Page 33 of Madd Love


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“Fuck you.” I am not that easy to read. I can’t be.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to twist your panties.” He settles down. “So what does she remember?”

“You,” I say. “And that she doesn’t trust Nicole.”

“Well, that’s good at least.”

“She doesn’t trust me either.” I rub at the ache in my chest. And why should she when I did a spectacular job of letting her down? When I couldn’t even work out the best way to answer her questions without freaking her out entirely. She thinks that the apartment is just another form of lockdown. She thinks that I could hurt her. I saw it today. In the way she looked at me.

“Why don’t you just tell her everything?” Adira suggests.

“I’m scared that it will cause her to spiral,” I admit. “Or that she won’t believe me about Alec. You should have seen her reaction when I brought him up. I swear she was going to faint.”

“But she doesn’t remember him?”

“Only that he’s the one that saved her from drowning.”

“If he did.” Adira chews on the inside of his cheek. “What if it’s muscle memory? Can her body still have a trauma response if she doesn’t remember?”

“I’m not sure.” I grip the edge of the bar. If that’s the case it lends itself to the idea that she didn’t hurt herself and that he tried to kill her. Or at the very least that he scared her so much she thought she had no other option. “But I don’t want to push her harder than she can handle. What if bringing it up causes more damage? I can’t lose her, Adira. Maybe you can help her. She trusts you. If you tell her she’s safe with me she’ll believe you. It’ll buy us time… I can speak to the doctors. I can look into where Alec was that night.”

“I have a man who can help with that. Used to be a detective,” he says. “And I’ll talk to her. I’ll make sure she knows she’s safe with you.”

“There’s something else,” I say. “She wants her phone. It must still be at the apartment. Can you bring it for her?”

“It’s not there.” He frowns. “I brought a bag of her clothes with me. I packed her makeup and extra glasses and contacts. I cleaned up in Narnia as much as I could. Her phone isn’t there.”

“It has to be. She didn’t have it on her when we took her to the hospital.”

He hugs his shoulders to his ears. “I’ll check Narnia again.”

“Thanks.” I hold the door open for the queen to step inside. “And one more thing.”

“What’s that?” he asks as we walk through the apartment.

“Don’t tell her that we’re not married.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t cleared that up?”

“When was I supposed to drop that bomb? Was it between Nicole’s threatening to destroy everything I hold dear and finding out Ivy doesn’t remember a damn thing?” My heart pounds like I’m having a heart attack and a fine sweat breaks out on my forehead as I grasp the handle to the bedroom door. I know what it feels like to not have her in my life. I will do anything to make sure that she stays long enough for me to turn us around. “What do you think will happen if I tell her that now? It’s the only thing I’ve got going for me. If you tell her she will leave me and go to Nicole.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” As sure as I know that my middle name is something I will never admit out loud to anyone who isn’t my brothers or Ivy. “I know all it would take right now for Ivy to walk out that door is for her to find out that this whole marriage thing is a crock. I need time for her to trust me again.”

“You’re asking me to lie to my best friend. After everything we’ve just been through. All the secrets. You of all people should hate—”

“I do hate it.” The words snap between my teeth. But if I walk into that room now and tell her that I’m not her husband… That we were never married…

It’ll be over.

“I’m begging you to go along with it. For now. Only until she believes that I wouldn’t hurt her. Then I’ll tell her myself.”

His cheeks hollow as he considers it. He shakes his head. “I don’t like it.”

“This isn’t about me.” My pulse starts to slow back to normal. “Do you really think what’s best for her is going home to your aunt? Or walking into Narnia every morning to start her day while her blood is still staining the carpet?”

“As soon as she’s comfortable with you.” He narrows his gaze on me. “Not a minute more. And only because I agree that she needs protection. But that is all the time you’re getting. Do you feel me?”

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