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Claudia.
Mine.
Well, mine and Noah’s and Gabriel’s. But honestly, she’s too much for me alone. She needs Noah’s cruelty and Gabriel’s ability to cast the secrets of the world into brilliant light. I don’t need to compete with them – I know what I am to her. She’s barely let go of my hand since we got back from the ranch. The first few days, even walking to the bathroom had her breaking out in a cold sweat. It’s me she clings to in those moments, me who she allows to see her scared and vulnerable.
I’ve been fixated on Mackenzie for so many years because the bad parts of her disappeared when she did. She’s someone I felt I could save, and that desire to be needed drove out all the terrible things she did to me and created a version of her that never existed. It was easy to love her when she wasn’t here. Ever since that private investigator ghosted me, I’ve been flailing for a next step.
When Claudia walked into Stonehurst Prep, I thought I’d found what I needed. Only, now I have something a hundred times better.
And now, now Mackenzie Malloy chooses to walk back into our lives, guns blazing.
I spent my whole life protecting her. I’ve been a ghost of myself these last four years looking for her, and she shot at me.
I can’t help but feel it’s personal.
I draw up some reserve of bravado from within and march up the steps. I press my thumb to the electronic pad. The door swings open. I pause on the threshold, listening. No footsteps on the marble, no high-pitched trill of my mom’s disapproving voice. I hear the faint sound of music from somewhere deeper in the house. They’re home, but they’re not rushing to roll out the welcome wagon.
Good. I don’t care if I never see either of them again.
In my room, I throw clothes, schoolbooks, my shaving supplies, and my gym gear into duffel bags. I pause at my desk, my fingers hovering over the stack of college brochures. On top of them is the Disneyland photobook strip. Mackenzie’s face smiles up at me from the past.
A fist clenches around my heart.
With a swipe of my hand, I shove the entire stack off the edge of the desk. The papers drop into the wastepaper bin with a THWACK.
I heave the bags over my shoulder and stumble into the hall. If my mother has noticed the racket, she doesn’t acknowledge it – I can hear her singing as she pounds away on the treadmill in the gym.
My fingers close around the front door handle. Almost free. Almost—
“Going somewhere, son?”
I whirl around. Nero stands at the bottom of the staircase, leaning against the ornately-carved balustrade. My heart pounds. Where did he come from? For a big guy, he moves like a ghost.
“I’m not your son.” I meant it to sound petulant – something Noah would say to his father. But petulant isn’t my scene. Instead, I come across as hesitant, unsure, like I’m asking Nero for confirmation.
He smiles that brilliant smile at me, the one that’s all teeth and violence. “No, but I hope one day you’ll consider me a father. I know you haven’t had things easy, what with Walter’s very public failings. But I’d like to get to know you, see if I can be a positive role model.”
A positive role model? He’s the head of a fucking crime family. Does he know how ridiculous he sounds?
I plaster a half-smile on my face, because Nero is the head of a crime family and I don’t want to piss him off. “I hope so, too.”
“Darlene is looking forward to a family Thanksgiving dinner tonight,” Nero says. “I’m cooking my mother’s famous Italian dishes – her recipes have been handed down through my family for generations. You won’t have tasted anything like it.”
“What about Pierre?” Our chef has been with us almost as long as Marie.
“I fired him. Any man who decides kale is an appropriate breakfast food is not long for this world.”
I smile despite myself. I have to agree about the kale, although I hope Pierre isn’t lying in a ditch with his head blown in for his culinary sins.
“I can’t tonight. I have other plans.”
I’m having Thanksgiving dinner with my real family.
“Shame.” Nero tsks. “I was hoping to talk more about your plans for the rest of your senior year. I still have that job going as my assistant, and I thought… I remember you said something about veterinary school? Darlene doesn’t think you’re serious, but I believe in taking a man at his word.”
“I don’t know.” I truly don’t. The idea of graduating and choosing a path to follow seems a million years away when your girlfriend just took a bullet for you and your mother is dating Tony Soprano. “I’m considering it. I like animals.”
“Well, I might have an opportunity for you to learn about the business firsthand, if you’re interested. Some of my clubs incorporate animals into their entertainment acts, and we also train animals for film and TV work. We retain vets on staff. I can give you some work experience with the trainers and vets I employ. It would give you a chance to roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty, see if it’s for you.”
