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If only I could scrub the cemetery dirt from beneath my nails. I’ll never have a normal life as Claudia. But for tonight, I’m happy to wear Mackenzie’s skin.
We drink and laugh and party while we wait for our ride to get here. Noah and George argue about some film they both like, while Isaac and Gabriel choose music for us to dance to. George takes a million pictures with my phone before tossing it back to me. I can’t stop looking at the drop of crimson on my finger and the crystal shards on my breast. I tell myself tonight is perfect.
But it’s not.
It’s incomplete.
I peer down at my phone, my finger hovering over Eli’s number. My fingers have a mind of their own. They type a short message, and before I know what I’ve done, I hit send.
I miss you.
It’s the truth. The most true thing I’ve said to Eli since I met him. I’ve been hoping he’d call after Noah gave him the diary page, and then hating myself for my hope. I know it’s pointless, but I can’t let things stand between us without at least telling him how I feel. I owe him that.
The message bar comes up. SEEN. I stare at the screen until the words blur together. There’s no reply. I slide my phone into my bra and turn toward the windows just as Gabriel snaps a picture. Noah catches me and spins me under his arm, and between his dark smile and Gabriel singing a drinking song about hating the Irish, and George and Isaac staring adorkably into each other’s eyes, and Eli not being here, I feel raw and strange and untethered.
“This is your night,” Noah whispers, touching his lips to my forehead. His fingers stroke fire down my bare arms, threatening to undo me completely.
My night. My right. But not truly mine. Only by wearing Mackenzie’s skin can Claudia August’s dreams come true.
“Our ride’s here,” Gabriel announces. He tugs me to the door. That giddy smile of his drags me out of the strange dark place I’d spiraled into. “Wait until you see this.”
Sitting on the road in front of the house is a 1928 Cadillac 341A sedan – the car Al Capone used to drive around in. This was a perfect replica, right down to the armored plating on the sides.
I turn to Gabe in amazement. “You are ridiculous.”
“It seemed appropriate,” Gabriel grins. “Look, there’s even an authentic-looking bullet-hole in the rear window.”
Gabriel climbs up front with the driver, while George, Noah, Isaac, and I squeeze in the back. The car drives us around the city while Gabriel pops a Champagne bottle and sloshes it all over us trying to get it into our glasses. George turns the music up, and she and Gabe and Isaac get into a heated battle about their favorite underground LA bands while the city speeds past the windows in a blur of light and color.
I lean back into Noah’s arms and wonder if this is what being a normal teenager feels like. It feels pretty sweet.
Then the car pulls up outside the Harrington Hills Country Club and Antony yanks the door open. I can see the outline of his holster through his suit, and I know I’ll never get the chance to be normal.
“Satan save me from teenagers,” he hisses as he ushers us along the lantern-lined walkway into the club.
“I thought you were happy about this gig.” I grin. “All that unfettered cleavage…”
“Don’t you start,” he growls. “I’ve been groped so many times already tonight that I’m thinking of lodging a sexual harassment suit.”
“What can I say? Ladies love a man in a suit.” Antony looks every bit like a future Emerald Beach housewife’s wet dream in his dark suit and blue tie that matches his dangerous eyes. If he wasn’t my cousin I’d be all over… ew, no, it’s too gross to think about—
“Save a dance for me, Mr. Jones.” Cleo blows him a kiss as she and her minions slither out to the open courtyard. Antony looks petrified, and I burst out laughing.
I hold out my arms, and Noah and Gabriel take one each. Antony throws open the ballroom doors, and I step into an underwater wonderland.
The theme is ‘Under the Sea.’ Gabriel hooked the dance committee up with the owners of Midnight Grotto so he could score extra homecoming king points. The ballroom has been transformed into a mini version of the club, complete with bobbing lanterns, shimmering lighting, a shell-encrusted photo booth, and towering coral sculptures as table centerpieces. We move through the dance floor as smoke curls around us and men dressed as Poseidon in loincloths offer shimmering emerald drinks and tiny fish cakes skewered on pitchforks.
Under the bobbing lights, the faceless terrors that are my classmates have been reborn as sea creatures – nymphs and ocean gods, pirates and sirens and water spirits and… Chad is dressed in a giant, fluffy, hammerhead shark costume. A DJ on stage plays annoying house music, but on the stage behind I can see a band setting up.
“The music is terrible.” George’s cheeks glow with happiness. She leans in close to Isaac, and he looks at her like he’s the luckiest guy in the room. I hope they name their firstborn daughter Mackenzie in my honor.
I spy Eli immediately in the middle of a big group of his friends. He looks insanely good in a dark grey suit that’s cut to show off his lean muscle. Daphne sashays up to him in a slinky designer dress with the fabric folded over her breasts to look like stylized conch shells. She whispers something in Eli’s ear and places a necklace of shells over his shoulders. He searches the room until his blue eyes meet mine.
The whole room disappears. It’s just me and Eli, and the vast ocean of lies between us.
I’m the first to turn away. I can’t bear reading his pain anymore. It feels intrusive – like I’m hunting around in his private things. His pain doesn’t belong to me. I thought giving him that diary page would help him see how important he was to Mackenzie, how much she needed him. I know that’s all he ever wanted – to protect her and be part of her life. I want to give him a piece of her for every piece I’ve destroyed.
I shouldn’t have sent him that text. He holds my life in his hands and I don’t even care. I should be trying to convince him not to reveal me as a fraud, but all I want is to see the light in his eyes again.
