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“There’s nothing north, Roan.”
“Maybe. Maybe not,” I respond, still sore from her deception last night.
Tess has been my friend since her first visit to the palace, but it has been eight years since I’ve seen her. I still feel the pull of friendship, but it has faded into a ghost of what it once was. It would be easy to remove the veil muting who we used to be to one another, letting the bold pigments of our relationship come into view once again. But now isn’t the time for renewing my platonic affection. Not with the urgency of Lena gnawing through my mind.
I move to walk around her.
She reaches for my arm, gently stopping me before I pass. “I realize it has been a while, and people change. But the boy I knew, the one who couldn’t wait to see his family each summer and talked of nothing but a future in Port Riga— what is he doing as Captain of the Guard?” Her eyes search me, but I don’t meet her gaze.
“I know you were there when Evander passed, and I don’t pretend to know what that was like. But don’t forget, Roan. It’s ok to want things. To keep living. It’s ok to pave your own way. His family won’t break without you.”
I tense at her words. “They are already broken, because of me,” I whisper.
“Why are you punishing yourself? It wasn’t your fault Evander died. Roan, look at me,” she guides my chin with her slender fingers until I’m staring into her dark eyes. “It’s ok if you want a life outside the palace. If you want to go home.”
Her words dig at a wound, one I didn’t expect to have to acknowledge this morning. One I’ve become a master at ignoring.
I can only answer her with two words, “Goodbye, Tess.”
She doesn’t stop me this time as I move past her.
Once I come back with a few slices of bacon, Aiden and Otto need no more convincing to get up and moving.
I try not to think of Tamen's words— of how the Crane's helped transport Lena secretly through Fort Lowsan, of overthrowing the throne, and therefore, King Cassus. My heart throbs in my chest, my hands shaking if I give my mind over to what all of this could mean. People were conspiring against the Crown, and not even a whiff of it ever reached my ears. I'm Captain of the Guard. And this treason, apparently years in the making, was going on under my nose. Obviously taking Lena had something to do with their plans, but what it all means still isn't clear.
I should go to the Crane's and demand to speak to their family. But after killing all those men, cousins and fathers and brothers, they will put up a fight. A fight I don't have time to try and win. The longer we wait, the further away Lena becomes. She is my number one priority.
We pack up and meet Ari at the stables, preparing our horses and giving out last orders and instructions.
“You should hit the sea before we hit Thenstra. If there are no leads or traces of the princess, head up to the Prythan Mountain Pass,” I tell the two men. “It will take us almost twice as long to trek through the mountains than you to the sea. If we find her and begin back, we should meet up with you quickly, and we can return together.”
“And if we find the princess?” Aiden asks.
“If you find her, then head back immediately and send word to the Santanas. At that point the princess should be home safely, and it won’t matter that they know. If we don’t find her within the month, we will return to Fort Lowsan.”
Tess walks out from the kitchens to hand Ari a bag and pile of clothes while mumbling a few instructions to her. The girl’s face is wild as Tess talks, looking like she wants to refuse her gift. But the lure of the soft fabric beneath her fingers is too much to push away.
Ari loads the clothes in her saddle bag before mounting, handing the bag of what I assume to be food to Aiden to put in his. Tess turns her head toward me, giving me one last nod of farewell. My stomach churns as I think of how I left things with her, but I brush past it. There will be time later to make it right.
“Be safe my friends,” I finish, grasping Aiden’s hand firmly and patting Otto’s shoulder.
“And you, Captain.” It’s still strange to hear Otto call me that, when it seems like only a few months ago I was his subordinate. I turn to leave, but he keeps my hand gripped firmly in his.
Startled, I turn back. “That girl is smart. I know you don’t fancy each other. But Ari might just surprise you if you let her,” Otto says.
I glance at the thief, knowing already that he’s right. I may never admit it out loud, but Lady Margaret knew what she was doing when she demanded the girl come along.
Her and Tess are laughing, something Aiden said setting off the shimmering noise. Aiden has a light-hearted countenance, and he isn’t bad to look at. He’s a good man, deserving of a good woman. And the more I get to know Ari, the more I would describe her as a good woman. Seeing him interact with the girl, making her laugh— it would make sense, the two of them.
A subtle pain springs low in my gut.
I’m suddenly very happy that Aiden will be splitting off today.
27
Princess Lena
“Whereareyoutakingme?” I ask Parker Aldren.
