AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’ve been itching for fucking weeks. How did I not pick up on it?
Whatever he’s hoping I won’t figure out on my own… the disconnect is telling in its own way. It’s as bright as a fucking flare. All of a sudden he’s on her side? He knows she’s hurting?
He pulls up front of the house where one of the guys that is hired to park cars is waiting, a bored expression on his gum chewing face. Until he sees Emmy, that is. Then his eyes light up and he hustles.
Rebel and Riot jump out. Riot has the envelope stuffed with images in his hand.
I slide across the bench seat before the valet can attempt to climb in. The keys are still in the engine. Motor running.
“What are you doing?” Rebel asks, but he has to have a clue.
“You talked to her.” I squeeze the steering wheel with both hands. Wring it like it’s his damn neck. Even when she’d told me about Alec, she hadn’t told me about T-Swift.
I hadn’t really thought about it. Assumed they were the same person. But her brother was in her phone as “dickwad.” He had theJawstheme song. T-Swift had been “Wildest Dreams.” As in, never in my wildest dreams would I work it the fuck out.
“Was it her idea or yours to keep me out of it while she faced-off with that psychopath?”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ivy
I don’t know what to do. It hurts so bad.
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t even breathe. Rebel said to wait. To have hope that Rogue will realize that I didn’t tell him for the right reasons. But I’m not sure there are any right reasons anymore.
Adira didn’t think so. He hasn’t been in touch since he walked out. He was so angry that I kept Alec’s threat from him. I just wanted to protect him because he’s always had my back. I didn’t think about the fact that I was taking away his choice.
A door to one of the other apartments opens and a minute later closes.
I flop on my back in bed, the covers tangled around my bare legs and torso. It’s late and I can’t stop tossing and turning. I’m wearing one of Rogue’s T-shirts. One I borrowed from him when I stayed over. The slogan on the front made me laugh when I read it the first time.I know how many licks it takes.He had definitely known.
The soft, white material smells like him when I put it to my nose and inhale. It breaks my heart all over again, but I can’t bear to let him go. He was everything to me. Now I have nothing.
A car drives past, the motor humming and strange. I catch my breath anyway, prick my ears. I want it to be Rogue so bad. I want him to understand that I was only trying to help.
I had a plan. I’d work with Alec and work on getting him to confess at the same time. Rebel convinced me I was protecting Rogue by keeping it from him.
I throw a hand over my eyes and block out the light from the lamp on my bedside table. I convinced myself that it was the only way for him to care about me, knowing who my brother is. I didn’t trust him to love me for who I am. I didn’t give him that chance. I didn’t want to get hurt.
I should have been honest from the start. If I’d told him the day he figured out I was Uma Cookie, he might have been able to deal with it. We could have teamed up against Alec.
There are so many could have, would have, should haves in my head. But I can’t work out what I’m supposed to do now. I want to go to Rogue. Beg him to let me explain. Apologize. Promise I will never keep secrets from him again… if he’ll just give me a second chance.
Less than forty-eight hours have passed and I can’t bear the fact that I hurt him. At least not without trying to make it right. So how do I do that?
Scree.A shrub rubs against the outside wall. Headlights brighten the darkness. Is that the first of the journalists showing up at my door? Or just someone driving by?
I sit up and grab my glasses off the nightstand. Push them up my nose while I light up my phone. It’s late. So late.
Is he sleeping? Is he with someone? I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block out that thought. He was a scoundrel before me. People do all kinds of things to help them forget. Sleeping pills in the bathtub. Checking every single entertainment news site for the moment the media finally breaks the story. Burying themselves in a willing body.
I’m too agitated to stay in bed. I’m cold inside. Desperate. Thinking about him with anyone else makes me want to puke. Thinking about him hurting like I am makes tears rise unbidden and trail down my cheeks as I walk through the empty apartment. Goosebumps prickle my skin, and I tug on the hem of my flannel sleep shorts.
I’m a mess and I don’t know who to ask for help. If my dad were still alive he would know what to say. He would find the words to help me make sense of the situation. He would probably have some idea of how to fix it.
“I don’t know what to do. I tried to get Alec to confess to what he did to Rochelle Kitt, but I screwed up. He’s smarter than me, Dad.” I know he won’t answer, but I need him. “Did you know he was a monster? Or were you oblivious to everything that he did? I don’t understand why you let him and Nicole walk all over you. I don’t get why you never stood up to her for me. Or made him stop pushing me around when we were kids. I always had to keep the peace.”
The tears fall harder as I wrap my arms around myself. I’m so sad about Adira. Heartbroken over Rogue. I miss my dad so much. But I’m angry at him too. He taught me to please everyone. “You didn’t teach me how to be strong. Or stand up for myself. Or the people I love. I’m all alone. Learning these things for myself. And I’m screwing it up so badly.”
