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I giggle.
“Like what? Get drunk and come onto him?”
“Hell no, nothing so crass!” my cousin exclaims. “I’ve decided I’m going to pull a train.”
I stare at her.
“No way. No fucking way.”
Carrie merely nods.
“Yes, I am. Bruce clearly likes fucking multiple women, and so I’m going to do the equivalent. I’m going to do a gangbang in front of him, and my guess is that it’s going to turn him on. I mean, it’s sexy right? A bunch of horny, hung men plugging all your holes as you squirm with ecstasy?”
The truth is that the description turns me on a bit, and I feel a little hot under the collar. But I fix my cousin with a look.
“Yeah, but what if your plan backfires? I mean, what if Bruce sees you and decides you’re the type-I’d-like-to-fuck, but not the type-I’d-like-to-marry?”
“Tess, really?” Carrie exclaims. “You arewaytoo serious about this marriage thing. I mean, you’re in the middle of a divorce, so if anyone,youshould know how little that piece of paper means. Besides, you can’t live your life for other people,” she says in a knowing tone. “You have to make yourself happy before you can focus on anyone else.”
I nod slowly. Maybe this is the time to confess my sins because the fact is that my cousin’s pretty out there. I mean, Carrie’s basically revealing that she plans on going to a sex party to get gang-banged, and all for the purpose of attracting some guy’s attention. It’s insane, right? So maybe I should fess up as well because I haven’t exactly been a good girl either.
“Well, maybe,” I concede in a slow voice. “Actually, I support you, Car. We all have to be bad girls sometimes, and why not now, when we’re young? It won’t be half so fun if we wait until we’re in our forties.”
Carries flaps her hand at me over the screen.
“Forties?” she laughs. “Girl, not only is that a lifetime away, but we won’t be able to attract these guys when we’re in our forties. I mean, they want hot, horny young women, not middle-aged ladies with limps.”
I giggle then.
“Who says I’m going to have a limp when I’m forty?”
My cousin giggles as well.
“Well, if you fuck enough men in the next two decades, then youwillbe limping.”
We both collapse into laughter then, and the atmosphere is so mirthful and relaxed that I decide to reveal my secret to my cousin.
“Actually, Iamseeing someone,” I say. “I know my divorce isn’t final yet, but it’s fine. Rolly and I are separated, and we’re both seeing other people already.”
Carrie nods.
“I knew it. See? When you’re young, life moves fast. There’s no need to dwell over what did and didn’t work in the past.”
I nod.
“Yeah, but there’s a catch, Car.”
“What is it?” she asks expectantly. “Is he an axe murderer? A felon who’s terrorizing the women of New York?”
I shake my head, but then slowly begin to nod.
“Actually, heisa felon,” I say. “He was convicted for some crypto scam, and he’s behind bars. Not only that, but I’m actually dating Rolly’s dad, Roland Barker. So yes, I’m seeing my former father in law.”
At that, Carrie’s jaw drops.
“Are you serious, Tess?” she whispers. “Oh my god, that’s rancid.”
I nod sheepishly.
