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Igotbacklate.I was still in shock from what had taken place. Stumbling through the airport, I had forgotten I didn’t bring my car; so I called a cab and slumped into the back seat.
“You okay, hon?” asked the driver.
“Just fine,” I replied. But I wasn’t fine in the slightest.
“Where to?” asked the driver.
“Home,” I said.
I couldn’t believe what had taken place on the roof at CAA Headquarters. Patricia had tried to kill us. Then, she’d been shot. Was she dead? I had no idea. But somehow, that enormity was nothing in comparison to her revelation on the rooftop. That whole story she told me at her office to discourage me from seeing Jake was all her story with Jake.
Jake on the other hand had lied to me. He’d mislead me by pretending he didn’t know who Dr. Patricia Knightly was. He’d allowed the woman who stalked him to continue treating me and my baby, out of some kind of sick guilt that made my stomach turn. I felt a knot in my torso that was tying itself tighter and tighter, a knot that had been pulled taut by fear but was now exacerbated by rage and sadness at what Jake had done.
In some ways, Patricia had been right.
I couldn’t trust him at all.
By the time I got back to my house, I was so wound up I could hardly talk. As I got out, bruised, damaged, and with my torn blazer, Sam appeared at the front door.
“Sis? What’s going on? I saw on the news there’d been some kind of shootout at CAA Headquarters. Are you all right?” as he put his arms around my shoulders.
“He lied,” I said, emotionlessly, as I went up the steps. I was numbed by the sheer scale of what I was feeling.
Sam gave me a hug, and my face rested on his shoulder.
“Who lied?” said Sam. “Jake?”
“Sam,” I said, slowly. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
“Alicia’s carrying my child, Sam.”
We turned and looked down the steps. Jake was standing there.
“What?” said Sam. He was trembling. The color drained out of his face.
“Two months ago,” said Jake, “Alicia and I slept together. It wasn’t anything serious. But she told me she was pregnant, and I wanted to help her. We started spending more and more time together.”
“Pregnant?” whispered Sam. “Is that … true?”
I nodded, and as I did, I realized that tears were falling down my cheeks. “I’m not even past the first trimester yet,” I said, spluttering the words a little. “But I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Sam. I didn’t want to …”
Sam looked into my eyes. I could see all sorts of emotions flickering across his face—doubt, fear, anger, confusion—but past them all, I could see a steady, resolute hope to do the best he could for me.
“Jake,” he said, “if this is true—”
“Yes, it is, Sam. And I’m sorry. I was a coward. Deep down I’m a coward. I keep my feelings from people because I’ve been hurt before, but that’s a selfish thing to do. It’s not the kind of person I want to be. It’s not the kind of person I’ve been turning into for Alicia.”
I laughed bitterly. I don’t know how—I didn’t feel like I had any laughs left in me for a lifetime—but I did.
“You think?” I said, turning round. Looking down the steps that led up to my front door, Jake was shorter than me. For the first time, I looked down on him—looked down and saw what he’d become.
“After you lied to me about Dr. Patricia Knightly,” I said, “after you lied to me about everything … Do you think you did thatforme?”
“I think,” said Sam, “we all need a little while to calm down and talk about this. It’s been a hard day for everyone.”
“Alicia,” said Jake. “Look at me. Please.”
But I didn’t want to look at him. I didn’t want to let myself look at those green eyes any longer. I didn’t want to see what kind of man he really was. In my head, I still clung to a vision of Jake as a perfect, sexy, brilliant man. But now I knew the truth—that he was a liar. I preferred my memories to the shadow standing in front of me.
