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??? Where?
Doesn’t matter. Just somewhere that isn’t here.
I’m flying to Geneva in the morning if u want to go.
OK
Why, what’s going on
Nothing. Just need some air.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Juliet
Iplodded throughthe next week like a zombie. It was the week of Valentine’s Day, with love and roses everywhere, but for me, there was so little joy. Goodluck gave me the silent treatment and canceled two appearances, leaving me to clean up the mess.
I started to think seriously about quitting as his manager, maybe leaving the art world altogether. I could say goodbye to the weirdness and high-maintenance personalities, go back to school to learn something new, something practical like nursing or accounting.
Would I feel like quitting in a week? In a month? I’d never last a month if Goodluck didn’t forgive me for abandoning him during his candlelight epiphany.
And all this drama was because of Fort, because of the angst and upheaval he brought to my life. Damn it, I was falling in love with him, and it wasn’t only that Valentine’s Day was in the air. I couldn’t understand my deepening feelings for him, but I also couldn’t deny them anymore. The way he looked at me whenever he saw me, the way he kissed me, the way he put his hands on me all the time, it read like love to my heart, but it wasn’t love. At thirty-two, I was finally realizing that the men I gravitated toward were men whocouldn’t love.
All day Saturday, I thought I should cancel that night’s foray to The Gallery. I picked up the phone, my finger hovering over Fort’s name, but in the end I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to give up the chance to see him, the chance to enter that fantasy world again, because once I ducked out of going to The Gallery, Fort would be lost to me.
So I tamped down my inconvenient and unreasonable emotions and pulled my wild hair back, smoothing it into a tight bun. I shaved and put on my revealing uniform, and applied new waterproof makeup that wouldn’t run when I cried. I took my coat from the closet, pulled off the dry-cleaning plastic, and stared at the elegant black garment before wrapping myself in it. Juliet’s invisibility cloak.
When Fort arrived, I felt a little better about my decision. The Gallery would be fun. We would be two adults having sexy fun together. He looked relaxed, all put together in his suit and tie. He kissed me, a quick, rough kiss before we headed downstairs. I felt less nervous than last time, now that I knew what to expect. The collar felt a little more natural around my neck, and the harness-like garter belt seemed to caress rather than confine me.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he said in the car, delving under my coat and rubbing his hand up and down my thigh.
“I’ve been thinking about you all week. How was Morocco?”
“Hot.”
I still didn’t believe he’d gone to Morocco, but his hand felt so good and firm against my bare skin that I didn’t challenge him. He seemed tight-lipped. I guessed he was doing his Dominant thing, so I looked out the window and summoned my inner submissive. It was Saturday night in Manhattan. There were couples everywhere, laughing, holding hands, heading out for dinner or drinks. I wondered if any of them got off on pain the way we did.
“We don’t have to go to The Gallery,” he said, abruptly. “We could play at my house. We could…I don’t know. Go see a movie.”
A movie, like a normal romantic couple, so I could fall even deeper in love? “I’m not dressed for a movie. But I don’t care. It’s up to you.”
He frowned. “We’re on The Gallery guest list. We might as well go.”
“Yes. I think every time I go, I’ll get better at it.”
I couldn’t tell if he wanted me to go, or if he wanted me to plead out. I couldn’t read him on a good night, and tonight he seemed especially closed off. Once we arrived at The Gallery, we were greeted by Rene and ushered into the echoing elegance of the clock tower, where the hiss and swish of punishments surrounded us, along with whispers and moans. As I looked around the room at busy hands and busy mouths, I realized how much trust mattered, and how much I’d come to trust Fort during our acquaintance.
No, it wasn’t trust. It was love.
I didn’t want anyone else to touch me, because I loved him. I didn’t look around or preen like the other submissives, eager for any Dominant’s attention. I only wanted one man’s attention.
A groan of pleasure made me turn to the left. I saw Michelle, my costume fitter, on her knees, giving her Master an ardent blowjob. She was here for sex and fulfillment. What was I here for?
To spend time with him.
I realized then that I should have agreed to the movie. Hell, I should have broken things off with Fort a couple weeks ago.
“What are we going to do with you tonight?” he said. “Where can I take you next?”
“Somewhere awful,” I replied, avoiding his gaze. “Somewhere painful.”
