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My stomach clenched as his soft footsteps carried him toward me. He turned before he reached me, and pulled a book off the wall. And then silently, he handed it to me.
“What is this?” I asked, as I put the other book down with one hand and accepted Ervo’s with another.
“I’m not skilled at expressing my emotions aloud,” he admitted. “Or opening up. I prefer to keep my thoughts here, where they belong.” He tapped his temple. “It will take me time to get used to sharing. And you may need to remind me, to push me.” He stepped closer, taking my free hand, and lifting it to his chest. “But I want to be what you want. I want to know your favorite colors, and the things you’re afraid of. What exactly I can do to make your eyes light up, too. I fear I might scare you away, should I voice my questions or ask what I’d like to.”
My throat swelled. “You have a better chance at scaring me away by murdering people than by asking me whether I prefer long or short hair.”
His eyes softened slightly. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For removing Clevv’s head while your eyes were on me.” His hand pressed against mine lightly on his chest, even as I shivered with the memory. “I don’t regret protecting you, or removing a threat from our world. But I will always wish I had done so away from you, so you wouldn’t have to live with the horrors of our life here.”
“I need to be stronger, anyway,” I whispered back.
“You don’t.” His voice was firm.
His hand lifted my palm from his chest to his lips, where he brushed a kiss over my knuckles.
“I feel like I need to go back to the new Stronghold,” I admitted, though I wanted to stay and talk more. To hear him tell me what he was thinking, and why he was thinking it. “North challenged Fovea to a fight. I need to be there with them, to make sure my friends are okay. We became a family.”
He let out a slow breath. “Alright. You stay at my side when we get there, though. And fly with me.”
“You know I have my own wings,” I teased him gently.
“I know you fit perfectly on my back.” He brushed another kiss to my knuckles. “We share a bed while we’re there, as well. You stay at my side—and there’s nodating.” His voice grew sharp with that last addition. “Or crashing into other men.”
A little laugh escaped me. “Okay, I actually didn’t do that on purpose.”
“I know. It’s still not allowed.”
His eyes were hot, daring me to disagree.
I rolled mine at him. “Fine. You’re going to have to teach me how to land properly, then.”
“That, I will do happily.” He dragged my knuckles back to his lips. “And my vow stands.”
Ohh.
My face heated at the reminder of said vow.
“Does it bother you that I’m a harsh? That I might not be able to have kids?” I asked him, as suddenly as the thought occurred to me.
“Why would it? I never imagined a future with children.”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s something everyone at least considers, back on Earth.” My face was still warm. “I always wanted one or two kids. I’m not sure how I feel about the new development that I might not be able to.”
“Many things have changed since the female fae were last a part of our society. January is a harsh, yet pregnant. I don’t think the division between harsh and light is as written in stone as Fovea believes.” He stroked his thumb over my knuckles lightly. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay here with me for a few more days, Mariah?”
I let my gaze slide over the treehouse.
It was a relaxing place, and the view was beautiful.
But… my friends were going through some shit. And they might not have really needed me, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to be there for them.
“Next time,” I said instead.
The man’s lips curved into one of the expressions he rarely gave me:
