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Prologue
Finnegan
My name is Finnegan Gil,and I should be dead.
Before you continue, be warned. This isn’t a love story. It’s the beginning of a tragedy, the end of what could’ve been a happily ever after, and the end of me.
Who am I?
Some people think I’m a ghost.
Many fear me.
I’m a shadow.
A man who moves in an underground world not many know about. People would be trembling if they knew it existed.
Some would condemn me to life in hell if they knew what I’ve done. And there are two people who think I have a soul, but I don’t. They should leave me.
I don’t deserve a future.
I can’t seem to remember my past.
And I live a fucked-up present.
ChapterOne
Piper
March 3rd
Anxiety is a form of pain.
Pain no one sees but paralyzes many of us.
There are books, apps, and exercises claiming to help control the worst enemy of our minds, anxiety.
So far, I’ve tried everything to calm the fuck down, but it’s impossible. Archer, my partner in crime, best friend, and soulmate, has been gone for two months.
He’s been off the grid for two long, painful months.
No one knows if he’s okay—not even his boss—and that’s how it’ll remain for another four months. He’s on a special mission with my cousin. It’s not their first rodeo, and they’re capable.
I should be calm and trust Archer. After all, this is what he does best. It’s a big part of his life. The logical side of my brain understands but being away from him for so long is becoming unbearable.
Trying to live without him by my side is wearing me down. It sounds ridiculous and somehow codependent. It’s not.
Archer St. James and I have been together since he was four and I was three. First, as friends. As teenagers, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We were engaged by the age of eighteen and secretly married when he turned twenty-one.
My hand immediately touches the platinum chain hanging on my neck. It holds our wedding rings. I carry both close to my heart until we’re ready to marry in front of everyone. Only two people witnessed the ceremony, but they were so drunk they don’t remember anything.
The point is that Archer has been my constant for so long that this separation is more strenuous than either of us could’ve predicted. I should try therapy or some new coping mechanism to deal with his absence.
“Pull yourself together, Piper!”
Instead of following my orders, I sneak back into my unmade bed and bury myself under the covers. The scent of his cologne is fading again. I might have to change the sheets and spray a little more so I can pretend he’s hugging me.
“Stop being so extra.” I shake my head at my ridiculousness.
