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“There are no secrets from bonded mates,” Cara reminded. “The mind link makes it impossible. Besides, the message stated that the deal Tov and Merrik had negotiated with my parents would not be honored. Clearly, they knew I was being courted but wanted to start from scratch.”
Raina’s brows scrunched up over her nose. “You sound angry. Do you want Tov and Merrik to claim you?”
“If I have no choice but to be part of a triad, I want to form it with Tov and Merrik. However, I’m not sure I want to be part of a triad. I would rather have control of my life, guide my own future.”
Nadis smiled knowingly. “You are not just a conduit, Cara. You come from one of the most powerful bloodlines in history. You will be part of a triad. Your basic nature will leave you no choice.”
It was hard to argue with that. Repeatedly since coming to the Citadel, she had been dream sharing with Tov and Merrik. They swore they were not creating the erotic dreams intentionally, and she knew she wasn’t. Still, more often than not when she drifted off to sleep, she ended up in their arms.
“Does your certainty have anything to do with Merrik being your nephew?” Cara softened the accusation with a smile.
Nadis did not seem insulted. “I honestly believe Merrik would make any female a wonderful mate, but that was not the primary reason for my comment. I am sensitive to psychic energy. I know you are still linked with Merrik and Tov. Shielding your mind was one of the first skills I taught you. If you have serious doubts about bonding with them, why have you allowed the courtship to continue?”
It was a damn good question. She had wondered more than once if she could prevent the shared dreams from occurring, yet she had never even tried to keep them out. And the nightly sessions were interactive. She was an eager participant, not a helpless victim.
“If you want Tov and Merrik, why pretend that you’re considering other teams?” Raina added. “I know Flora has been sending you profiles just like she sends them to me.”
A guilty smile tugged at Cara’s lips. “I haven’t even opened the messages. If she won’t let me bond with Merrik and Tov, I will leave the star system. I will not be forced into the Altorian equivalent of a loveless marriage.”
“Flora and her mates went to a lot of trouble and spent a great deal of money so they could offer you choices. It is not their intention to force you into anything,” Nadis objected.
“They are offering us choices within the expectations of the Citadel,” Cara argued. “I’m not sure I want to be a conduit.”
Nadis shook her head. “Being a conduit is not something you choose. You were born a conduit. Your physiology makes you feel incomplete without the other two parts of your triad. You will always crave what only your bonded mates can give you. The need is literally programmed into your DNA.”
Cara started to argue, but she knew Nadis was right. “It’s hard to set aside twenty years of social programming. The characteristics that are valued on Earth are so different than what is expected of an Altorian female.”
That brought Nadis’ brows together. “You do not have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable. Did Tov and Merrik expect you to be submissive in and out of the bedroom?”
“I wasn’t with them long enough to find out. We had one conversation about the future and then the message came from Flora and her mates.”
Nadis was still studying Cara closely. The female was much too perceptive for Cara’s comfort. “Why haven’t you told Flora about any of this?” the mentor challenged.
Cara licked her lips, feeling defensive and slightly guilty. “There hasn’t been time. I’m always with you and she is always out on a mis—”
“That’s nonsense. Try again.”
With a long, shuddering sigh, Cara admitted, “I’m afraid. It is so easy to forget who I am when I’m with them. All I can think about is making them happy whenever they touch me.”
“But don’t they make you happy too?” Raina asked, obviously confused by Cara’s hesitation.
“It’s overwhelming. Trust me, it’s really overwhelming.”
“Choosing your mates is the most important decision you will ever make,” Nadis stressed. “I urge you both to take your time and carefully consider your options. Start with a solid foundation of trust. Then add open and honest communication. Developing a friendship with your mates is just as important as sexual chemistry. Make sure you both choose wisely.”
CHAPTER7
Infuriated by the persistent telepathic signal pinging away inside his mind, Cylex slipped from the training center and hurried toward the nearest storeroom. He was so damn tired of Jevara’s pettiness and his irrational demands. Cylex was just about ready to hop on the next commuter transport and leave the star system for good. A ragged sigh followed the thought. It was impossible and he knew it. His three younger sisters would be unprotected if he left. Two were employed, yet naive. He had kept them insulated from the uglier realities of life. He wanted them to enjoy their innocence as long as possible. The youngest was still in school. The only way he could leave was if he took them with him, and he couldn’t afford that option right now.
Cylex paused for several deep breaths, regaining his composure. He could not reveal his frustration to the emperor. He must appear like a loyal servant, even if that loyalty was wearing dangerously thin. He activated the subdermal comm-link in his forearm and responded to the telepathic page.
“It has been nine days since your last check-in,” Jevara sneered. His miniature holo-image shifted and wavered, flickering for a moment before it stabilized. “Where in all of hell’s realms have you been?”
“At my post, sire. I warned you that my new position would make it even harder to communicate. Not only am I inside the Citadel, but I am seldom left alone.” He wasn’t sure why he had been chosen to guard the conduits, but the assignment was a double-edged sword. It forced him to interact with his targets. He knew their names and personalities. He had seen them lose their tempers and laugh, even break down in tears. In a word they were ‘real’ to him now. Guarding them also gave him access to information he was no longer certain he wanted to pass on. Jevara was an amoral tyrant and Cylex found the thought of assisting him in any capacity repellent.
“Even bodyguards have to piss.”
It took everything Cylex had not to glare openly at the petulant emperor. “Did you need something specific?”
