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“Are you serious? I can’t agree to that. It isn’t me. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you day and night, but I need to preserve some of my independence.”
“Do you really think that I want you to give up on yourself and be miserable? I just think you should branch out and find more sources that make you shine. I think you should shine at my side.”
“You don’t even know what I do for a living,” I provoke him.
“Does it matter?” he pushes back. “Personally, all I want is freedom, security, love and warmth. Anything else is just a bonus. One day you’re alive, and the next you’re dead. One day you’re married, and the next day divorced. Life is extremely dynamic. Each person has different stepping-stones, and various acquaintances that come and go. You can’t expect to stay in one place and find different people.”
“I’m afraid,” I confess.
“I have a lot of affection and love to give you,” he keeps dazzling me. “I must have kept it all these years just for you. Well, perhaps some naughty things, too,” he winks at me so I won’t accidently think he might be innocent. “You should learn how to allow yourself to be on the receiving end.”
“And receive it from you?” I insist on this detail.
“Of course, above all. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the most important thing. I want you to trust me; I will never hurt you. I want you to come to me with everything that concerns you and Roy; you must commit to me. I don’t want to have to compete with your exes and start piecing together bits of information. I want full disclosure and confidence. Could you provide that?” He asks in all seriousness and then falls silent.
I bow my head down and stifle the pain that spreads throughout my body and burns my eyes as though I was about to cry.
“I don’t know,” I confess. “I’m not used to it, you know? I’ve never been absolutely truthful with my partners. I’ve always kept things to myself. I denied my own desires and tried to adjust to their needs.”
“That’s exactly the opposite of what I want,” he looks at me angrily. “Be yourself. If you feel broken – break down beside me, we can figure things out together. If you’re horny – jump me, even if it’s in the middle of the street. If you’re attracted to Michael, or in love with him – don’t hide it from me. Do you see where I’m going with this?”
“And what about you? How will you handle it? It’s a pretty tall order.”
“Do I look to you like someone who can’t handle it? Trust me, I’ve been through a thing or two in my life. I want to feel fully confident with you. I want to be myself in front of you, bare my soul to you,” he caresses my face.
“So, I’m also in love with Michael,” I make my first move.
He smiles and pulls me closer to him.
“I know,” he kisses my forehead. “We’ll handle that too. I’m glad you shared it with me.”
“Can we go back to the room? I’m exhausted,” I confess.
“Certainly,” hand in hand, we headed towards the elevator.
Rome looks amazing through the suite’s window. We didn’t go outside for even a second. We made love, spoke and filled in the gaps for each other. We shared about our past and planned for the future.
“The first thing we need to handle is Michael,” I become serious. “Perhaps I should tell him myself? He keeps flirting with me nonstop, and I can feel he’s becoming more and more relentless. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s very dear to me.”
“It seems you swept him off his feet, too,” he caresses my hair. “But Michael is a sensitive man and, lately, he’s also experienced quite a few disappointments. I promise that when the right time comes, I’ll explain everything to him. I won’t hide, and I’m certainly not afraid. Some things are out of our hands. Right now, he’s completely invested in his tour. In any case, I’m responsible for it. I promised you I’d take care of everything. Just relax and things will work out. I promise. He’ll forgive us.”
“I hope,” I hug him.
“I don’t get those husbands of yours. How could they have let you go? Are they aware that even if they searched for a hundred years, they wouldn’t find a woman like you?”
“I don’t know,” I smile. “Frankly, I don’t really care.” Everything I had known or felt is nothing compared this moment, this feeling and this man! I gleefully pinch his cheek and smooch him like a little girl. He loves how uninhibited I am with him.
“Listen closely, Sam Rodriguez, I intend to make up for all the time I had lived my life without you.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, sarcastic as always.
“Yes,” he announces. “I’ll make all my most secret fantasies come true with you, and I hope you’ll do the same with me. We both have a vivid imagination,” he winks his perfect eye at me. “And a couple of props, too. As long as my woman stays pleased.” He kisses my neck.
“Your woman,” I nod. “I like the sound of that,” I smile.
“It does sound good.”
And then, after exchanging countless words and not one decision, we enter the limousine and head back to the airport.
