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“No more worries, babe.” He smoothed a hand over her back. “You’ve made me see things clearly. I’ve spent so much time pushing to see how much shit I can get away with and throw at people until they up and leave.”
“Much easier to piss people off and push them away. Do it to them before they do it to you.”
Mamba’s face stilled as he measured her words. “Fuck, I never thought of it that way. I’m always pushing buttons as a way to test people.” His forehead furrowed. “Shit, that’s fucked up and scarily true.”
“And I don’t push anyone because I’m afraid they’ll get mad and leave. One of my biggest fears is being alone, probably because of how my father just up and left the family.”
“Abandonment issues.”
“Exactly.”
“I had a shrink in the joint tell me the same thing, only I’m too aggressive, pissing people off until they either throw me out or leave. Fucked up way to live.”
“Maybe together we can make each other see how worthy we are without any mind games or putting up a protective shield that only does more damage.”
“You’re unbelievable. I got almost ten years on you, yet you see things so clearly.”
“I just have a better base. I know my mother loves me, and in his dysfunctional way, Ajax does too, but maybe you never felt true love.”
Mandy’s words silenced him for a minute.
“My relationship with my father was nonexistent, and you know my record with women. The only real bond I’ve ever had was with the Serpents, and I managed to fuck that up too.” Mamba gathered Mandy into his arms and nuzzled her neck. “Fuckin’ crazy how you came into my life, but maybe this time I can get on track, man up, and stop blaming others for my screw-ups.”
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
“Aren’t you excited about tonight?” Mitzi stared at herself in the full-length mirror on the back of Mandy’s bedroom door. “Maybe I should wear this black top instead of the red one.” She tilted her body, looking at her reflection from the back as she arranged the shirt over her full breasts.
“The black one looks fine, and no, I’m not excited. I’m nervous.”
“Of course you are. Seeing Mamba all sweaty andall male.” Mitzi fanned herself with a hand. “I can’t wait to see him, and he’s not even mine.”
“Well, he’s not mine either. Not really, I mean we’re—”
“You’re what? You don’t fool me. You’ve gone down to Searchlight for the last four weeks, had incredible sex, and—”
“How do you know I’ve had incredible sex?”
“Because it’s all you talk about.” Mitzi shot her a pointed look. “How many orgasms he gives you, how big his—”
Mandy held up her palms in surrender. “Okay, I admit it. We have hot, steamy, off-the-charts sex.”
“Exactly.” Mitzi grinned, obviously proud of herself. “So, no wonder you’re excited and nervous.”
Mitzi’s logic made sense. The feelings Mamba unearthed in her were amazing, incredible, and terrifying all at once. The sex was everything she admitted to Mitzi, but it went deeper. Mamba touched something in her and woke up a part of her she didn’t know existed—a need to stand up for herself and have the power and confidence to see it through. No matter what happened between her and Mamba in the future, she’d never let Ajax or anyone stand in the way of what she wanted again. Mamba had given her that gift, and she loved him for it. Love? That one word held so much weight, but yes, she did love him, and tonight after the fight would be the perfect time to tell him.
“Hey, where did you go just then?” Mitzi narrowed her eyes. “You have a weird look on your face.”
“I’m fine.” Way too much introspection. “I don’t want anything to go wrong.”
“You said yourself that Ajax has been in such a good mood all week.”
“Yes, and that in itself is frightening. He’s hardly ever in a good mood, and he’s about to step into the ring with Mamba his arch enemy. I know Ajax hates me seeing him, and he still blames Mamba for what happened to Achilles. I’m just worried.”
“They’re gonna get in the cage and do what all men do—act like stupid men. Plus, the place will be packed. What can happen?”
“I wish you hadn’t said that.”
Mitzi changed into the red shirt and examined herself again. “First, pre-gaming in the parking lot, then watching sweaty men beat the shit out of each other. What could be better?”
