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“I can assure you that I know what you mean,” he smiles. “You should know that I lost my father when I was nine years old. He was killed in battle and my mother couldn’t handle the heartache. Just like you, all I wanted was to protect her as much as I could. In any case, frankly speaking, that’s why I don’t want to make any promises regarding things we cannot control. The only thing that I’m convinced about is that I love your mommy very much and, therefore, I can assure you that I don’t have any intentions of hurting her. That’s why I’ll do everything in my power to make her happy, and that can only happen is if you’re happy, too,” he hugs him. Roy returns into his hug. Why wouldn’t he? Avi’s touch and smell are so intoxicating.
“Now that we’ve cleared the air, I think it’ll be best if we get to know each other. Let’s put everything aside and watch some cartoons together, let’s have some fun,” he declares with a big smile, after concluding all the emotional parts of the conversation. He’s well-aware that a young child’s attention span tends to be rather short. They sit side by side on the shaggy round rug, snacking and laughing.
“Avi, you’re such a perfect man,” I whisper to him at night.
“Your love and devotion make me perfect; I love you, babe,” he whispers back, and falls asleep in my arms.
During those busy days, my affair with Michael moves full steam ahead. Even though I keep pretending everything between us is normal, the more I learn about him, the more my love for him grows deeper, much more than it should. He calls me anytime he can: when he wakes up in the morning and before he goes to bed. On those long calls, he shares all his life experiences, his bitter disappointments, and asks about me in return. As the days pass by, I become more attached to his beautiful soul. He makes me feel comfortable and valued; I open up to him more than I have to anyone. Avi doesn’t know about it. Talking was never our relationship’s forte. We’re so madly and consumingly attracted to one another that our passion swallows up all the words, leaving us little to no spare time. But with Michael, the distance probably makes us feel less vulnerable and the outer layers seem to disappear. “I really miss you, Sam, I can’t wait to see you again. Even though we’re so far away right now, I’ve never felt so close to anyone. I can share with you my deepest secrets and still feel comfortable and happy. My life was never as glamorous as it is in the movies. I’ve been hurt and taken advantage of so many times. Before I met you, I never thought I could trust anyone again. You’re so important to me.”
“As you are, to me.” We warmly kiss each other over the phone. What have I done? I can’t stop thinking about him and how much I love and care for him, or about how special and dear he is to me. How could I deceive him and break his heart? He doesn’t deserve any of this! I’ve never had someone who dedicated so much of his time to me. It seems that he’s putting a lot of effort into this relationship. And what am I doing?
I don’t know what to do! I love him, too! He’s so precious to me, and I don’t want to hurt him like that! However, each time I try to talk to him and tell him about Avi, either something happens, or Avi is standing right next to me. I don’t want to drop this bomb on him and completely break his heart. Not only regarding our relationship, but also because, God forbid, he might think Avi has been lying and betraying him, too. He loves him so much. How did we get here, and how did I drag us all into this? I hope that Avi’s insistence on telling him face-to-face when he sees him is the right thing to do. In the meantime, I keep things from him.
As if that isn’t enough, I still have to take care of Roy and work. As I’ve accumulated a large clientele over the years, I start contacting them again, and take my sales and marketing skills up a notch as I sell products for thousands on a daily basis.
Since Avi is so persistent, he comes over every day after work. He spends most of his time with Roy, does puzzles with him on the gray carpet in the hallway. Sometimes, he takes him on bike rides.
When they’re together, Avi barely pays me any attention. It allows me to freely attend to my business, Roy enjoys it so much and they’re both completely dedicated to that world of theirs, a world where they can fly off to distant lands. Oh! He’s absolutely perfect. He’s everything I could have ever dreamed of. Every moment without him seems like an eternity. His scent is always around me, drenched in my very pores. His presence engulfs me. When he’s attends to his business and is far away from me, I feel empty and nervous, I search for him in every corner. He never fails me and keeps treating me like a princess. When I address him, at any time, or situation, he immediately stops everything and devotes himself to me, kissing, caressing, whispering dirty words to me, describing love scenarios to me, and fulfilling all his secret fantasies with me. The more he seems to feed me, the hungrier I become. I’m completely addicted, and give in to him willingly, openly and blissfully.
