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He wasn’t great at putting his thoughts into words. At least not in the way I would understand them.
If I took what he’d just said at face value, he’d just told me that I was making him uncomfortable by touching him—which was an unpleasant thing in my understanding. But based on what he’d already said, I didn’t think he meant unpleasant.
“I’m going to need you to be more direct than that,” I said simply, stepping closer to him.
His gaze searched my face. “I want everything with you.Everything, Mariah. I ache for it—for all of it. For your hands and lips on every part of me, and mine on every part of you. I don’t deserve it—I’ve failed you too many times. But that knowledge doesn’t stop the wanting.”
Understanding swelled in my chest.
He wanted me. Wanted to kiss me, to touch me. To be kissed by me, and touched by me.
He just didn’t think he was worthy of it.
And feeling unworthy was definitely something that could make a person clam up without admitting their desires aloud.
If things were going to progress for us, I was going to have to prove to him that I didn’t find him unworthy. And considering that he thought I’d been rejecting him for months, that probably wasn’t going to be an easy feat.
My mind flashed back to that moment in the forest, when I’d been terrified that he was going to murder that whole damn pack of hellhounds. I didn’t care for them either, given all that had happened, but I didn’t believe in mass murder.
I’d sunk to my knees before him, and begged. “Please, Ervo.”
The look of barely-contained fury in his eyes, as he hauled me back to my feet, was one I doubted I’d ever forget.
His words, I knew would linger in my mind for the rest of my life.“You are far too important to ever kneel for a man.”
He had let the hounds live, but he’d only done it for me.
And with those words in my mind again, I understood exactly what I needed to do, to know whether or not he believed he was worthy of me.
I needed to kneel in front of him.
Not today, in the shower. He would snarl those same damn words at me if I tried that.
But it was something to aim for.
A goal, a progress marker.
And damn, I had always loved a good goal.
Usually they were reading goals, though.
With a plan starting to bubble and boil in my mind, I simply said, “Okay,” and turned my back to him. “Will you finish washing my hair?”
“Of course.” His voice softened, and his fingers slid back into my hair.
And as he massaged my scalp until my whole damn body was jello, I plotted.
Ten
When I shutthe water off, Ervo grabbed a towel. He wrapped it carefully around me, then grabbed the second towel and used it gently on my hair.
“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to dry yourself off with that one,” I said playfully, making him chuckle softly.
“I’d rather it smell like you before I wrap it around myself.”
My face warmed a bit.
My plan was so damn worth it.
