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“As if you care,” he scours. “I’m fine. So? You’re here to tell me that you’re getting married?”
“Yes,” I say without getting into any details.
“I see, so all that’s left for me to say is congratulation,” his voice quivers.
“Thank you,” we both reply with sincere appreciation.
“Sam, I never wanted to hurt you. You were and still are a very important part of my life. Avi was right. I wasn’t as dedicated to you as I should have been. I’m sorry. I wish you all the best. I know that Roy is fond of Avi; he keeps telling me about how much fun they have together. I appreciate it, man,” Matthew looks directly at Avi.
“With pleasure,” he places his hand on his chest. “Your son is dear to me. I’ll always respect, love and cherish him. He’s amazing. I’ll never try to take your place or cast you aside,” he adds with sincerity.
“So, good luck to you two.”
“Thank you, Matthew, I really mean it,” I emphasize. “I can imagine this isn’t easy for you, and I certainly didn’t plan things this way. The most important issue is that we’ll always be good and loving parents and respect each other.”
Matthew and Avi nod. We shake hands and leave, relieved.
“This went exceptionally well,” I tell Avi. “I feel much better now. It’s been weighing on me for a long time.
Deep down I felt embarrassed for having found a new relationship so quickly. I knew that Mathew loves me and always has. We’ve lost one another because of our poor communication and silly power plays. I wish him happiness,” I hope in all sincerity.
Avi’s face seems to light up when it witnesses my composed expression.
“We should celebrate; we’ll go that same hotel I had stayed at while waiting for you.”
“My love, you’re my everything.”
Chapter 23
The days pass and we both bask in our love and hopes for the future. Michael finally returns and shyly, yet excitedly, enters the house.
“Congratulations!” he cries out into the room. “I’m so happy for you both.” He wholeheartedly hugs Avi. “You’ve finally gotten your act together,” and slaps him on the shoulder.
“Yes, bro, all thanks to you,” Avi smiles with gratitude. “My life was so empty before I met her, and now I finally feel alive. That’s why I don’t miss a single thing from my past,” he adds sarcastically.
“Well, that’s probably because you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met,” he addresses me. “I’ll forever cherish the moments we’ve shared. I know that I broke your heart, but I’d like to explain a few things.”
“Well, yes, you did break my heart. But I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I leave him standing there and quickly disappear into the kitchen, completely ignoring his bewitchingly marvelous eyes.
After lunch, we have no choice but to start planning the wedding. After all, there’s so much to do and we’re running out of time: lighting operators, singers, dancers, invitations, handling an endless guest list. Although Avi is my prince charming, this ceremony isn’t as meaningful to me. We’re bound to each other in so many other ways. I try my best, but I find it all so pointless and I barely cooperate with him. Avi is somewhat indifferent to it, too; he lets Michael and me handle everything and spends a lot of time with Roy, as if he had been waiting for someone to play with. Michael often gets angry with him and complains that he isn’t the one getting married, and that’s it time that we both participate in the planning. The tension between us grows as I become more and more distance. I’m cold to him; I can’t seem to be able to look into the same eyes that had once put a spell on me.
“Enough!” at some point I lash out at him and yell. “Do whatever you think is right. I don’t care one bit. I trust you to make our wedding perfect. If there’s any matter that doesn’t have anything to do with me – I don’t want to hear about it.”
“Why are you yelling at me?” he shouts infuriated. “Do you think this is easy for me? This is no picnic for me either. Do you know how hard it is to plan a wedding for the woman I love, who is marrying my best friend, no less?”
“Ugh,” I continue full force. “The woman you love! That’s rich! Now you’re trying to steal my thunder? No way!” I declare. “This is my moment, get it? I can behave however I’d like. When you love someone, you don’t leave them. And if you do, don’t be surprised that you miss them!”
He kisses me suddenly and passionately. I immediately pull back and then lash out again.
“You, the whole package,” I wave my arms and my forefinger draws a circle around him, “you’re too good for me. You have a huge heart, you’re so handsome and charismatic – you have it all, don’t you?! What could I ever have been to you? Nothing more than a notch in your bedpost.”
“Sam, don’t say those things!” he bursts into tears. “I swear that I had no other choice! My hands were tied, my heart is in pieces. Please, hear me out. I was worried for you! She flew off the handle! She was ready to take the gloves off, she wanted to expose everything and humiliate you. You wouldn’t have been able to handle it. I knew how desperate you were to keep our threesome discreet, that you were worried by what people would say and how it would affect your custody battle over Roy. I didn’t want to put you at risk. You have to understand! I’ve made a horrible mistake. We had a terrible argument and I accidentally blurted out that she would never be as good as you. And suddenly, she connected all the dots. She realized that we were together, and so are you and Avi. She threatened me that if I didn’t get back with her, she’d defame and malign your character, and very publicly. I couldn’t let her do that to you. Please, understand, it’s my fault. I had already exposed you and our love to the entire world on that video clip at the award ceremony. So, I was left with no option other than to be with her. I was shattered, restless, and self-destructive. You can’t imagine what I’ve been through.”
I’m choked up as tears mutely pour down my cheeks. I’m stunned.
“And what now?” I compose myself.
“We broke up. A while ago. I was only waiting for her meds to kick in and for her to calm down. After she got it together, I made it understood that she was, for me, a toxic and dangerous woman that I no longer wanted in my life, leaving you out of the equation. I had to hurt you, but I am so sorry for all that I’ve put you through. I just needed to bide my time until she got better. I felt pity for her.”