He makes me feel so confident that I carry myself throughout the day in complete style. I feel comfortable looking directly into people’s eyes again. I stand up for myself, unafraid of the consequences.
He surprises us over the weekend and takes us to the fair. He rejoices like a wild child. He’s so funny that Roy easily gives in to his playfulness, drawn into his child-like games. We’re all very happy.
That’s it. My week with Roy is over. I’ve already dropped him off at Matthew’s. I’ve decided to surprise my dear man tonight. I want to show him just how much he has changed my whole world, and how much I appreciate his actions and thoughtfulness. Tonight I’ll loosen up and give him a taste of my own fantasies.
We schedule to meet at his place. He sends a cab over and makes sure I arrive safe and sound. I walk into his bedroom and await him, wearing nothing but sexy black garters that make me look hot as hell and light makeup, including red lipstick. I turn on the music and choose Prince’s “Cream.” I crank up the volume, dim the lights and wait. When he walks into the room, I approach him lustily, determinedly. I walk towards him in my black heels, throw him onto the bed and he yields like a man under hypnosis.
I start dancing to the rhythm of the music. I completely lose myself in the deep and sensual sounds. I touch myself, caress my legs up and down, seductively. I sway my hips from side to side. I turn around on my heels. ‘I perform like a seasoned stripper,’ I playfully think to myself.
He’s fascinated, enthralled and captivated, patiently waiting for me to finish.
“You’re the fantasy I never knew I had,” he looks at me, bewitched. “I’m simply crazy about you!” He kisses me and nibbles on the back of my neck. He peels off all the pieces of fabric still clinging to my body and throws them to the floor.
“You don’t need all of that! It’s best that you just stay naked,” and he means it. The frequency of our love making is impossible and addictive and, when we stop, it’s physically painful.
“There are still so many fantasies we need to explore together. Don’t you ever think that’ll ever get bored of you.”
“I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for Roy and me this past week,” I whisper gratefully and kiss his cheek.
“My princess, it was my pleasure, too, you know!” He smiles. “You’re my everything. My everything.
”
Chapter 18
I was happy to receive a very tempting offer from the company I work at; they offered me to hire additional agents. The more they make, the more I make. Tonight, we’re about to begin another recruitment round. I get a rather big bonus for each round and boy do I need it! Not necessarily because I need the money, but more for my self-esteem and the confidence that has been building inside me lately. I want to shed off the past and shine. I have a real opportunity to succeed and finally shatter my own glass ceiling. If I manage to recruit agents from around the world – that’s where the big money is – it would help me increase my salary, regardless of the bonuses and annual dividends. Naturally, this requires hard work and dedication. Matthew’s words still ring through my mind. “How can you call it work? It’s nothing more than a pyramid scheme.” I immediately feel a sense of insecurity climbing up my spine; but I quickly push it back; I have to do well tonight and give it my all. But it also means, I need to focus on our huge four-day conference in London. I wonder how Avi will respond to it. I hope he won’t disappoint me and support me through it. This could possibly be the first obstacle in our relationship. I’ll tell him all about it later. But first, I want him to see me as impressively and seriously as possible.
I rush to my hairdresser and continue from there to my favorite boutique store. I find a small, sexy, and quite impressive black suit that, surprisingly enough, isn’t too expensive either. Excited, I start getting ready. I put on my perfect suit, meticulously apply my makeup and, in the end, armed with my black heels and black leather briefcase, I take a cab to his place.
As I step out the cab, I hear someone calling out my name: “Sam?”
“Hey, Dean, what’s up?” I smile warmly. I adore him!
“Wow, Sam, you look absolutely remarkable,” he reaches his hands out to me. I’m embarrassed. I wonder if Dean is as sex-crazed as his brother, I naughtily consider.
“My brother’s a lucky man.”
“Thanks,” I stifle a shy smile.
