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I was the one who had judged him harshly, and coldly. He had been showing me that he cared in his own rough, untrained way. He’d never been with a human woman; he’d never watched a romance movie, or been told what we liked and wanted.
He’d said again and again that he wanted me. That he was mine.
And I hadn’t listened.
My eyes watered as I flipped the page again.
To lose myself
In that smile,
That laugh,
Those eyes.
To fall to pieces
In those arms…
How I long for it,
How hard I try.
Despite this distance,
Despite this pain,
I continue reaching for her
Again, and again, and again.
She is not mine.
I am not in her bed.
And yet I am hers
As I have always been.
Tears dripped down my cheeks,and I wiped them with my arm before they could fall to the pages of the poem book.
I had rejected him.
I hadn’t seen him, not really.
I hadhurthim.
And yet he had still protected me. Taken care of me as much as I had let him.
Been mine.
I flipped to the next page.
And the next.
And the next.
When Ervo finally landed, I dropped the book on the floor and crossed the space between us quickly. He saw me coming, saw my tears, and alarm flashed over his face. He dropped the pillows and blankets on the balcony—just in time to catch me as I crashed into him.
