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“I understand. I might feel that way soon. Maybe I’m just trying to calm you. Or calm me? How long do you have to wait?”
At least she wasn’t alone in her crazy thoughts right now.
“I’m sure it’s done now. I just can’t seem to get my legs to move.”
“Do you want me to go get it?” he asked.
“I should do it,” she said. “Don’t you think?”
“We can do it together,” he said. “It seems to me we’ve done everything else together. I won’t look until I bring it back.”
“Sure,” she said.
She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her belly. She knew deep down what it was going to say.
He returned with his hand over the test and sat next to her, then pulled it away.
The word “pregnant” was there and she felt her eyes fill up with tears. One by one they escaped down her face.
She turned to look at him. He didn’t seem upset, but he wasn’t smiling either.
He put the test down and pulled her into his arms and just held her. “It’s going to be fine. We’re in this together.”
“Friends, right?” she said. He stiffened and she realized that she said the wrong thing. She leaned back. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s more than that,” he said. “I thought we agreed a while ago it was.”
“It is,” she said. “Don’t hold words out of my mouth against me right now. I’m just reeling over this. So many things I’ve got to figure out and don’t know what to do.”
“One step at a time right now,” he said. “Let's get up and shower. I’ll make some breakfast and we’ll feed the baby inside of you. We don’t need to talk much about it if you don’t want to. I mean you need to see a doctor first to verify, right?”
“Yes. That is smart. Not that I think this test is wrong. I think in my gut I had a feeling this would be the results.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “Thank you for telling me. For taking the test with me here.”
“I wouldn’t have done it any other way. That wouldn’t be right,” she said.
“Many wouldn’t feel that way,” he said. “It’s your choice to do it and could have sat on that information. I would have been pissed but not much I could do about it.”
“Why would you have been ticked off?” she asked.
“Because I wouldn’t want you stressing about this by yourself or dealing with it alone. I’m not asking you to come to some agreement right now. I know you with your ground rules and all.”
She laughed at the grin on his face. “Yeah. That got us in this mess.”
“Is it a mess?” he said softly. “I guess I’m not thinking that.”
She let out a sigh. “Again, words that don’t mean much. I told you how my mother used the word ‘mistake’ in regards to Emily. It’s hard to get that out of my head. And if they are going to be disappointed in me. I’ve never worried about that before or even cared, and yet now, I am.”
“They love you. I’m sure they might not be thrilled, but you’re not a kid. It’s not like you had a one-night stand either. You’re not alone, so remember that.”
She had to because she wanted to believe it.
Even if they didn’t work out, they could both be mature adults about this and raise this child the best way they could.
The problem was, she wanted to do it with him and yet couldn’t even bring herself to say it.
As he said, nothing had to be decided right yet.
