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A good person with a fucked up family.
Rogue’s family had every reason to wish that we weren’t together because of who my family is, but they accepted me anyway.
They’re here with me now, trying to work out how to fix what my family is determined to break. When the easiest answer would be for me to marry Nathaniel.
Their kindness brings tears to my eyes. I struggle to hold the waterworks back. This is how family is supposed to be. Not like mine. All my family ever does is hurt people.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Sure.” My trauma is banging on the door of my mind. The lies I’ve excused my family with for all these years are crumbling. And my husband-to-be is being set up. I wipe at my eyes, but they only grow wetter. “I think I need a minute. It’s the shock.”
“I’ll go make sure…” He curls his lip like his partial comment leaves a bad aftertaste. “I’ll check on you in a bit.”
The door closes behind him and I lie down. More tears come and I don’t try to stop them. I let them wash over me. Let my fear and sadness drown me.
I knew my brother was not a good man, but now I’ve learned he’s a monster. He raped Rochelle Kitt. He more than likely assaulted me. And I am seeing my life in a new light. Like those sedatives… did I really allow a doctor to prescribe them to me when I will never forget that I almost drowned the last time I took them? They make me so tired I can’t function…
Surely I would have asked for something else…
I get up and go into the bathroom where I pull out my cosmetic bags and check the contents of each one. No sedatives. Not anywhere. I check the drawers in the vanity in case they got swept up and not put back properly because sometimes I can be messy when I’m in a hurry. I come up empty.
I rest a hip against the counter as my heart starts to pound painfully in my chest. The world swims around me and I can’t swallow the bitter taste that races up my throat. I barely manage to lift the lid on the toilet before I empty the chamomile tea into the porcelain bowl.
My exhausted body can’t fight the stress and the stomach bug at the same time. I sink to the floor and rest my head on my cast.
Did Alec drug me?
Is the whole reason Rogue hasn’t talked to me about my brother because every time he tries, my body throws up a trauma response like it is now? I think back over our conversations. My light-headedness and the way my body is wracked with trembles every time the topic came around to my brother. How Rogue didn’t want me to go to Narnia. And wouldn’t let me out of his sight. It makes so much sense in light of this new information.
“You all right, Love?” Riot struts into the bathroom. He wrinkles his nose. “Chamomile tea didn’t sit right?”
I shake my head. A low moan escapes me. “Any news?”
“Not yet,” he says. “Want a hand to get up?”
“I think I’m going to lie here for a little bit.”
“I’ve been there,” he says as he sits down across from me on the tiles and stretches out his long legs. “Normally after a bottle of Jack though.”
“Where’s Adira?” Riot has been kind to me tonight, and I like his company, but I’m surprised my cousin hasn’t popped his head around the door to check on me.
“He left to clear his head.” Riot rests his against the cupboard behind him. “So did Rebel. Separately. Summer is set up in the kitchen, doing social media triage.”
We fall silent for a while. I don’t know that I could drag my aching and weary body up if I tried. At some point I start to shiver and my teeth start to chatter.
“Got to get you up, Love.” Riot moves smoothly to his feet and then picks me up. “Can’t have you getting any sicker on my watch.”
“I wish I could remember,” I say once I’m on my feet again. I press my fingertips to my temples. I’m so tired and my thoughts are so muddled. “What if I know something that could help?”
Riot keeps an arm around my waist as he walks me to bed. “Your memory will come back if and when your brain can handle it. In the meantime, Rogue has the best lawyer on his case. And we know Marty will help once we find her.”
I collapse onto the mattress on my side and draw my legs up in front of me. Yawn. I’m at my breaking point. “How much further is Nicole willing to go to get me to obey?”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ivy
Thecabstopsinthe middle of the empty street and I climb out. It’s late, but I couldn’t sleep. A couple of vehicles cross the intersection behind me, but otherwise it’s quiet outside my brother’s place.
