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When I enter the open space, I spot not only Sage but Tucker’s friends Zeke, Ethan, Alex, and Hannah.
“Oh, we have a full house.” I twist my mouth, wanting to run back to the car and beg my brother to take me back.
“It’s good to see you,” Zeke says, walking toward me and giving me a hug. “How are you dealing?”
He’s the first person that switches the question slightly. They understand me more than anyone since they dealt with the loss of Rocco not long ago. This isn’t exactly the same, but pretty close.
“Managing,” I mumble.
“I’m not an expert,” Zeke says, shrugging a shoulder. “But if you need some company, call me. I don’t like that you’re avoiding everyone.”
“It’s hard.”
Ethan extends his arms and takes me into a big hug. “It’s too fucking hard,” he agrees. “I have a slight idea of what you’re going through. Hold on to us, your family. It’ll get a little easier. Plus, I have faith that they’ll find him.”
He looks up at Zeke, who nods and smiles at him. As if they lost someone but finally found him. I’m curious, but maybe it’s better if I skip deep conversations tonight.
I simply answer with the usual, “I’m taking it one day at a time.”
This reunion is unexpected. Tucker’s friends have been part of my family since they were sixteen. They’re like my big sister and brothers.
“Dinner is almost ready,” Sage says. “Why don’t you guys set up the table? Mae is starving.”
I raise my hand. “I get to sit next to her.”
Sage grins. “Sure, she’s having chicken liver with spinach. It’s going to be interesting to watch you feed her.”
Tuck and I scrunch our noses. “Why do you torture your child?”
If there’s something Tuck and I have in common, it’s that we hate vegetables. Hate them. Well, unless it’s zucchini bread. Then, I’ll eat it.
“You two are just a couple of babies.” Sage rolls her eyes.
After dinner,I help with Mae’s bedtime. Once she’s asleep, I realize everyone is gone. While Tucker is cleaning the kitchen, Sage invites me to the patio. I bring out two bottles of wine and glasses.
If I’m going to have to chat with her, I’d rather do it with a buzz. It’s not that I don’t like her. In fact, I adore Sage. She’s the best thing that’s happened to my brother. Well, she and Mae. However, I have the feeling she’s going to bring Archer into the conversation, and I don’t know if I’m ready to handle it.
Once I hand her a glass of wine, she says, “It’s exhausting, isn’t it?”
“No, I like to help you with the bedtime routine.” I take a sip of my chardonnay. “I imagine it’s a lot when you get to do it every day.”
“Bedtime is fun, but that’s not what I meant. I adore Zeke and Ethan. They didn’t butt into your life too much. However, I imagine that, like them, many people keep asking you how you are and offering unsolicited advice about Archer.”
I nod. “It’s okay.”
Before Rocco died from an overdose, Sage’s sister died during childbirth. The tragedy my brother, his wife, and their friends faced took a toll on all of them. Maybe that’s why Tucker brought me here today. His friends understand me more than the rest of the world.
“Does it get better?” I dare to ask. “It’s not the same, but waiting for any news is dreadful. Every time my uncle texts me, I hold my breath. He’s checking on me, but I always think he’s about to give me bad news.”
She shrugs. “It hasn’t been long since we lost Sienna and Rocco. I don’t hurt as much as I did when she died, but there are times when I still break down because I miss her.”
“I just need to find him.”
“But what if he’s not out there? You can’t put your life on hold. I’m not saying to stop searching for him, but…” She clears her throat. “If they don’t find Archer, I’ll be here for you, okay?”
Why can’t they understand that he’s alive? My soul and my heart still feel him. He’ll come back to me. I know it. I just don’t know when that’s going to happen.
“I might be wrong,” Sage mumbles.
