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“Sounds good,” Braxton says, grabbing his guitar.
“I’m down,” Declan agrees.
Slowly, I walk over to the drums, immediately recognizing them as my own and not the studio’s.
“We figured you’d want your own,” Camden says, sounding unsure.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
Pulling my sticks out of my back pocket, I sit behind my kit and take a moment to get a feel for them. It’s been a long-ass time since I’ve played, but the moment my foot presses the pedal and my sticks hit the drums, it feels as though the broken parts of me have been sewn together. I’m not perfect—never will be—but as we come together as a band for the first time in almost two years, I feel whole again.
“Fuck yes,” Camden says when the song comes to a close. “This is going to be one helluva comeback album.”
His words hit in the pit of my stomach. Had I not fucked up, there wouldn’t need to be a damn comeback album.
As if the guys know exactly what I’m thinking, Declan says, “Don’t go there. We all needed this break. Camden was busy having kids, and Braxton and I both got married. Kendall and I had twins. I would’ve wanted time at home with them anyway. We’d been hitting it hard for years, and all of us needed a break. This isn’t on you.”
Knowing they’ll only argue if I point out that an almost two-year break wasn’t what anyone intended, I simply nod, once again thankful that my friends have my back. They might not blame me, but I blame myself, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this next album is the best one yet.
We’re about to take it from the top when my phone goes off with a text from Kaylee: When’s the last time you spoke to Sadie?
Me: Not since shit ended between us… Why?
I never told anyone what went down between us. Declan kind of knows since he was there the morning after—and I’m sure he’s smart enough to put the pieces together—but he’s never brought it up, and I know he wouldn’t talk about it with anyone.
A picture comes through, along with a question: Is this her?
I zoom in on it and find myself staring at a smiling Sadie. Her red hair is up in a messy bun, and her eyes are bright, filled with happiness. My heart lurches in my chest at how much I’ve missed her. Even being as fucked up as I was back then, she still crawled into the crevices of my broken self and embedded herself under my skin. In the short time we spent together, I was reminded of what it was like to have someone to talk to, to share shit with. Most days were bad, so fucking bad, but some days were good.
I close my eyes, recalling how she would look at me and smile every once in a while. It was a sad as fuck smile but still filled with hope and promises of tomorrow. At the time, I wasn’t capable of either one, but she was, and seeing how happy she looks now… While I hate the way I hurt her, I know I did the right thing for her.
Another picture comes through, this one of her with her head thrown back in a laugh. Fuck, she’s beautiful. What I wouldn’t give to hear her laughing. She will forever be the woman who got away.
Just as I’m about to confirm that the woman in the pictures is, in fact, Sadie, a third picture comes through that has me freezing in place. A little girl with curly red hair. She’s standing next to Sadie, both of them smiling, as Sadie points at something in the distance. The little girl can’t be more than a year old, which doesn’t make sense since Sadie lost her son, unborn daughter, and husband, leaving her with no one.
“What’s going on?” Declan asks.
“How old does she look to you?” I show him the picture.
“Is that Sadie?”
“Yeah. How old is the little girl?”
Camden walks over and glances over my shoulder. “Maybe ten months old, give or take…”
I do the math in my head. The number of months she’d have been pregnant. How long it’s been since I’ve last seen her… That would make the baby roughly eight months. It’s possible she met someone after me, but there’s also the possibility that—
“Oh, shit,” Declan murmurs, speaking my thought out loud. “Is she yours?”
I try to remember if we used protection, but I can’t recall ever doing so. I never thought about condoms or if she was on birth control. I was too busy chasing my next high and getting lost in her.
“I don’t know,” I tell him, “but I’m about to find out.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
SADIE
Today is Vincent’s birthday—he would’ve been thirty-two years old. It’s been eighteen months since I’ve visited my family. When I decided to move to Virginia to start fresh, I never planned to stay away as long as I did. But then I found out I was pregnant and then gave birth, and with every step forward, I couldn’t bring myself to go backward… back to the cemetery where my family was buried, back to the heartache I endured. Back to where I left Gage and the jagged pieces of what was left of my heart.
