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But news of Adira’s whereabouts in the meantime would be a great start.
“I promise you—"
“Don’t say crap you can’t back up,” I warn him.
“It’s going to be okay. Adira will show. You just have to be patient.”
I wish I could believe him. I fetch a bottle of water from the small fridge over next to the wall. Twisting the cap free, I take a long pull and try not to choke on all the shit I’m feeling.
Like how much I want a drink that isn’t H20. I want to drink myself into oblivion. Drown this voice in my head that keeps telling me that I’ve lost Ivy and I could have done something about that.
I clench my jaw until it aches as I walk over to where I left my phone and the new packet of cigarettes Bianca had brought with her this morning when she dropped by to check on me. Lifting one from the pack, I stick it between my lips.
“You need to stop doing that. Do you think Ivy will want to deal with your bad habits once we get this mess cleared up?”
I stop on my way out of the gym. My fingers ball up as the tension in my shoulder blades ratchets up. I hate that he thinks he’s the fucking king of shit. “It’s a cigarette, not fucking heroine. Don’t tell me what I should and shouldn’t do.”
"You’re angry.”
“You’re damn right, I’m angry.” I turn and face him. Face the man who looks so much like me. Whose blue eyes mirror mine.
Except they don’t this time. His gaze is wary. Regretful. Soft. “You’re not to blame.”
“No.” His words cut right to the heart of me. And I hate that he has that ability. To see inside me and know what I’m thinking and feeling. And then he uses it as an excuse for the way he treated Ivy like a commodity. The way he kept important details from me.
The unlit cigarette falls to the floor as I launch myself at him. “You are.”
He goes down under my fists like a sack of manure, copping a blow to his pretty boy face before he makes my teeth ache with a hit of his own.
I give him an identical bruise to his jaw. “You had no fucking right.”
He catches me in the throat with the heel of his palm. “Fuck. Get off me.”
But I’ve got the upper hand and enough fury in my veins that he can’t move me. “You had no place getting involved where Ivy was concerned.”
He brings his arms up to block me from punching him in the face again. “What was I supposed to do? You’re my little brother.”
“By one minute.” I slam my knuckles into his ribs over and over again. “We’re not a pack of fucking dogs. We’re a family. You’re supposed to share shit like this so we can protect the people we love.”
He grabs my head with both hands and squeezes until the pressure is almost too much. “I was protecting the people I love, you fucking asshole.”
“Oh yeah?” I land a blow to his jaw.
“Yeah.” He winces but doesn’t let go. He plants me under him on the mat. “You’re my brother. I love you. I will always protect you.”
The fury leaves me and my blows slow and lose their force. “I love her. I love Ivy. I don’t care that Alec Hawthorne is her brother. If you really wanted to protect me that’s something you should have told me as soon as you worked it out.”
“I know.”
“As soon as you two came up with your stupid plan to get a confession I should have been included. You should have trusted that I could handle it.”
“I know.” He eases his grip on me.
I use it to get the upper hand. Draw him up by his collar. “You should have trusted me. Relied on me. Given me the choice. Asshole.”
He puts his hands up in surrender. “I fucked up. I know I did. Trust me, I wish I’d handled things differently.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t.” I let his head slam into the floor. “You. Betrayed. Me. I almost lost her, Rebel. She almost died in my arms. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Could you imagine if that was Summer? How could you betray me like that?”
