to take a seat.
There was nothing quite as relaxing as gliding down the slopes at a leisurely pace to admire the frosted pines and light-gray skies that were slowly giving way to the sun’s rays. As I began to form a cycle of skiing down and immediately riding the lift back up, I let my mind drift to the divorce.
The fact that Laila and I were still sharing the house confused me. Originally, she had been so set on leaving that she’d demanded I ask Chris Thompson to draw up the papers immediately. But once they were in our possession and the initial details had been discussed, we both found ourselves dragging out the complete filing even after our documents were signed.
For my part, I knew I was secretly dreading being a bachelor again after having gotten so used to at least having someone I could call my “wife” at corporate events and on major holidays. Even if we were mostly able to keep our divorce from total scrutiny, the press would still have a field day proclaiming me as newly-single, which would draw the attention of all kinds of women.
With Laila, all I had to worry about was that she never caused any scandals, but with these strangers who were about to start breaking down my door, there could be a variety of concerns to handle. I supposed, as I perched on the black leather seat and rested my arms over my poles in my lap, that I was afraid of change.
Here I was, a man of forty, who had somehow become so ingrained in his ways that he wasn’t worried about his wife not loving him anymore or the settlements from the divorce but rather the possibility of having a new person in his life.
