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He took a sip, then looked back up at me. “I started doing it after the first night I saw you again, actually.”
“Way before we were dating,” I said.
“Yeah. I wanted to make something you’d love.”
“That might be the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard,” I said. “Certainly the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
He waved a hand through the air. “Beer’s my thing. It’s no big deal.”
“You,” I said, reaching out and squeezing his hip. “You had a crush on me before you even knew it, didn’t you?”
“Shut up,” Rush said. “Also yes. Probably. Definitely.”
I felt like I was bubbling over with affection for him that I wasn’t going to be able to contain.
I was about to say something to him that really should wait, but I knew I wasn’t going to force myself to wait, either. Because nothing that Rush and I did followed the rules. We were making our own way, and I wasn’t going to lie to him.
I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. “You remember when you said there was a chance that someone, maybe, could fall in love with you?” I said, leaning my forehead against his.
“Oh, God,” Rush said, reaching out to grip my arms.
I nuzzled against the spot below his ear. “I think there’s more than a chance. I think it’s inevitable, actually. And happening right fucking now.”
My heart was pounding.
“Fuck,” he whispered, clutching me closer. “Is this how it feels? Falling in love?”
A jolt of excitement rolled through me hearing those words coming from him. “What?” I asked, kissing him on his jaw, his cheek, and then his forehead. “Like the best thing ever?”
“Yes,” he said. “And the scariest. Like, really, really scared at the idea that I’d ever have to be without you?”
I sighed against him, catching him in another kiss. “I’m scared too, you know,” I said. “Always have been.”
He hummed. “It’s just worth the risk.”
“Sure as hell is for me,” I said.
“Well, good, then,” he told me, leaning back and looking me in the eyes. “Because I’ve known you for my whole life, and I’m not afraid to say it. I really do fucking love you, Shawn.”
I puffed out a breath. “I love you, too.”
“Holy hell,” he said, his eyes wide. “You know I’ve never said that to someone? I mean, I’ve said it to friends and family and dogs and cats and all of the usual suspects—hell, I think I said it to a cute turtle, once. But never to a partner.”
I snorted. “I’m glad you love me as much as a turtle, Rush.”
That got a laugh out of him. He tugged me in close again, holding me like he was afraid I’d disappear right here and now. “I love you a whole lot more than that cute turtle. Promise.”
“Happy to hear it.”
He was running his hands through my hair, looking at me like I was something impossible. “Christ,” he said. “Can my body just be attached to yours? Forever? Skin on skin? I think I’d be okay with that.”
“I don’t know how we’re going to complete your home renovation if we’re attached, but sure,” I said.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “I can’t believe you just took my I Love You Virginity.”
I cracked up, rolling my eyes. “I can’t believe it’s even a big deal to you. I’m happy that it is.”
He leaned in again, hugging me and gently rocking back and forth. “A lot of things that have never been a big deal or small deal or any deal at all… now they are.”
“I thought it was going to freak you out if I said it,” I told him.
“It did,” he said. “In a good way.”
“I figured you’d be halfway to the airport heading back to San Francisco by now.”
He hummed gently. “I think you’ve got me here for good now, Shawn,” he said. “You’re going to get real sick of me.”
“Good. Now kiss me again.”
“Boss?” we heard a voice come from past the tanks. Jax appeared a moment later, with a slightly confused look on his face. “There’s a guy at the bar asking for you. I think I’ve seen him before. He seems like he’s already really sloshed, dude. Said something about dry stacks for a retaining wall, but also something about… um… a daisy tattoo?”
I gave Rush one last squeeze before letting him go. “I think we both know who that is, unfortunately,” I said, turning to Jax.
“Has Charlie been thinking about getting a tattoo, or something?”
I sighed. “Jim had a tattoo of a daisy. Apparently Charlie hooked up with a different guy last night, trying to forget about Jim, and then it turned out this guy also had a daisy tattoo on his shoulder blade. Charlie tried to ignore it, but then he accidentally called the guy Jim during sex, and it didn’t end well. He was texting me about it this morning and he seemed to have laughed it off, but…”
