AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Tell him it isn’t fucking necessary.” I want to be alone.
“He won’t listen,” Summer says. “Just come over. It’s better to be with people. Keep your mind occupied. Makes it… a little easier to ignore the hurt.”
“Somehow I don’t believe you, Sum.” Because this bitch stings. It fucking burns in the worst way imaginable. It’s like getting fucked up the ass with a cactus. I imagine it is, at any rate. Only worse because it’s everywhere. It’s in my heart. And because I miss her already, with every shallow breath that I manage, memories assault me.
The first time I saw her in that princess costume. The first time she smiled at me. Holding her hand. The moment I knew she’d gotten inside my chest and I didn’t want her out. Watching her sleep. Seeing her with my family. Our argument over the stupid car. She’s gone but she’s everywhere. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that?
I hang up on Summer. I sit there for a while. Going over every moment in mine and Ivy’s relationship. All the moments she’d shut me down when I could tell something wasn’t right.
My phone vibrates and I glance down to where I dropped it on the carpet. Marty again. Another message about Ivy.
I wish she’d fuck off.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ivy
“You didn’t respond to any of my texts. You’ve had me half-sick with worry.” Adira jumps off his stool the minute I walk in the door. He pulls the blue floral material of his silk robe tighter and cinches the waist. “You don’t call anymore? I thought we had an understanding. Your friend popped by. Dizzy. She was worried too. She stayed for as long as she could.”
I open the fridge and pull out a soda. Open it and take a sip with my back to him. I’m not thirsty. I’m just… numb. Only worse… because any second now the tears that I finally got under control before I got out of the car will start up again. I’m fighting a losing battle for composure. One I can’t win. Not when I need to tell Adira about Alec.
I might have called Alec’s bluff accurately today. I may even have stumped him in the short term, but I’m not naïve enough to believe that he won’t react. The only questions are how and when.
“This isn’t like you. You haven’t been yourself. At all.” Adira comes up behind me. There’s something in the way he says it. Like he’s concerned about more than just where I’ve been all night. As if he didn’t know. “Have you been taking your antidepressants?”
“Religiously,” I respond flatly as I turn around. “Not that any pill will make a difference right now.”
Adira’s eyes widen as he takes in my face. I caught my pained look in the mirror in the car before I dragged myself inside. I look a mess. Splotchy from crying, eyelids puffy, eyelashes webbed. My eyes are sore. Glassy and pink. Nothing I could do about it. Just like there is nothing I can do to make Rogue believe that I didn’t want to betray him.
“Jesus.” He plants a hand on the island to hold himself up. “You told him, didn’t you?”
I nod.
“I take it he took it as well as we expected.”
I can’t stop the sob that escapes.
“Oh, Love.” He pulls me into his chest, wraps his arms around me. “I am so sorry.”
I sink into his embrace. Cling to my best friend as my heart breaks all over again. “He was so angry.”
“It’s okay. Let it out.” He just hugs me.
We stand in the kitchen for I have no clue how long with me crying on his chest. It feels like I’ll never recover.
Eventually my tears slow. A short reprieve back into numbness. "It’s always going to pain like this, isn’t it?”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” His voice rumbles in my ear. “I still hold out hope for lover boy.”
“He hates me.” Nope, these tears aren’t going anywhere soon.
“Look at me, Love.” Adira lifts my face with one hand. Wipes the tears from my cheeks. “You just told him that you’re the sister of the guy he hates most in the world. A guy who his whole inner circle has serious beef with… you have to give him time.”
“It’s worse than that,” I whisper. My stomach is all in a knot. I feel like I could puke. Adira has been my biggest support since my dad died, and I’ve kept secrets from him too.
“What do you mean it’s worse than that?” Adira pulls back enough to look at me. His hazel gaze turns narrow and suspicious. “What haven’t you told me?”
I squeeze my eyes shut and whisper the words, “Christian Dakota.”
