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I blinked at my phone.Yes.
OK
That was all he answered.OK.That was all he typed, while I had a thousand questions. Why had she gone to him? Was she still with him? What the hell had they talked about? Had he touched her?
Can she come there?he finally typed.You two need to talk.
Fuck, I wanted to talk to Ella like crazy, but I didn’t know what to say, how to level the wall she’d put up between us. I wasn’t the genius of the relationship. And even if she wanted to come see me, how would she get here?
She won’t get on a plane, I texted.She’s afraid to fly.
I know, bozo. I’m sitting beside her.He typed a monster emoji.She’s a mess.
What? You’re sitting beside her where?
On a plane. I’m bringing her to u. But she’s a fucking mess, just saying. Good lust with this one.
Good lust? What did he mean by that? Had he slept with her? Jealousy consumed me, set me on fire, until he texted again.
fuck good FUCK.
My fingers pounded out my reply.WTF MAN?
Gah. Good LUCK. Autocorrect. I didn’t touch her.He texted four more monster faces.I have to turn off my phone soon. Tell me your hotel.
I typed the hotel and address.You’re bringing her here?I asked.Now?
Yeah, but I’m turning around at the airport. Fuck. Hold on.
There was nothing then, for almost three minutes. I counted the seconds. I imagined Ella flipping out, or passing out, or screaming to be let off the plane. Then he was back.
I’m leaving her at the airport, he typed.She can make it to your hotel on her own.
No, I’ll come to the airport. Flight #?
He texted the info as I stared at the screen, wishing I could see her sitting beside him. What would she say when we were together? What if everything went haywire again? What if our strange connection didn’t connect again?Is she okay?I typed.
Yes.
Tell her I want to see her too. Tell her I’ll be here.
Another pause, then three blinking dots.OK. She’s so afraid.Then, a moment later:This is love, man. Disgusting. I’m turning off my phone.
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Ella
Flying with Milowas nothing like flying with Devin. For one thing, the plane didn’t run out of fuel and have to crash land. But the other thing was that Devin had been a pilot, and Milo wasn’t. Devin had reassured me, and answered all my questions about the noises and motions of the plane. Milo told me to breathe when the panic rose up to choke me, but that was about it.
Of course, I was grateful he’d booked our tickets and come with me. I wasn’t sure I could have flown to Devin on my own, even though I desperately wanted to see him. I was afraid, afraid to talk to him, afraid to admit my stupid fears, afraid of everything I felt for him. Afraid he would treat me as coolly and insensitively as I’d treated him.
Milo said he wouldn’t. He said Devin wasn’t like that, then he gave me that look, the look that saidIwas like that.
God, I’d been such an idiot.
It’s because I was afraid, I wanted to say. Theoretical astrophysicists could be afraid and stupid. Devin had saved my life, changed my life, defended me from Leo the asshole, removing the barrier that curtailed my freedom. He’d punched out his best friend because he thought he was hurting me, because he was damaged from his past, like all of us.
I made a soft sound of dismay. Milo looked over at me, then at his watch. “We’re almost there. Don’t worry. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I held to his words through the descent over Lake Ontario, and the bumpy landing in Toronto. I cried a little as we touched down, clinging to the armrests as Milo shook his head in mockery. Then he cleaned my glasses while I dried my eyes. We’d arrived. We were safe, rolling up to the gate.
