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Instead of sinking into the ground, the droplets were running over the ground like strange, shiny red ants. I followed, both mesmerized and horrified.Please let this lead to Riot,I thought helplessly. How long had I been out here?
Where was Grace?
She’d left with Dare and Milos, so I was guessing she’d gone back to Eirene’s house. I had to get back there. Dare was fine and all, but he wasn’t strong enough to protect Grace alone. And without Bullet… She’d be heartbroken. The empty space where the bond had been ached like a stab wound to the chest.
She needed me. She’d needed me from the second the bond had broken, and I’d let her down. Worse, I’d taken Riot away from her, too.
I picked up my pace, jogging along next to the droplets of blood as every muscle in my body ached in protest. Occasionally, I’d hear the faint voices of others calling for me or Riot, but I ignored them.
It wasn’t as though I could yell back.
A few minutes later, I found myself back at the library, stepping through the invisible barrier to the courtyard in front of the agathos statues. In front of the entrance to the realm of the gods. The fuckinggods, who heaped one trial after another upon us.
Riot.
I stared at his still form in the corner of the courtyard in horror.
His face was swollen, so smeared in blood that he was unrecognizable.No, no, no.I’d killed him.
I’dkilledhim.
In my anger, in mygrief, I’d killed him. Grace would never forgive me for this. I’d never forgive myself.
What would Bullet think? He’d be so ashamed of me. Horrified that I’d done this in the name of grief.
How was I meant to fix this? How could I tell Grace? She couldn’t see Riot like this, it would devastate her.
His sweater lay to the side, torn into shreds, and I stumbled towards it, my limbs uncooperative. Maybe I could staunch the bleeding, bandage him up.
It’s too late.
Maybe I could pray. Except I was voiceless. Fuck! How had I let myself get so out of control?
How could I have hurt Riot? I had in the past,before. Before Grace, before I knew what he meant to her. Before he’d come to mean something tome. Riot was my friend. He understood me, he’d been learning ASL for me, he read my moods well enough to know when I needed to burn off some tension, or what I was trying to say when I couldn’t speak. He’d been a good friend to me, and I’d never appreciated how much.
Not appreciating what I had until it was gone seemed to be the theme of my life. I never appreciated Bullet enough, never found a way to tell him how much I cared, that it was more than just sex.
Never told Grace I loved her.
I’d never have a chance now. She’d never see me as anything other than Riot’s murderer.
The sweater felt scratchy against my fingers as I picked it up. The fresh blood from the wound at Riot’s temple was also running over the ground in steady rivulets, but I used the fabric to gingerly wipe away the older stuff. Was he breathing? I couldn’t tell. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
A flash of silver caught my attention, and I startled, dropping the sweater on the ground. The blood we’d shed was sinking into the plinth of the statue to the right of Sophia’s, the one that read Αρετη—Arete, perhaps? I knew vaguely that she was an agathos too, one of excellence, virtue, of fulfilling potential.
That ship had long since sailed for me.
Instead of lighting up gold the way the temples had with Grace’s blood, it was silver light that healed the broken stone.Riot’sbloodhad done that. Riot’s and mine.
We had no idea what we were truly capable of.
Did this mean Riot was still alive? With shaking hands, I moved to look for his pulse, but Thanatos stepped out of midair in front of me, knocking me back onto my ass.
No.
I nearly choked on a desperate gasp, an agonizing attempt to speak, tobeg.
Don’t take him, please don’t take him. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I regret it so much.
