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I’d tried to go to Nyx in the dreamscape, to reason with her, and realized almost instantly that I’d expended too much energy, drawn on too much of a gift that had been rapidly trickling dry. I’dknown. I’d checked in on Wild and Grace, feeling them both settled in sleep, and then I’d waited for Thanatos to come.
Was I happy to die? No, of course not. But I also knew that there wouldneverbe enough time, and at the same time, we’d all be reunited in the underworld for eternity. I’d accepted that fate, and I didn’t know how to cope with this new one.
Wild tugged at the roots of my hair softly, apparently growing impatient with my silent brooding. Fair enough, that was usually his thing.
“I’m good,” I lied, pulling off an impressively casual voice. Annoyingly, there was a song right on the tip of my tongue that totally captured my general mood, but I couldn’t quite grasp it.
Why couldn’t I grasp it?
This…
This had never happened to me before.
Don’t freak out. Grace will know, and then she’ll come rushing back in to check on me and then Riot will hate me even more than he already does because they’re having a moment right now.
She was already feeding me love and comfort through the bond, so I wasn’t doing as good of a job at hiding it as I’d hoped.
Wild sighed loudly, shifting so that both his hands were free before softly cuffing my wrist with one and running a finger over my palm. It took several attempts before I realized he wasn’t just doodling random shapes on my skin.
T-A-L-K.
“Bossy,” I muttered affectionately, grateful I still got to experience his subtle brand of dominance. Cravingmoreof it. I’d always been attracted to Wild—obviously, he was the hottest man I’d ever seen—but there was a sense of freedom in that desire that hadn’t been there before.
Maybe it was just a lack of inhibition. I’d come so close to never getting to experience this again…
I leaned up to kiss him again, but before my lips could brush against his, he’d caught me gently by the throat, giving me a smirk that promised trouble.
This was going to be a total redo of that time I came in my pants with Grace. An arrogant smile and a soft chokehold? I could only get so hard.
Wild shook his head slightly, using his free hand to trace letters on my palm again.T-A-L-K.
“Ugh, fine. I’ll talk.” I flopped back onto his lap, dislodging his grip in the process. He ran his thumb over my stubbled jawline instead, and I couldn’t decide which felt better. “It’s a real boner killer, though. Just FYI.”
I glanced up at him through my eyelashes to see if that had changed his mind. Nope, nada. Apparently, I was getting out of it that easily.
“You suggested Grace use the bond to follow me,” I stated, only somewhat successfully keeping the note of accusation out of my tone. Wild nodded, more sheepish than I’d ever seen him.
Shit, he was potent when he was being kind of cute too.
“I want to be mad at you,” I said eventually, huffing a quiet laugh. “I am, a little, actually. I’m grateful, and I was selfish enough to let Grace carry me back even though I had concerns about what it would mean for her. I still have those concerns. I’d rather be waiting for you all in the underworld than weakening Grace with my presence here. I should have said no, should have sent her away.”
That was easy to say in hindsight, though. In reality, I hated denying Grace anything, and I’d never seen her so determined.
“I’m selfishly glad to be here, but in the symphony of my life, this feels liketempo rubato.” I swallowed thickly, staring up at the low ceiling rather than making eye contact with Wild. “Stolen time. Time that has to be caught up somehow. Given back.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Wild shaking his head, but we both knew that to be an agathos was to sacrifice, and to be an Oneiroi was to suffer. That there was a very real chance that saving me might have condemned us to something even worse as the Fates tried to fix the scales we’d thrown out of balance.
If it were anyone else, I’d scoff and dismiss that kind of talk as hubris. I’d tell them that no one had that much power to change their own fate, that things had worked out the way they were meant to.
But Grace wasn’t just anyone. She was a Prophêtis. When she spoke, the gods listened.
“I want more time with Grace, with you,” I said quietly, the potential ramifications of what Grace had done hanging over the back of my neck like a guillotine, ready to drop at any moment. “More time with Riot and Dare. I want to help Grace fulfill her destiny and see her free of this incredible burden. But next time, Wild, you have to let me go.”
Chapter 15
“Dare,”Riotcalled,crossingthe deck to where I was standing watch, huddled inside one of Arsène’s oversized jackets. “Switch. Head on in.”
“What? No, I’m fine. You need to be in there.” I’d never been a big sleeper anyway. Of the two of us, Riot needed a nap more, plus his bonded had almost… died? I wasn’t even entirely sure. They all talked about the bond stretching and fading and whatever else, but it was all kind of meaningless to me.
