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“What?” Victoria says, all feigned innocence. “I’m sure there’s a science geek here somewhere Fish Girl can hook up with.”
Lisa grips my shoulder and leads me a few feet from the group. “I’m really sorry, Caroline… I think maybe he’s really drunk or something?” And when I still can’t formulate a response, she says, “Or maybe they’re just talking. I mean… he seems like he’s really into you.”
She’s right. They’re probably just talking. Scarr and Seb are just really good friends.
But I can’t help it: my brain is on high alert, locking onto worst case scenarios whether I like it or not. And of course, I start thinking about that first night Seb and I hung out and how he went for a drive right afterwards alone with Scarlett. And the time in the woods when she was in his arms and his fly was open. And yes, he had explanations for both those times… but still—what if I’m wrong? What if I’m just a sucker for believing those were just inconvenient, isolated occurrences? It isn’t a secret that Seb Murdoch has never had a long-term relationship. I know he used to hook up at parties sometimes. Probably more than I’m even aware of.
And it is weird, isn’t it; that he’s ignored me this entire party? The night we’ve been talking about so much these past few weeks and sounded like we’d be celebrating together. Among a pile of other people too, obviously. But certainly not on separate sides of the room all evening. Inseparaterooms, apparently. Because maybe Seb’s celebrating right now in a whole different way. With Scarlett.
I feel like I have no control over my emotions. As if I might start crying right here, in Xavier Rockwell’s stupid tacky Smoking Room, surrounded by all the cool kids I’ve hated for years, who clearly know Sebastian Murdoch way better than I do.
I glance around, almost in a sort of fog. “Uh, I guess I’m gonna go see if…” my voice trails off.
“You want me to come with you?” Lisa asks.
“No. Thank you. I’m okay.”
She asks for my phone, and in my daze, I fish it from my purse and hand it to her. She punches something in then hands it back to me.
“Here. I put my number in there. So you can text or call me, okay? If you need to talk or anything.”
And even now, I am faced with the fact that these people are not all horrible. There’s no denying they are not all the shallow jerks I thought they were.
Only now I’m worried that Sebastian Murdoch might not be the sweet, caring guy I thought he was. And that thought hits me harder than any of the other revelations I’ve faced these past few weeks. Because that one hurts the most.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Seb
“Ineedtotalkto you in private.”
Scarr pulls me into the same spare room Caro and I hid out in the night of her first party. The whole room tilts on its axis for a second and I sway, then stumble to keep my balance. Scarr’s arm snaps out to steady me and she keeps a grip on the hem of my T-shirt as she drags me into the room. Not sure how she thinks that’s gonna keep me upright if I start to go down, but whatever.
I turn and lean against the bed. “What’s up? Are you o—”
“You’re amess,Seb,” she hisses. “What the hell?”
I reel back. “What? What are you even talking about?”
“Look at you. You can’t even walk straight. And I know you haven’t been drinking.” She leans right in, her eyes narrowing. “This thing with you—whatever is going on with your brain and stuff, it’s out of hand. You need to tell your parents.”
Holy freakin’ ambush attack.
I fumble to come up with a response, stunned by her sudden and hella vicious onslaught. She isn’t wrong. I’ve been a mess since the last half hour of the game tonight.
Hell, I’ve been a mess for months.
“I’m telling my folks this weekend.”
She doesn’t look like she believes me. “Have you told Caroline, at least?”
I avoid meeting her gaze when I admit I haven’t. But Scarr knew what my plan was all along. She knew I couldn’t tell anyone until I saw this championship through. Ineededthis win. Which, yeah, isn’t feeling like much of a win right now.
“I’m gonna tell her tomorrow,” I mumble, shoving my hands in my pockets, while my thumb still taps away against my thigh like a cracked-up woodpecker.
My answer earns me another eye roll. “You should have told her before. She’s your freakin’ girlfriend,Seb.” She lets out a long sigh and I can see her shoulders un-tense a bit, at least. She sits on the bed and looks up at me. “I get you were hanging on until after the championship. And you’re right—she probably would have put your needs before a football trophy… But that’s exactly why you should have told her. Because Caroline seems like the kind of girl who would do the right thing and put an end to this bullshit.”
I don’t say anything… I can’t. Because she’s right.
